The Best 45 Cord Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cord jokes. There are some cord harness jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cord midair puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cord Jokes and Puns

A skydiver jumps from a plane

but nothing happens when he pulls his rip-cord. He pulls the cord on his secondary chute, but this too is broken. As he is hurdling toward the earth, he sees a man coming straight up toward him. 'Hey!' shouts the skydiver. 'Know anything about parachutes?!' 'No!' shouts the man. 'Know anything about gas barbecues?!'

How do blind sky divers know when to pull the rip cord?

When the leash goes slack.

Corduroy Pillow Cases

Why do we struggle so much creating headlines?

Cord joke, Corduroy Pillow Cases

What kind of cord does Albert Camus use?


(Okay I know he denied being an existentialist because he was an absurdist but still - I made this joke up while working at a hardware store)


Corduroy pillows are making headlines.........

Why was the umbilical cord sad?

He got cut from the naval base.

My friend asked me if I ever missed the idea of being in the womb. I said "The only thing I'd miss was my umbilical cord....."

I was very attached to it.

Cord joke, My friend asked me if I ever missed the idea of being in the womb. I said "The only thing I'd miss w

Roses are red, my name is Evan...

I cant pass the aux cord i have an iPhone 7

Did you hear about the phone cord in the army?

He was discharged.

Skydiving student recieves a lesson

A student is in a skydiving lesson and the instructor explains, "first count to ten and then rip the cord to open the parachute.

The student asks, "wha-wha-wha-what wa-wa-was that nu-nu-nu-number again?

The instructor answered, "two."

Just in time for Christmas, the gift for people who like peace and quiet...

...a phoneless cord.

You can explore cord cordless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cord unplug dad jokes. There are also cord puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

When I was younger I was strangled by the umbilical cord.

Mothers are way more defensive over their newborns than I expected.

What do you get with a corduroy condom?

A groovy kind of love.

A relative of mine works at a toy distribution center.

They specialize in talking dolls. They recently received a Muslim one, but nobody knows what it says because they're all afraid to pull the cord.

Something happened at a friend's work

A relative of mine works at a toy distribution center. They specialize in talking dolls. They recently received a Muslim one, but nobody knows what it says because they're all afraid to pull the cord.

How to fix America?

Unplug the power cord wait 10 seconds, plug it back again. See if it works.

Cord joke, How to fix America?

Pull the cord

I saw this talking muslim doll in the toy store and asked the shop owner what it was supposed to say.

'Dunno', he said, 'nobody dared to pull the cord so far'

I wanna leave this world the same way I came in...

naked with a cord around my neck.

I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it..

With a cord around my neck.

Shout out to my spinal cord

For always having my back

I was always afraid of dying alone, so thanks for being with me in my final moments.

Parachute instructor: PULL THE CORD PULL THE CORD!

I miss my umbilical cord

I grew attached to it.

Why was the spinal cord really jumpy?

It was part of a nervous system.

I miss my umbilical cord

I had grown very attached to it

One of my proudest memories as a father was the day I got to cut the cord...

Needless to say my son won't be bungee jumping again.

Dad, do you have an AUX cord?

A son in his fathers car asked his father,
Dad, do you have an Aux cord?
His father responded,
No, but would a cowbell work?

I just had my spinal cord removed

It was holding me back, anyway.

A parachutist is plummeting to Earth

Because her ripcord malfunctioned.

As she frantically pulls at the defective cord, she passes a man atop a stove traveling the opposite way.

She yells out to him, Hey, do you know how to fix a parachute!?

He replies back No! Do you know anything about repairing gas lines??

Why I won't move my arms

The first I use my arms is to reach for my life support cord

You've been cordially invited to the exclusive, super secret, society of masturbators...

Please come alone.

What cord impresses the priests the most?

B minor

What's the most painful part for an Italian man when his mama dies?

Cutting the umbilical cord.

I heard a fight broke out in the orchestra hall today.

Apparently someone struck a wrong cord and it led to a lot of violins.

Me: Honey, it's a boy!

Me: *cuts off umbilical cord*

Doctor: sir I already cut off the umbilical cord


Me: It's a girl!

You never hear any mention of who cut the cord at Jesus' birth.

It must have been unbiblical.

the time the cord is inside of you

Yeah when I was in the womb...

Did you know it's illegal for the president to use an extension cord?

That'd be an overreach of his power.

I think think my extension cord is gay...

I was shocked when it came out.

Short short joke

I'm not saying my parents were too strict or unreasonable but the second my umbilical cord was cut after birth I had to go to my room and think about what I had done.

I got punched by my X-Box controller for breaking his charging cord.

He was charged with battery.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?

my ass.

My friend has been terribly depressed since he went bungy jumping and the cord snapped.

He just hasn't bounced back.

I caught my son biting the electrical cord

I was shocked and grounded him. He resisted but I told him to stay positive. It's been a week, he's currently doing better and conducting himself properly.

A priest is buying a used lawnwoer


He inspects it and asks owner how does it start. "Very simple, you pull the cord and if it doesn't start right away keep pulling and start swearing." The priest is shocked. "I'm a man of the cloth. I may have sworn when I was younger but by now I've forgotten how." "Oh don't worry" says the seller "after couple of pulls it will come back to you."

Just before a redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him,

"Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up."

The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened.

He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened.

As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself, "I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cord lever jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cord defective piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes