coors Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious coors puns

Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?

He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer than neither will I."

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A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"

The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

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the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness go to lunch.

So, the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness are all sitting in a restaurant. When the waitress comes over she takes their drinks order first

- 'Ill have a silver bullet' says the Coors guy
- 'Ill have the king of beers' says the Budweiser guy
- 'Lemonade please' says the head of Guinness

The other two look at him ... 'Lemonade?'

'Well if you're not drinking beer neither am I'

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Arthur Guinness

The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer,then neither will I.

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A bunch of beer company CEOs are at a conference and they decide to go get a drink...

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light, the CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light, the CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light, and the list goes on. The bartender makes his way to the CEO of Guiness and he orders a Coke.

His colleagues ask, "why don't you order a Guiness?"

And the Guiness CEO replies, "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."

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Beer is good.


After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

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An Irishman's First Drink With His Son

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it - so I drank it.
Then I got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey . . .
I could hardly push his stroller back home.

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My first drink with my son

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud.
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.

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Another Irish joke involving beer

While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, "Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!" Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told her, "I want a Coors. It's as refreshing as a Rocky Mountain spring!" The waitress turned to the Guiness CEO, who ordered a Diet Coke. Surprised, his companions asked why he hadn't ordered a Guiness. Smiling, he told them, "I figured if you fellows weren't going to have a beer, I shouldn't either."

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What do Coors Light and sex on the beach have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.


(credit goes to my dad for this one...)

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The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar....

...and the bartender takes orders. The CEO of Budweiser says "I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says "I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Killian's says "These guys are amateurs, give me a Killian's Irish Red. It's smooth, flavorful, and distinct!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Guinness says "I'll have a water."

The others give a confused look. The bartender says "but... why aren't you ordering a beer?"

He responds, "well, nobody else did."

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What do Coors Lite and sex in a canoe have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.

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How are Coors Light and sex in a canoe similar?

They are both fucking close to water.

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3 brewery presidents walk into a bar...

3 brewery presidents walk into a bar. One from Corona, Coors and Guinness.

The president from Corona says to the bartender, "Give me a Corona, the best Mexico has to offer" and the bartender hands him one.

Next, the Coors president orders a Coors saying "Hand me the only beer in the world made with water fresh from the Colorado Rockies."

Then the Guinness president walks up to the bar and orders a Coca Cola. The bartender, a bit taken aback, hands him what he orders.

The other brewery presidents turn to him and say, "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" He replies, "Well, i figured if you guys weren't ordering beers, why should I?"

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4 famous beer owners walk into a bar.

The CEO for Budweiser orders a Bud Light. The CEO for Miller orders a Miller Light. The CEO for Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO for Guinness orders a Coke. They all ask him why he didn't order a Guinness to which he replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer then neither am I."

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What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common?

They're fuckin' close to water.

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What is the difference between Coors beer and a

... clitoris?

A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.

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(NSFW) Coors Light is like having sex in a canoe.

Fucking close to water.

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Beer CEOs walk into a bar...

The CEOs of Budweiser, Guinness, Coors, and Miller all walk into a bar after a beer-tasting contest. The CEO of Budweiser steps up to the bar and says: "I'll have a Budweiser, the King of Beers!" The Coors CEO says: "I'll have a Coors, the beer as cool as the Rockies!" The Miller CEO says, in turn: "I'll have the good ol' taste of a triple-hops brewed Miller!" The CEO of Guinness ponders for a moment and says to the bartender: "Oh, I'll just have a Coke." Bewildered, the other 3 CEOs stare and ask why he didn't order a beer. The Guinness CEO shrugged and said "Well, if you weren't ordering beer, I didn't think I would either".

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What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.

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"Real" Beer

The CEOs of AB InBev, Molson Coors and Guinness are at the bar.

The CEO of AB InBev orders a Bud Light.
The CEO of Molson Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a sparkling water.

The other two CEOs turn to the CEO of Guinness and ask him why he isn't ordering a Guinness to which he replies:

"If you two aren't drinking beer, then neither will I!"

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I'm thinking of starting a fashion line for alcoholics.. I guess I'll just call it..

Michael Coors Light

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A joke from a friend.

4 beer company owners walk into a bar. The owners of Bud, Miller, Coors, and Guiness.
The bartender asks for what they want.
The owner of Bud replies with Bud Light.
The owner of Coors replies with Coors light.
The owner of Miller replies with Miller light.
The owner of Guiness replies with water.
All the other owners stare at him and he says if you aren't drinking real beers neither am I.

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Drinking Coors Light reminds me of making love in a canoe...

It's fucking close to water.

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What do you call beer that is turned into urine?

Of Coors

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Coors Lite is like making love in a canoe

It's fucking close to water.

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How are making love in a boat and Coors Lite similar?

They're both fucking close to water,

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What's the difference between Coors Light and urine?

Kevin Costner built a machine that makes urine drinkable.

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What does Coors and having relations on a boat both have in common?

They're both fucking close to water.

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I read an article last night...

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons,
and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got him an Old Style, he didn't like it either, so I drank it.
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud and the Leinies.

By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.

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My uncle has ordered the same American beer at the bar for 9 years now

I must say, that's a commitment to the coors.

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My craft beer brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like

It's better then Coors

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My buddy asked if I wanted a beer...

And I was like, "Sure what do ya got?"
And he said, "Coors Lite, Miller Lite, and Mike's Hard"
I said, "Good for Mike. I'll take a Coors."

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Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe

It's fucking close to water

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What's a crows favourite beer?

*Coors*

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What are the most funny Coors jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Coors? Well, here are the best Coors dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Coors pick up lines to share with friends.

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