Convulsions Jokes
11 convulsions jokes and hilarious convulsions puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about convulsions that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Convulsions Short Jokes
Short convulsions jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The convulsions humour may include short jokes also.
- I was in a coma... Doctor: he might never wake up from his coma.
Wife: He says he left all his ligma for you in his will
Doctor: what is ligma
*My body starts convulsing* - If a cop enters your home, falls down and begins convulsing.... Is that an unlawful search and seizure?
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Convulsions Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about convulsions you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make convulsions pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last day for your taxes
A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a man convulsing on the ground and jacking off...
...I thought he was having a seizure. Turned out he was just having a s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last year my father had a major s**....
I walked into his room and was mortified as I saw him froth and violently convulse. His personality changed dramatically, he was never the same after being caught m**....
An ambulance was called to a local restaurant this afternoon.
When the paramedics walked in, the saw two men on the floor having seizures. The paramedics split up, each going to one of the men. Suddenly, both men stopped their convulsing. The paramedics asked if they were all right.
"Oh, we're fine. We both have epilepsy, but we don't let it interfere with our work. This always happens when we finalize a job."
"What do you mean."
"I'm a salesman for my company, he's the buyer for his. We just completed the deal, so we had to shake on it..."
A piece of string walks into a bar.
A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
"We don't serve pieces of string in here." says the barman.
The piece of string is distraught so he goes outside and throws himself on the pavement in a fit of rage and starts convulsing on the ground making a right mess of himself.
Afterwards the piece of string feels much better and decides to try the bar again.
"Hey, aren't you that piece of string that was here a few minutes ago?" says the barman angrily.
"No, I'm A frayed knot."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A portrait painter is on his death bed when he asks his son to come close..
He says "Son, I'm dying. So listen closely." He sneezes on the boy's face. "I have a skin rash, dry cough, pink eye, diarrhea, headache, koplik's spots, sensitivity to light, sore t**..., and/or swollen lymph nodes." Then he coughs on the boy's mouth. "So I want you to make sure that your brother gets m'brushes." As he says this he spits in the boy's eye. "Make sure your sister gets m'paintings." He convulses, spilling his bed pan over the boy's chest, before speaking his last words, "I want you to get m'easels."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the doctor for a sore t**.....
The doc looks into his t**..., makes his diagnosis;
doc: " Looks like you have strep. Have you taken penicillin before?"
man: " Yes I have".
doc: " Alright."
The doctor's nurse gives the man penicillin and within minutes, he starts convulsing, having a full body rash and trouble breathing. The doctor runs back into the room and yells at the man
doc: " I ASKED YOU IF YOU'D TAKEN PENICILLIN BEFORE?"
The man replies in a muffled voice: "Yea, and the same thing happened last time too"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 nickles
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son for breakfast. He gives the young boy
3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts
choking, going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping
him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well
dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is
sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At
the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly
folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and
makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the
boy's t**... and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then
ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman hands the nickel to the father and
walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father
rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen
anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce Attorney"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's t**... and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
"No", the woman replied.
"I'm with the I.R.S."