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Cooking Pot Jokes

34 cooking pot jokes and hilarious cooking pot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cooking pot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Cooking Pot Short Jokes

Short cooking pot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cooking pot humour may include short cooking pan jokes also.

  1. I went to the Chinese cooking store and asked where I could find the pots and pans. The store clerk told me "Wok this way."
  2. Why can't harry potter tell the difference between his cooking p**... and his best friend? Because they're both cauldron
  3. Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between a cooking p**... and his best friend? They're both cauldron
  4. You know why I didn't cook alligator for dinner? I only have a croc-p**....
    (Interestingly told to me by my mom, but it's a total dad joke lol)
  5. Cannibal chief: What's your job? Victim (already in cooking p**...): I'm a news editor.
    Cannibal chief: Good news, you'll soon be editor-in-chief.
  6. A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir
  7. I met an Irishman who cooked beans and he would just use exactly 239 beans per p**.... I asked him, why? He said If I added just one more bean, it would be too f**...!
  8. A mother is cooking in her kitchen when... A mother is cooking in her kitchen when she picks up the p**.... A genie comes out of the p**... and says " You have one whisk, use it wisely"
  9. Harry Potter struggles telling his cooking p**... and Best Friend apart... They're both Cauldron!
  10. I tried p**... brownies for the first time yesterday They tasted funny, since you usually cook brownies in a pan instead of a p**....

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Cooking Pot One Liners

Which cooking pot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cooking pot? I can suggest the ones about boiling pot and cooker.

  1. I was going to cook alligator for dinner But then I realized I only have a croc p**...
  2. I was going to cook an alligator today but I remembered that I only had a crock p**...
  3. I was going to cook an alligator for dinner... But realised I only had a croc p**....
  4. How do you cook alligator meat? In a croc p**...!
  5. Confuscius say ... Man who cooks, leaks, and creams in same p**... need a wife.
  6. Why was the cook sad when all the water in his p**... boiled away? Because he mist it.
  7. How do you cook toilet paper? It's easy, you first brown it and then put it into the p**....
  8. The best way to cook soggy onions is... in a p**... with leeks.

Cooking Pot Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about cooking pot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pots and pans jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cooking pot pranks.

A guy walks into a small town bar

A guy walks into his favorite small-town bar and checks out the "Daily Lunch Specials" on the white board. "Alligator is the daily special?" he asks the bartender incredulously. "Where the heck did you learn how to cook alligator?" "Oh, it's easy to make," the bartender assures him. "You just toss it in the Croc p**...."

Bob gets a job at a Japanese restaurant...

In the kitchen he notices all the pots, pans, plates, etc have names stamped on them. His boss says it's for easy identification.
One day the cook asks him to go get a wok. So Bob goes into the back and grabs the first thing he can find that resembles a wok with the name "Peter" in bold letters on the side and brings it to the cook.
The cook looks at it and shakes he head.
"Peter pan! He no wok, he fry!"

A man once entered an asylum

The patients kept jumping shouting"we are popcorn! we are popcorn!" Except for o**... who was sitting quietly in a corner so the man thought that he is the only sane person here and asked him "why don't you jump,shout like your mates?" The guy replied "please leave me alone i stuck to the cooking p**..."

A man lay on his deathbed...

He had maybe a day left to live when he suddenly smelled his wife's prizewinning chili! He dearly loved her chili more than anything else in the world, especially the way his wife cooked them which was known throughout the state of Texas.
With every last bit of energy left in his mind and body, the terminally ill husband pulled himself out of bed, crawled across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. Here, his wife was removing the fresh batch of chili from the stovetop. As he reached with a spoon for a taste from the p**..., his wife smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon.
"Leave it alone, Charlie!" she yelled. It's for the f**...!"

Guy confessing to mother about being Gay

A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer
hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell
you. I'm gay."
His mother made no reply or gave any response,
and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the
p**... she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay,
doesn't that mean that you put other men's
p**... in your mouth?"
He says nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, I do."
His mother went back to stirring the p**..., then suddenly whirled around, and whacked him over the head with a frying pan and said, "Don't you
dare complain about the taste of my cooking ever again!"

Two cannibals are chatting

and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a m**... yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach."
The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?"
The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant p**... of boiling water like always."
The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?"
The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals."
And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."

Battle of the kingdoms

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knght with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a p**... high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high p**... and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

Caught by a local tribe.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a p**..., cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a p**... for me please." The chief gives him a p**..., the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"
And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you s**... cannibal!
(my dad told me this one)