cool Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cool puns

If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

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Had sex with my girlfriend a couple days ago..

My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago.

She looked at me and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".

I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

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I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night

It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next

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I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese

made a language entirely out of tattoos.

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Had sex with my girlfriend a few days ago.[NSWF]

She told me to turn the light off and stick it in her butt.

Should've waited for the bulb to cool down first.

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My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it

We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer.

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Why is the hipster sweating?

Because he wore a scarf before it was cool.

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Broke up with my girlfriend today

It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.

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Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.

Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.

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Why did the hipster fall into the lake?

He went ice skating before it was cool.

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Why did the hipster drown?

He went ice Skating before it was cool

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So I've been talking to this cute 14 year old and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop

How fucking cool is that for someone her age?

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How to be cool

A) Use happy sunglasses emoji

B)

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I was in bed last night with my wife

I was in bed last night with my wife. She turns to me and says "If you turn the lamp off, I'll take it up the arse."

I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.

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Name a vegetable that's kind of cool.

Radish

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Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.

On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don't.

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My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it....

We went and had a few drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web developer.

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It's 2018, we need to stop calling things gay just because they are lame.

So what if there are no women at this bar? Most of the guys are really nice and some of them even bought me drinks, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.

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Just found this cool new app that tells you which family members are racist...

Its called Facebook

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Carving a boob from a tree would be pretty cool

Wooden tit?

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Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

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A wheelchair user rides towards a bar.

On his way in he notices a man stood by the door smoking a cig.

The wheelchair user looks at the smoker and says "you do know that there is no reason for doing that at all. It won't make you feel better. It won't help you to fit in. It won't make you look cool."

"Really" says the smoker. "So why the fuck are you wearing those Nike sneakers?"

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Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool?

Don't believe me?

Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!

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A propeller is actually just a big fan to keep the pilot cool...

when it stops you can watch the pilot start sweating

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What's cooler than being cool?

Being 0K.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth while drinking coffee?

Because he drank it before it was cool

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How did the Hawaiian hipster die?

He walked on lava before it was cool.

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*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"

"How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"

"Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"

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I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold.

He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.

He said he was outside before it was cool.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot...

The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"

"Africa", says the parrot.

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My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me

She is not a fan.

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I hate One Direction fans...

Oscillating ones cool down a room much better.

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After sex, a girl once told me I had a small penis. She was cool, though. She never told any of her friends...

She never told anyone. Anything. Ever. Again.

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My wife and I were having sex the other night... [NSFW]

She looked at me with a mischievous smile and said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my butt".

I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

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What are the most funny Cool jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cool? Well, here are the best Cool dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cool pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes