Cookin Jokes

Following is our collection of ovens puns and nothin one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cookin jokes for adults, dirty recipes jokes and clean eatin dad gags for kids.

The Best Cookin Puns

Cooking with French ingredients always makes me depressed.

Yesterday I almost lost the huile d'olive.

My wife's cooking is incredible.

With a silent 'cr'.

My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice.

I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.

What should you do before cooking the vegetables?

Remove the wheelchair

My wife's cooking is so bad

we usually pray after our food.

My cooking is so great....

...that firefighters like to come and watch.

"911 "

"Hello my wife was cookin dinner and she fell" says the husband

"What's the emergency?"

The huband replies " how do I know when the rice is ready?"

I was cooking Chinese food down in Yosemite

... It was a Wok in the park.

Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do

It's just that most people don't have thyme.

When cooking, I sometimes talk to my knife.

I talk to it about my current life situations.

The knife tells me I'm crazy.

It tends to be pretty sharp about these things, so I guess it has a point.

What was the last cooking implement used by Anne Frank?

A Dutch Oven

My wife's cooking is so bad...

She uses the smoke alarm as a timer.

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

Why was the cooking joke not funny?

Because it didn't pan out

My wife's cooking is so bad....

We pray to God after the meal


It's about thyme.

My wife's cooking is so bad…

… we pray after we eat.

I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried.

I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food.

When cooking a turkey,

Don't worry about seasoning it. It's a waste of thyme.

While cooking dinner this happened.

I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." a laugh

My cooking is so awesome...

...even my smoke alarm cheers me on!

I was cooking last night and made a joke about being able to figure out the fractions in my head without cutting one of my fingers off. No one laughed.

Guess I wasn't appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Cooking with Hitler

Step 1. Turn on the gas

My wife's cooking is fit for a King.

"Here King! Here King!"

Cooking is harder than I thought! I ended up with burned eggs on my first attempt

Tip of advice:

don't cook naked

Whats cookin and good lookin? ;)

My Jewish cousin

My cooking skills are so good

My cooking skills are so good, the smoke detectors cheer me on.

"I like cooking up trouble"

Says Miss Chef

I wish my cooking skills were more creative.

What I'm saying is I wish I could cook outside the box.

I would really like to get into cooking and making soups

But it seems like i just dont have any thyme on hand.

Cooking is great

You create something that only lasts a few seconds, but the memory last a lifetime.

Like a stillbirth

Dust pan walks up to the sasage

Am cookin u today!!!!!!!

So I tried cooking yesterday and spilled one of the spices I needed.

What a waste of thyme.

I was cooking dinner, and when I pulled the kielbasa out, I held it up and looked at my wife. I said "don't you wish"?

I should really start feeding her.

"I'm cookin up a storm!"

Grandma said, as the tornado took her and her kitchen up and away

Cooking is like Sex

Sometimes it's Hot and Fast!

Other times it's Slow and Sexy

.. I can't cook

When it comes to cooking herb-crusted fish...

...there's a thyme and a plaice.

There is an abundance of fil jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 37 funniest jokes and cookin puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any cook witze you can hear about cookin.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes