Cooler Than Jokes
105 cooler than jokes and hilarious cooler than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cooler than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cooler Than Short Jokes
Short cooler than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cooler than humour may include short colder than jokes also.
- A lot of baking instructions say 425°F But I always do 420° just to make it a little cooler.
- Been going to the gym now for 6 weeks and have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they've fixed the water cooler.
- Bert and Ernie are at the beach on a hot summer's afternoon... Bert pulls out his cooler and opens it up.
"Do you want some ice cream, Ernie?"
"Sure Bert." - What is the difference between a Yurt and an Igloo? One is a warm tent. The other is a little cooler
- My band and I had our first significant gig tonight, but afterwards I realized that it would have been way cooler with a fog machine... It was a huge mist opportunity.
- My mate told me humans can visit the sun at night since it's cooler. What an idiot. We can visit it in winter instead.
- What did Matthew McConaughey say when the waiter asked him if he wanted ice in his water? It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
- I was known as the cool guy until I started bringing drinks and food to parties. Now I'm the cooler guy.
- Some people say that Frieza was the best character in Dragon Ball Z, but... I think his brother was cooler.
- Grandpa wanted his remains to be scattered on a beach when he died. As soon as we started dumping the coolers, people freaked out and called the police on us.
Share These Cooler Than Jokes With Friends
Cooler Than One Liners
Which cooler than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cooler than? I can suggest the ones about cooler and warmer than.
- What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K.
- Whats cooler than OnlyFans? Only Air Conditioners
- If you're hotter than me... Then I guess that makes me cooler than you.
- When someone says they don't believe in global warming Be a lot cooler if you did
- What did the Igneous rock say to the Magma. I'm you but cooler.
- I just got a water cooler for my PC not a fan.
- I like frieza from dragonball But his brother is cooler.
- I sweat less when I wear sunglasses ... Because I feel cooler
- The AC Me : Did you turn on the AC?
Friend : No
Me : It'd be a lot cooler if you did - What's cooler than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
- What's lamer than a lemon but cooler than a cucumber? A radish.
- Why are cats afraid of cucumbers? They dont like anything cooler than they are.
- Do I look like a fan to you? Because you seem so much cooler when I'm around.
- What did the fan say to the ac? You are like me but cooler
- Why was the refrigerator jealous of the mini-fridge? He was a little cooler
Cooler Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cooler than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean its colder than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cooler than pranks.
Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping.
As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, "A cold beer would go down great tonight!" "Indeed," the other nun replies, "but how can we show up with beer at the check-out counter?" "Don't worry, I have a plan," the other nun answers. "Grab a six-pack." The cashier is surprised when he sees the beer, but the one nun is ready with an explanation. "We use the beer to wash our hair" she says. "At the convent, we call it 'Catholic shampoo.'" Without hesitation the cashier bends down, grabs a package of pretzels, and throws it in one of the nuns' groceries bags, saying "The curlers are on the house."
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any p**....
"Is it cooler without p**...?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
What's cooler than Obama?
Snowbama
Bag limit.
A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
...
"What fish?"
Hygienic!
Two girls were walking down the sidewalk on a hot summer day. They come upon this old lady sitting on steps in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice that she wasn`t wearing any p**.... So they ask her if its cooler without wearing any p**....
She said, "I don't know if it's cooler but sure keeps the flies off the watermelon.
I like winter..
..it's cooler than summer
A penguin takes a road trip
A penguin decided to take a road trip. Halfway through, his car breaks down and he gets it towed to the nearest mechanic. The mechanic tells him it will take about 20 minutes to diagnose the problem, so the penguin decides to walk around a bit and check out the small town. It's hot out, and being a penguin, he's used to cooler weather, so he stops and buys himself a huge ice cream cone. He's eating the ice cream as fast as he can as he's walking around, but it's hot out, and a lot of it melted all over his hands and face. 20 minutes go by, and he heads back to the mechanic. When he gets there, the mechanic says "Well, it looks like you blew a seal", and the penguin says "Nah, man, that's just some ice cream"
I was following an ambulance today
Going down the road with the lights on and siren blaring. We were on a highway with a high speed limit so I could keep up without being too close.
The ambulance goes around the curve ahead of us and the back door flings open. A cooler rolls out and lands on the side of the road.
I figured they would have saw it but I pulled over where it landed anyway. I got out and picked the cooler up. A little dented but still closed and intact.
I opened the cooler and found it was full of ice, and what appeared to be someone's severed toe. "Surely they noticed the door open and will come back shortly" I thought.
I waited for an hour and no sign of them so I decided to just give up waiting and call a tow truck.
Three men are in the waiting room while their wives are giving birth.
The doctor comes up to the first man and says that he is now a father of triplets.
The man is thrilled and he says-
"Wow! That's kind of cool because I work at 3M!"
A couple hours later the doctor comes out and tells the next man that he is a father of quadruplets. The man says-
"Wow! That's even cooler because I work at the Four Seasons Hotel!"
The third man immediately starts crying and the doctor asks him whats wrong-
"I work for 20th Century Fox."
One beer can in a cooler says "what's up?" to another.
The other one replied, "Just chilling".
Epic Cooler Prank Best prank ever *must watch*
So my friends and I were having a debate over Mortal Komabt
We concluded Sub-Zero is definitely cooler than scorpion
Off With The p**...
Two neighbor women are taking their weekly walk together, when one of the women begins to complain about the heat.
The other lady states, "I took my p**... off three blocks ago, and now I'm much cooler. You should really try it." "I don't know. That seems kind of weird, but I guess I'll try it" the first lady replied.
After a couple blocks, she confesses that the wind making its way up her skirt is refreshing indeed.
Two blocks later, the women notice another woman sitting on her porch, eating watermelon. The woman is also wearing a skirt, and undoubtedly has no underwear on.
The first lady exclaims "Isn't it so much cooler to sit outside with no p**... on?!" The woman replies "I don't know about being cooler, but it sure keeps the flies away from the watermelon!"
If you're hotter than me...
Does that mean I'm cooler than you?
What do you get when you combine a Frieza and a Cooler?
A refrigerator.
Dad joke I came up with at work.
I work at a grocery store produce department. Today there was some misplaced cheese in a cooler. I saw it was sharp provolone. I took it to the deli lady and once she read it I said "be careful, it's sharp."
Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler
"I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night" one says.
"Oh yeah?" The other responds.
"Yeah, except for the celery."
Refrigerators are really cool...
but freezers are way cooler.
What does a DrugLord and a TimeLord have in common...
They both have two hearts, but one keeps his spare in a cooler.
A bunch of scientists got together one day for a barbecue...
...and were cooking up sausages, but they were one short. They looked in the cooler, the fridge, everywhere they could think to look, but science still has yet to find the missing link.
You know whats cooler than killing two birds with one stone?
Getting two birds s**... at once.
A physicist, a biologist, and a geologist walk into a bar.
The physicist immediately liquors up and attempts to pick up chicks with his top secret details about a new slightly-cooler-than-molten-hot fusion project he's working on.
The biologist attempts to pick up chicks with stories about him working with baby elephants in Thailand.
The geologist says "Ouch".
What's a dogs favourite cooler?
"Paw"m Bay
What's cooler than a pamphlet?
A bro-chure!
I quit my job as CEO at the pc fan factory
They needed a cooler master
Why is AIDS cooler than Forrest Gump?
Because AIDS gets the girl
What's cold and fits in a cooler?
Gary Coleman
Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths?
Because in Japan they're rocksmiths. 🤘
Frieza might be the owner of several hundred planets, and he might be the tyrannical overlord of the universe
But his brother is Cooler
My boss caught me relaxing in the cooler and asked me what I was doing...
Just chillin'.
Jack and Sue
The manager of a company has to make a hard choice, whether or fire Jack or Sue. They are both superb workers, but the company has been running into hard times.
The manager decides that whomever drinks from the cooler first will be laid off the following morning.
Sue, who always comes in bright and early, had a horrible hangover from partying to hard last night, and goes to the fountain to drink some water with her advil.
The manager walks up to her, sighs and tells her, "Sue, I'm sorry. I either have to lay you or j**...."
Turning to face the manager, Sue smiles and says, "Please just j**..., my head is killing me."
"That's the coolest doormat ever!" said my wife. I responded "Cooler than your husband?"
Then she bought it against my wishes
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...
...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-packs.
Why does the Abominable Snowman always wear a diamond necklace?
Cause a yeti's cooler with ice.
I think there is nothing cooler than being a lone wolf.
except for at wolf picnics, when you don't have a partner for the wolf wheelbarrow races.
How do you burn a bucket of water?
Tell it that it would be cooler if it were a bucket of ice.
I went to the store with my wife!
While passing the beer cooler I picked up a case and put it in the cart.
She asked what was I doing and I said "10 dollars is cheap for a case of beer."
She replied, "We can't afford it, put it back."
So I put it back, and a few more Isles down, she picked up a 20 dollar jar of face cream and put it in the cart.
I asked, "How can we afford this?"
She replied, "Because this makes my face pretty."
I said so will a case of beer at half the price.
There's a rumor going around at work that we're getting a new beverage dispenser.
Management hasn't confirmed yet, so it could just be water cooler gossip.
Federal Agents stand around the water cooler and discuss passing the buck on the case where 45 y/o Kevin Easterly abducts 16 y/o Amy Yu across state lines to Mexico.
Never put your wallet in a cooler...
... your credit cards will freeze.
Two men were talking by the water cooler...
One of them says to the other: You know the secretary? I took her to my house yesterday and we were up at it all night. I think she's better then my wife.
The next day the other man goes and says: You know what, you were right. She is better than your wife
A man is standing at the office water cooler...
...Talking animatedly telling his coworker he found that his girlfriend was poking holes in his condoms. He elbows the other guy and says "luckily I found out years ago I'm sterile, really dodged a bullet there."
The other guy scoffs "is it really dodging bullets if you're shooting blanks?"
What did Matthew McConaughey say to me when he found out I made a joke that didn't make the front page?
"It'd be a lot cooler if you did."
What did the paranoid beer cooler say to the bartender?
Are you stocking me!?
Did you hear about the company that turns anything into a miniature refrigeration unit?
They make everything a little cooler.
An Italian, German, and Pollack are walking through the desert
The Italian is carrying a paper bag, the German is carrying a cooler, and the Pollack is carrying a car door.
The Italian looks at the German and asks, "Wern, why are you carrying a cooler?" He replies "In case we get thirsty!"
The German then asks,
"Luigi! Why do you have a paper bag?"
To which he replies "I brought sandwiches in case we get hungry!"
Finally, the German and Italian look over to the Pollack and ask "Hey Aleksander, why are you carrying a car door?
He replies "I brought it so when it gets hot we can roll down the window!"
Whoever coined the term "wet nurse" missed a golden opportunity...
A cooler name would have been utili-t**....
I don't like frieza
His brother is cooler
I'm a saiyan dad. It's like being freiza'a
But cooler
work refrigerator jokes
I'm running out of puns for the office fridge clean out. I used to be cooler.
What's the difference between a Yeti and the Serengeti?
The Serengeti is usually warm, whereas the Yeti is a little cooler.
What did the ice cube say to the glass of water?
I'm cooler than you
An Irishman goes to the pub...
An Irishman was known for going to the pub every day and always ordering three pints of Guinness. One day the bartender asked, "Why do you buy them three at a time? They'd be cooler separately." The man replied, "I have two brothers that moved away overseas. Before they left we pledged to always get a drink for the others." One day however the man walked in and instead only ordered two pints. The bartender, assuming that a brother had died, offered his condolences. The man replied, "Nah, my brothers are alive. I gave up beer for lent but my brothers didn't."
Why are physicists still considered "not" cool...
When Thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?
My boss walks over to my desk as the phone is ringing…
Boss: Why aren't you picking that up??
Me: I pick it up on the third ring, makes me seem cooler.
Boss: PICK IT UP!!
Me: [rolls eyes] fine. 911, what's your emergency?
On his first day at a resort in Greece, George and his wife went down to the beach.
Later when he went back to his room to get something to drink, he found the chambermaid making their bed. He grabbed his cooler and was on his way back out when he stopped at the door and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?"
"Sure." she replied. "Let me finish the rest of the rooms first."
A Priest, Rabbi, and Imam are fishing on a lake
They finish the drinks in the cooler.
Rabbi: "I'll go get some more" and he walks across the water, gets more drinks, and walks back across the water.
They finish the drinks again.
Imam: "It's my turn to get more" and he walks across the water, gets more drinks, and walks back across the water.
They finish the drinks again.
The Rabbi starts to get up, but the Priest stops him.
Priest: "I've seen you both walk across the water. Jesus walked on water and if you two can do it, then I can do it. I'm getting the drinks this time."
He steps over the side of the boat and promptly sinks.
Rabbi to Imam: "Should we have told him where the rocks are?"
Without telling my wife, I bought a gaming pc for my son as a birthday gift. Check out the specs: Intel Core i7 10700K, MSI MPG Z490 Gaming Carbon WiFi, Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Super, G.Skill TridentZ RGB 4x16 DDR4-4000, Samsung 970 Evo 1TB, Corsair RM850x, Cooler Master MasterLiquid ML240R RGB
He is turning one tomorrow.
A young man walks into a convenience store
He opens up the beer cooler and grabs a six pack. An old man standing next to him gives him a look, and the young man says "how much do you want to bet they'll sell me this beer even though I'm not twenty-one?" The old man says "they even check MY ID here. Twenty bucks."
"You're on." The young man says as he walks up to the cashier. Much to the old man's dismay, the young man shows his ID and pays for the beer.
"How? How did they sell you that if you're not twenty-one?" The old man asks.
The young man puts out his hand and says "That's easy, I'm twenty-two."
Police Officer: You are under arrest.
Me: For what?
Police Officer: For going 68 miles per hour.
Me: Fine but can you make the number a little cooler?
Police Officer: Sure.
The Judge: Sir, how did you go -68 miles per hour?
Two guys are forced to share the last beer in the cooler
"You go ahead and have your half first", says the first guy. The other guy says "ok, thanks" and c**... the whole bottle down. "What the h**... was that?!" says the first guy, to which the other replies:
"My half was at the bottom..."
Play it cool...
(Phone ringing)
Boss: Why the h**... aren't you picking that up?
Me: I always answer on the third ring, it makes me seem cooler.
Boss: PICK IT UP!
Me: (rolling eyes) Fine, (picks up phone) 911 what's your emergency.