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Cool Jokes

151 cool jokes and hilarious cool puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cool that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your friends laugh with these cool jokes! Our selection includes the cool jokes for friends, school, and even UFOs. Check out the coolest and chillest jokes around to get a laugh out of anyone!

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Funniest Cool Short Jokes

Short cool jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cool humour may include short awesome jokes also.

  1. If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, you don't.
  2. My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.
  3. I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
  4. I told my wife I'm going cool myself to -273.15 degree C. She has nothing to worry about, I'll be 0K
  5. Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and alien. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
  6. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it... So I did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.
  7. Authorities close investigation on the group of hipsters found dead in a pond last week. Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool.
  8. Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, you don't.
  9. Did y'all hear about the group of hipsters who drowned at the pond? Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool
  10. I am thinking of moving to Switzerland, I hear the social benefits are really great. Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too

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Cool One Liners

Which cool one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cool? I can suggest the ones about nice and interesting.

  1. I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
  2. Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.
  3. Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.
  4. Why did the hipster fall into the lake? He went ice skating before it was cool.
  5. How to be cool A) Use happy sunglasses emoji
    B)
  6. Have you heard about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?? He's 0K now.
  7. Name a vegetable that's kind of cool. Radish
  8. What's cooler than being cool? Being 0K.
  9. How did the Hawaiian hipster die? He walked on lava before it was cool.
  10. My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan.
  11. I hate One Direction fans... Oscillating ones cool down a room much better.
  12. How did the hipster burn his lips? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  13. Why did the hipster drown, when he was iceskating? He was skating before it was cool
  14. How many hipsters does it take to fix a heater? None. They did it before it was cool.
  15. What did the Dorito Farmer say to the other Dorito Farmer? Cool Ranch

I Am So Cool Jokes

Here is a list of funny i am so cool jokes and even better i am so cool puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do hipsters always burn their mouths eating pizza? They got into it before it was cool.
  • Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?
    Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!
  • A propeller is actually just a big fan to keep the pilot cool... when it stops you can watch the pilot start sweating
  • What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer? Cool ranch.
    (Written by my 9 yo daughter).
  • Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool
  • I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold. He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.
    He said he was outside before it was cool.
  • A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"
    "Africa", says the parrot.
  • Green chameleon for sale... No, a red one.
    No, blue.
    No wait, a pink one.
    Cool.
    Never mind, I'm keeping it!
  • Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age.
  • When my child tells me she's thirsty (firsty) I tell her cool I'm secondy. She does not appreciate the joke. Neither does anyone else.

Pretty Cool Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty cool jokes and even better pretty cool puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool. I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.
  • A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
    The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"
  • Getting tired of these people who come to my door, telling me I'm gonna burn unless I'm saved... The flashing lights on their trucks were pretty cool to see, though.
  • Mother told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went for a few drinks, pretty cool guy actually. Wants to be a web developer.
  • If any of you are thinking of getting married, please consider this carefully On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, you don't.
  • This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder... and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?
    The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"
  • I got a new fridge today. It's pretty cool.
  • I once heard that hypothermia Is a pretty cool way to go
  • To the young people on Reddit who are thinking about getting married, here's something to consider. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, …you don't.
  • Marriage if any one on this sub is thinking of getting married soon, please consider this carefully

    on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    >!on the other hand, you don't!<
Cool joke, Marriage

Keeping Cool Jokes

Here is a list of funny keeping cool jokes and even better keeping cool puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My medication says to store it in a cool, dark place. So I keep it in a jazz club in Harlem.
  • Did you know... ...that the prop on the front of a plane is just a big fan to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actully see the pilot sweating.
  • I don't get why women keep complaining about this "glass ceiling" Where I work we have this cool glass floor, though.
  • What is the point of a propeller on a plane? It keeps the pilot cool. If you see it stop, and you will start to see him sweat
  • There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter
  • A man went viral after making a TikTok video describing how to keep cool without any air conditioning. He has a lot of fans.
  • Sports Enthusiasts I got hired by my local baseball team to keep the players cool in the locker room. It was a difficult job because I'm not a fan.
  • TIL the propeller on a plane is a fan to keep the pilot cool When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating!
  • When asked how he keeps his cool under pressure... The bomb squad captain said "either I'm right or it's not my problem anymore."
  • I convinced my son if he didn't try to keep me cool during Summer he wouldn't be written into my will... Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.

Cool Kids Jokes

Here is a list of funny cool kids jokes and even better cool kids puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • According to my kids, dad jokes are not cool... ...for a-parent reasons.
  • So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it.
  • When I was a kid... 'Too cool for school' meant the boiler had broken and we were all sent home.
  • I always thought it was interesting how double jointed kids were always really cool in elementary school... I mean weird flex, but ok.
  • I'm not sure about cryogenics But all the cool kids are doing it.
  • My grandpa was part of the cool kid club when he was younger. Since he was the leader he got a cool nickname: The Grand Wizard
  • I have two kids, they are twelve and ten. What? Their names seemed cool at the time.
  • I buried the Past today ... He was a cool kid. But he should have let me Rob his home peacefully.
  • A divers reached 300 meters under the sea Diver : the pressure here is immense
    Fish : all the cool kids take drugs
    Diver : all the cool kids you say?
  • What transportation do cool kids use? The suhh-way.
Cool joke, What transportation do cool kids use?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cool can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cool puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Cool Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about cool you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cool prank.

So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night...

She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.

A man is taking his son to buy his first car...

The son spots an old, used cop car at one of the lots. "Dad! I want that! It would be so cool! Can I test drive the cop car?" The father replies: "No, son. I want your car to have working turn signals and an accurate speedometer."

A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......

A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

A black man enters a bar...

with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
- That's cool! Where did you get that?
- In Africa, replied the parrot.

The people on the internet are so friendly....

o**... called me bro, and he even said my story was cool.

Two old friends meet in bar...

[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]

And so you came to be.

Two whales are talking. A dad and his boy. The kid asks: Where did I come from? did you make me? - Yes I did! The father said. Wow, that's so cool! Thank You dad! - You're whalecum son.

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."

So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.

I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"

Why do hipsters hate ice skating?

They could never do it before it was cool

How do you make a neato burrito?

With cool beans.

I was chatting with this cute 14 y/o online

She said she was an undercover police officer. How cool for someone her age!

I was flirting with this teenager on the internet...

...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop.
How cool is that for someone her age?

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and drank it

Suddenly he heard a voice...
"Nice tie." *Nobody was there except him and the bartender.*
"Really cool shirt, too." *He thought he must be losing his mind.*
"I like your hair that way."
He said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."
"Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary."

*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"

"How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"
"d**... Dr. Pepper not now!"

FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....

In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."

2 men are sitting on a bench in a park, filled with children. Kids are having fun.

Man 1: "Kids are amazing. Look at them, playing, socializing... so cute!"
Man 2: "Yup."
Man 1: "My Timmy, right over there, likes to play soccer with his friends."
Man 2: "Cool."
Man 1: "Hey, which one is yours?"
Man 2: "Haven't decided yet..."

i**... isn't cool...

I can count at least 17 reasons why on my hands

Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

A Bee on a Fly

(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.

I used to think my autocannibalism made me cool.

Now I realize I was just full of myself.

People always make fun of my dad because his name is Chip and he is a Dorito farmer

You might think that is cheesy but actually we got to grow up on a really cool ranch

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up.

But the bird was cool.

Chad's wife decided to surprise him on his birthday

and to show him that she's a cool wife, she took him to a s**... club.
At the club:
Bouncer: Hi Chad! How you doing tonight?
Wife: How does he know you?
Chad: We play golf together!
Bartender: Evening Chad! The usual?
Wife: And how does he know you?!
Chad: Um, he's on the bowling team!
Hot blonde stripper: Hey s**..., champagne room again tonight?
At this point the wife loses it and storms out of the club, dragging Chad with her, into a taxi.
Taxi driver: Hey Chad! Boy... You picked a fat one tonight huh? Same motel?

I missed class due to hypothermia...

I was too cool for school

Cooling yourself to -273C is completely fine...

If you do, you'll be 0K!

My friend was bragging in a bar about having an o**... at school when he was younger.

It would have been pretty cool, but we knew he was homeschooled.

It's 2018, we need to stop calling things gay just because they are lame.

So what if there are no women at this bar? Most of the guys are really nice and some of them even bought me drinks, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.

How to be cool:

A) Make the sunglasses face
B)

A homeless guy sees a lady about to kill herself.

He walks up to her standing on the edge of a tall bridge and says, hey I know what you're about to do, and I won't pretend to understand or stop you, but before you do, can we please have s**...? It's been a really long time.
She replies, no you sicko!
So he says it's cool. I'll just go wait at the bottom.

My hot flight attendant asked how I like my coffee

Trying to sound cool, I told her I like my coffee like I like my women. And that's when she told me "That's cute honey, but the coffee's free. You don't have to pay for it here!"

How did the hipster drown?

He ice-skated before it was cool.

I once dated a girl, who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut up.

The parrot was cool though.

A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and drank it until suddenly he heard a voice.

Voice: *Nice tie.*
The man looked around. Nobody was there except him and the bartender.
Voice: *Really cool shirt, too.*
The man was concerned. He thought he must be losing his mind.
Voice: *I like your hair like that!*
Finally concerned, the man said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice."
The bartender replied, Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

Made this one up at work today.

There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.
His name was Popsicles.

A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.

It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.
Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. The priest hastily covers his c**..., while the rabbi hides his face behind his hands.
When the ladies have passed, the priest asks:
"Why didn't you cover your private parts?"
To which the rabbi replies:
"Well, MY congregation recognizes me by my face. "

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah that's cool and all, but not really a super power..."
Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "OH. MY. GODDD !!!!"

So a guy and a girl are on a blind date.

The girl says to the guy, So, Gerry, what do you do for a living?
Gerry immediately bends down to pick something up from under the table. He pulls out a stuffed gopher, and shows it to the girl. Oh, yeah, he says, I'm a taxidermist.
The girl replies with Oh, that's cool.
Then the gopher says, And a ventriloquist.

I had a job offer in Newark, but I heard it's dangerous...

So I called a friend of a friend who lives there. He said, "It has a bad reputation, but if you use basic caution and common sense, it can be a fun, vibrant place to live."
I said, "Cool! By the way, what do you do there?"
He said, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."

Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
r>Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the a**..., and walks in to have a stiff drink.

The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. "Why'd ya kiss your horse on the a**... before coming in? You got s**... all over your lips!" The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. "It's 'cuz I got chapped lips." The bartender was even more confused; "Horse manure helps with chapped lips?"
"Nah," says the cowboy. "But it keeps me from lickin' 'em"

2/22/22 may seem cool...

but I was around for 12:34:56 7/8/90

A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar(a joke)

She says,
"Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"
The Russian replies,
"I work for KGB."
"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"
"About me or about you?"

Cool joke, A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar(a joke)

jokes about cool

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cool jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.