Cooperative Jokes
91 cooperative jokes and hilarious cooperative puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cooperative that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cooperative Short Jokes
Short cooperative jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cooperative humour may include short jokes also.
- A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding
- You know many surnames are taken from jobs. Taylor , Smith , Cooper, etc. Man, am I glad my last name isn't Dickinson!
- What's the difference between the Mafia and Price Waterhouse Cooper? The Mafia have a code of honour.
- I went to the gym the other day... ...I asked the instructor could he teach me to do the splits.
How flexible are you? He asked.
I can't do Tuesdays. - I like rock bands named after their lead singers Like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and Tool.
- To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open" I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"
She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires" - What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer? A co-operating system.
- What's the difference between Sheldon Cooper and Madeline McCann? They both have different viewpoints on black holes
- TIL: Many medieval surnames like Fletcher or Cooper refer to the patriarch's traditional occupation. I guess I won't be marrying Mr. Dickinson.
- Three of five fingers were willing to cooperate but the thumb and forefinger were opposed!
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Cooperative One Liners
Which cooperative one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cooperative? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What kind of car do you drive before you hijack an airline? A DB Mini Cooper
- How do you get two whales in a Mini Cooper? Take the M4, across the Severn Bridge.
- Why don't they cooperate at Disney Pixar? Because teamwork makes the Dreamwork(s)
- One surgeon to the other "let's cooperate"
- Why is it hard to cooperate with the United Nations? Cause UN I will never be a thing.
- What does Alice Cooper say when he finishes a golf game? Im at 18!
- Dating two girls at once isn't too savage Unless it's Winnie Cooper and Topanga Lawrence
- What type of automobile do petite barrel-makers prefer? Mini Cooper.
- What is D.B Cooper's favorite CoD map? Hijack
- Man wanted two doctors to perform his surgery. They refused to cooperate.
- Satan has dissolved his cooperation He is now a soul trader
- When Martin Cooper invented the mobile, He already had a missed call from Chuck Norris.
- If Anderson Cooper walks in a forest and farts, does it make a sound? Nope he's gay!!
- What did Mr. Cooper name his son? Mini Cooper
- What does a suicidal cooper say? Life is un-barrel-able.
Cooperative Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cooperative you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cooperative pranks.
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon q**... with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said.
"An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.
"Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...."
Mom and dad shot up in bed.
"How do you know that?" the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
Please cooperate otherwise it gonna look like r**....
Afternoon s**...
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "q**..." with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.
There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having s**...!!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out,
"How do you know they're having s**...?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
An afternoon q**...
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson knew that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "q**..." with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. As his parents put their plan into operation, he began his commentary:
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt Brown is riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason Smith is on his skate board!"
"Mr. and Mrs. Cooper are having noontime s**...!!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're having s**...?"
"Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony eating a Popsicle."
So Anderson Cooper came out...
That's going on the we-d**...-ulist
A string of jokes I heard a while ago
How do you get four elephants in a mini cooper?
Two in the front, two in the back.
How do you get four giraffes in a mini cooper?
You can't because of all the elephants.
How do you get two whales in a mini cooper?
Same way you get to Wales in any other car, down the M4, over the Severn Bridge.
How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge?
You can hear them giggle when the lights go out.
How can you tell if there are three elephants in your fridge?
You can't *quite* get the door closed.
How can you tell if there are four elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini cooper parked outside.
An airplane is flying over the Atlantic when suddenly...
One out of four engines explodes. The pilot says over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we lost one out of four engines. This is no cause for panic, as we still have three engines that work fine. However, instead of the two hour flight we planned, it will take us three hours. Thank you for your patience."
All seems fine until an hour later, when another loud e**... sounds. The pilot once again comes over the intercom and says, "Hey there, folks. No need to be alarmed; we lost another engine, but rest assured this airplane is still perfectly safe. Unfortunately this makes our delay an hour longer. Thank you four your cooperation."
Another hour goes by without incident, when there is another e**.... "This is your Pilot once again...we lost our third of four engines, but don't worry at all, we are still in good shape. I am sorry to inform you that we will once again be delayed and it will take us five hours to get to our destination. We apologize and thank you for flying with us."
One passenger turns to the next and says, "At this rate we'll be up here forever!"
A convict imprisoned for 1st degree m**... escaped from prison.
On the run, he broke into a young couple's house and tied each of them up on opposite sides of the room. He went over to the wife and bent over beside her, appearing to be kissing her neck. He suddenly got up and left the room. Quickly, the husband rushed to his wife and whispered, "This guy probably hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing your neck and he probably wants to have s**... with you. Just cooperate with him and pretend to enjoy it because our lives depend on it. Be strong and I love you."
His wife whispers back, "You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in years, but he wasn't kissing my neck...he was whispering in my ear. He thinks that you're really cute and asked if there was any l**... in the bathroom. Be strong and I love you too."
Clever 8-year olds
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "q**..." with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced...
"The Coopers are having s**...!"
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.
Dad cautiously called out...
"How do you know they're having s**...?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
Last Names.
It's commonly known that a lot of last names originate from an ancestor's profession, or what they were known for, hundreds of years ago.
If your last name is Smith, it's likely one of your ancestors was a blacksmith.
If your last name is Cooper, they may have been a cooper, who were known for making barrels.
If your last name is Dickinson I wouldn't delve too deep into your family history.
What happens when a political party filled with loyal members builds its entire platform on being unwilling to cooperate with the opposing party in a system based on compromise between parties that share power?
Your government fails.
wait... sorry I wrote this joke last year, I guess its not that funny anymore.
The q**...
Bob and Jen decided to have a little Sunday afternoon q**... but had to figure out what to do with their 10-year-old son since they lived in a small apartment. They cleverly thought to send him out on the balcony and have him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...."
Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
A couple wants to have s**... but their son is in the house.
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "q**... " with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities...
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"An ambulance just drove by!"
"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike!"
"Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
"Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced... "The Coopers are having s**....
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.
Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're having s**...?"
"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."
Afternoon s**... when you have kids......
Afternoon s**...
Love what kids come up with...they know so much they are not
given credit for.
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "q**... with
their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on
the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all
the neighborhood activities...
- "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he
shouted.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation:
- "An ambulance just drove by!"
- "Looks like the Anderson s have company," he called out.
- "Matt's riding a new bike!"
- "Looks like the Sanders are moving!"
- "Jason is on his skate board!"
After a few moments he announced...
- "The Coopers are having s**...."
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.
Dad cautiously called out..."How do you know they're
having s**...?"
Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a
Popsicle."
The detectives questioned me for hours as to the whereabouts of the 'Will & Grace" starlet...
People said they'd seen us all over the city, holding hands and kissing.
I told them I had no idea what they were talking about.
"We urge you to cooperate, Mr. Morris. We've got several eyewitnesses who claim they've seen you and Debra Messing around."
Cooper at the end of Interstellar
"You know what I like about space travel, man. They get older, I stay the same age."
I went to the butchers the other day and bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He sai: No, the steaks are too high.
Why God never got a PhD
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
what do bruce jenner and my mini cooper have in common?
they both have t**... issues.
Was at the dentist the other day, he told me to say "ahhhh"
I asked him why, he said his dog died
What every man needs
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, s**... wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
What did the lead singer of The Prodigy say to the guy parking his Mini Cooper?
Back my Smitch Up!
A scientist invents a lie detector
The machine is able to analyse speech patterns and detect lies, beeping whenever it detects a lie. To demonstrate it,he plays it a video of bill clinton, 'I did not have s**... relations with that woman', * beep*.
He takes it to the presidential debates, Hillary says " I am probably the best qualified woman for the job." *beep".
Trump seizes the moment and says " See, she's lying! Crooked Hillary, just like I said." Everyone waits, but there's no beep. Anderson Cooper turns to Trump and says, "Mr. Trump, your response",
Trump says " I think..." *beep*
Sunday Afternoon q**... :D
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon q**... with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
Why is Anderson Cooper's show called 360 degrees?
Cause he's not straight
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon q**... with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt is riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
In the spirit of bipartisanship and cooperation, I think Trump should offer Hillary Clinton an important role in his administration...
Like the ambassadorship to Libya
Interstellar: What did Matthew McConaughey (Cooper) say when he arrived back on Earth?
They grew older, I stayed the same age
Bill,Marla and innocent son
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon q**... with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said.
"An ambulance just drove by."
A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.
"Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...."
Mom and dad shot up in bed.
"How do you know that?" the startled father asked.
"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
You get pulled over by a cop, cooperate and he calls for backup, you now have 3 choices.
1. Stop resisting.
2. "My Leg!!"
3. We're teaching you A lesson!
What did the condescending chef say to its cooperative dish?
"Hey, thanks for being such a dal."
I bet you didn't know this, but gambling brought my family closer.
We had to move into a smaller house.
I got my wife a Mini Cooper for her birthday…
Lord knows why she wants a midget who makes barrels…
Why did the chicken chase sheldon up the tree?
Cos he was a Coop-er
I will show my self out
Brad and Stephanie decided..
..that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon q**... with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and ask him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said.
"An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.
"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.
"Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having s**...."
Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled dad asked. "Their son Charlie is standing out on the balcony too," replied the boy.
Israel and Palestine cooperatively mixed liquids and gases in a test tube today
They were trying out a two state solution
So apparently they found the infamous airplane h**... D.B Cooper
When Alice Cooper goes to the loo
Would it be a Cooper p**...?
Michelle Wolf's Best Joke at the Correspondents' Dinner
Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay.
I tried to get a group of crows together but they wouldn't cooperate.
It was an attempted m**....
What do you get when you cross the host of America's Next Top Model with multiple member-owned financial cooperatives?
Tyra CreditUnions
C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels
Alice Cooper by Poison
While settling Canada...
One of the French outposts refused to cooperate with the others.
It was the rogue fort.
The CEO of a large cooperation was giving advice to a junior executive.
"I was young, married and out of work," he lectured. "I took the last nickel I had and bought an apple. I polished it and sold it for a dime. The next day I bought two apples, polished them and sold them for ten cents each."
"I see," said the junior executive. "You kept reinvesting your money and grew a big business."
"No," said the CEO. "Then my wife's father died and left me a fortune."
China just debuted it's first totally AI news anchor..
At least now Anderson Cooper isn't the only robot we have to watch.
Doctor, I can't pronounce my Fs, my Ts or my Hs.
Well you can't say fairer than that then.
Yeah, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were both phenomenal, but I'm more excited for the upcoming Icelandic remake
A Star Is Björn
Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday
He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.
How do you fit four elephants in a mini-cooper car?
Two in the front. Two in the back. How do you know there's an elephant in your fridge?
You open the door and see an elephant. How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
When the door doesn't quite close. How do you know when there's three elephants in the fridge?
They giggle when the light goes out. How do you know there's four elephants in the fridge?
There's an empty mini-cooper parked in your drive!
A man gets pulled over by the police. When a policeman asks him to show his driving license, he responds "You need to cooperate."
The policeman asks him "What do you mean by "cooperate"?"
The driver replies "Well, last week one of you took my license away, and now you want me to show it!"