Following is our collection of imitation puns and edition one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Copy jokes for adults, dirty clientele jokes and clean bootleg dad gags for kids.
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you dont mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
You have my Word.
You have my Word.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.
If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up.
However, in doing so, he lets you down.
Thus creating the Astley Paradox.
When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"
He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf
"Copy that"
Retweet if you agree.
I will track you down, you have my word.
You have my Word.
The trouble started when I asked him to burn a copy for me.
Dear Charter Internet Customer:
Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are attaching a copy of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice that Charter received from the copyright holder which includes the specific allegation.
Nobody expects the Spanish text edition.
and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that instead of copying the original books , they are copying the copies.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books sobbing. He asks what's wrong.
"The word is celebrate. " says the old monk with tears in his eyes.
Sticky notes.
What did he get from his publisher?
A hard copy.
Boy: whats between moms legs?
father: paradise
Boy: whats between your legs?
Father: the key to the paradise
Boy: piece of advice dad, change the lock, the neighbor has a copy.
Dad: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)
They know each other for years now. Frank, a brain surgeon from new york and Ahmad a former refugee from syria.
Both men want to build an house and decide to build their houses in the very same street, next to each other. They even ask the architect to just copy the first house!
And when the houses are built Ahmad says to Frank: "My house is worth more than yours."
"How can that be? We both live next to each other!"
"Yes"
"Our houses were built identically, with the same materials."
"True."
"So how can it be, Ahmad?"
"Very simple: I live next to a brain surgeon and you live next to a refugee!"
...unfortunately, it wouldn't fit inside her.
Salesman - Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?
Woman - Why on earth would I buy a book like that?
Salesman - Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today.
Dispatcher: Copy that.
Cop: I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer.
An ice Kareem clone
I was sitting in a small café around the corner this morning, reading a copy of Jean-Paul Sartre's Being and Nothingness, when the waitress came up to take my order.
"I'll have a coffee with no cream," I said.
"I'm sorry, sir," she said. "We're all out of cream. Can I give it to you with no milk instead?"
Dragon drop
You have my Word!
Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.
I will find you; you have my Word. You've taken my one only good Outlook in life. Seriously though, how did you gain Access & why did you only leave OneNote?
He told me to know my limits
\- Me
Me: Suspect is dancing naked in the street.
Dispatch: Copy that.
Me: Okay, I'll try, but I'm not much of a dancer.
She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it over to the beach and threw it into the ocean off a fishing pier.
I went and bought another copy, ran the faucet over it and left it in the night table drawer by her bed. That night was the first time she ever screamed and fainted.
The paper replies, "Copy that."
**From my eight year old daughter who WON'T SLEEP
...and sees three other old ladies in the car, all of whom are terrified.
Cop: I pulled you over because you were driving 35 miles per hour on the highway.
Old Lady: Well, that's because the speed limit is 35.
Cop: No, this is HIGHWAY 35. The speed limit is 65. By the way, why are these other three women looking so terrified?
Old Lady: Ohhh, that's because we just got off of highway 145.
Picked up a new copy and flipped through it to find a word I knew disappeared.
The next thing I found was disappointing
When I'd finished, it said, "Saved."
I scored a pristine hardback copy of 'The Lion, The Witch'
When he saw the exam of Joe, a student he hated, he gave him 0% without even reading his exam and wrote at the bottom:
"Stupid! Dumbass!"
When Joe received his copy, he was so shocked he went straight to the teacher's office and said:
"Sir, you didn't even read my exam. All I see is a 0% with your name and signature at the bottom."
I couldn't find it. So I complained to the librarian.
They Replied "Ah that's cause it's in a different position every week"
Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don't you brew us some coffee?"
Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey."
What? Why?
"It's all over the Bible, dearest."
"The Bible says nothing about who's supposed to be brewing coffee!"
The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."
... I just can't seem to fit it inside her. Shouldn't have gotten the hardcover version I guess.
But teach a man to copy & paste, he'll tell everyone's jokes.
Made a copy of the key to her place when we were together, and she's a heavy sleeper
In doing so, he would let you down.
Thus creating the rickroll paradox.
No, sir. It's the same dog.
A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list
I will find you. I will get it back.
You have my Word.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .
They picked pizza.
So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.
(Blatant copy from another joke)
He'd hold it up, and in an excited, but serious voice, he'd say "This has to be some sort of record! She made the cover *AGAIN!*
The chap conducting the interview had a copy of my CV in front of him. He said to me
"It says here you're a man of mystery"
"That's correct" I replied
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"No"
Marxeting
A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays
It includes such classics as If you're happy and you know it……SHIT!
\-*Officer, go ahead.*
\-We responded to a call about a woman who stabbed his husband 38 times after he walked in on the floor still wet. We're at the location.
\-*Copy, Officer Johnson. Have you arrested the woman yet?*
\-Negative, we're waiting for the floor to dry.
Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".
I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.
But they were all booked
It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!
The interviewer decides to test his knowledge of mixing light vs. Mixing pigments by asking him to use green, pink, and yellow in the same sentence about his job.
He says "When the phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"
Every time they miss a period, they get really nervous.
A man walks into blockbuster, has a look around and goes to the front desk.
"excuse me sir, can I have a copy of Batman forever?"
Clerk responds: "Sorry guy, I'm gonna need it back tomorrow night".
have said this may be a copy cat killing
When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?
So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"
The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."
The copy room
Did you hear about the scientist who successfully made an exact copy of himself?
Unfortunately it was very foul mouthed and crude, and the scientist grew tired of it, and finally got rid of it by pushing it off a cliff.
He was later arrested for making an obscene clone fall.
It's an Illegal Alien.
I thought to myself: 'It's not really impossible if he's already done it twice."
I wrote that.
Mine keeps correcting into weird things. Like changing "my" into "me", "money" into "gold pieces" and the letter x into "here be treasure". It's a pirate copy.
Cop: Suspect is engaging in high-profile break-dancing in the main square
Radio: Copy that
Cop: I've had a couple breakdance lessons but I'm no way as good as him sir
Worker one: why does jerry the maintenance guy always do jazz hands after hes finished looking inside the copy machine?
Worker two: is part of his routine maintenance
(I wanted to do this joke as a picture but im lazy and bad at drawing, also sorry for the bad joke)
Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely shagged out.
So I decided to teach my kitten to write. You might think it was pretty hard but he took to it easily. Before long he could do anything I could do.. Turns out he was a copy cat :)
So today I was at work (on the checkouts at a supermarket) and somebody comes along saying: "only a news-paper for me today" as she slaps down a copy of the Sun. I reply, "so where's your news-paper then?"
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father "Well son, now that you've got kids of your own, I think it's time I give you this"
"Dad you don't mean..."
"Yes son, I do" Dad pulls out a copy of 1001 dad jokes, 5th edition "Dad I'm honoured...", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes. "Hi honoured", replies his father, "I'm dad".
Here's a copy of my diary!
Clerk: What can I do for you?
Customer: I'd like a copy of Donald Trump's new book about immigration reform.
Clerk: Get the f-ck out of this place and don't come back, you c-nt!
customer: Yes, that one.
I asked him if he could burn me a copy.
Until I can find a copy of the original POMPE... I hate watching sequels first.
So, either he's gonna give me up or he's gonna let me down. And also make me cry in either case.
All I got was copy pasta
If I made a perfect copy of myself and then threw him naked off of the top of a tall building, would it be murder, suicide or making an obscene clone fall?
1- one will screw it in a tiny bit the rest will copy
There is an abundance of mea jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes and copy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any imitate witze you can hear about copy.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.