Following is our collection of funniest Convince jokes. There are some convince tempt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these convince impress puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I keep trying to convince my family that Im not a guy, but alas
... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.
In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.
It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German.
This is a joke I came up with.
Q: How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There's no need to change it when you can easily convince everyone that it still works, but they've gone blind.
They're easier to convince.
Try to get a long well.
He said, "Live with me if you want to come."
But I can't convince my wife to go swimming.
He 'incested'.
My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
You can explore convince unconvinced reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean convince saviour dad jokes. There are also convince puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Tell them its almost over
Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing.
Because they all live in de-nile...
making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too.
At least I still convince absolute idiots that change is being made.
To convince women sweeping was a sport.
My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it.
But I just couldn't raisin with her.
I'll see myself out.
All she needed was a shove in the right direction... and a set of stairs.
Are you surebert?
(Come on, it's been 15 years.)
I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts.
If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.
She swears it's just skill.
A guy called me once, told me I had 60 seconds to convince him not to jump off his balcony on the 41st floor.
He must've confused me with the *anti*-suicide hotline.
Fired from the zoo, apparently.
"-Did you know that laughter is second best way to convince a girl to have sex with you ? "
"-Really, what is the first ?"
"-A knife."
"-Hahaha, you're so funny !"
"-Good choice."
But I won't be suede
I just can't convince my wife to go swimming.
Her funeral is on Tuesday.
But I know that it would just slow me down.
It took an hour to convince him he wasn't a bisexual polar bear.
Having to convince two Fathers to let you date her.
A woman threatens her boyfriend :
"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"
- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.
- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.
- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"
Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
Because you can't convince 11 women to wear the same clothes
Which has been a lot easier since the DUI i got the night everyone tried to convince me to 'take a cab home'.
Come c4 yourself.
but I saw right through it.
But that's because only men can convince themselves an inch is the same thing as 100 miles.
If you have to convince other to do it with you then its probably not fun for them
The company that managed to convince people that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
Math: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime. I'll get the rest of them with induction.
Physics: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime, 9 measurement error, 11 prime, 13 prime.
I tested enough numbers.
Programming: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime, 7 prime, 7 prime...
Philosophy: 2 prime, 4 prime, 6 prime
It was really hard, but I managed to resist Pierre pressure.
but it's a lot harder to **deter gents**.
It's somewhat more difficult to deter gents.
Edit; I'll show myself out.
And my wife is trying to convince me it says dyslexia.
A restaurant that managed to convince everyone that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
The other day, he was trying to convince me that coneheaded aliens actually exist.
I admit, I was skeptical at first. But then I saw his point.
But their arguments don't seem to carry much weight.
I had to hand it to him.
Convince Gilligan
My dad insists I get another pair of eyes before I commit.
But as of today, I stand corrected.
Boy was her boyfriend mad when he came home
Boy:- Laughter is the 2nd best method to convince a girl to have sex..
Girl:- What's the 1st one??
Boy:- A Knife.
Girl:- HaHaHa, you're funny..
Boy:- Good choice
I look so much like my fathers.
It must be so much harder to convince the teacher that your dog deleted your homework.
None. Just sit back and do nothing for long enough they will convince it to screw itself.
I convince her to go to the port-a-potties. I ask here how high do you think the floor is off the ground. She says "I don't know, 3 inches?". I seductively ask her if she would like to accompany me in to the port-a-pottie and Join the 3 inch club. She looks at me sarcastically and says......"Oh, I've already joined the 3 inch club!!!" OUCH!
That yesterday someone tried to convince me she was flat
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
There's no f in whey
Those bastards just won't listen.
Just so she could have a titty tat.
I told him it's a bit of a stretch
(Thought of this tonight during yoga)
Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.
the doctors were trying to convince me I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.
If we married a housekeeper, baby sitter, and landscaper, we wouldn't have to pay them.
Because that's the only way to convince people to be happy for a guy to come down their chimney while they slept
Is she a bed and breakfast?
Turns out I lost them on my own accord
Because men have been trying to convince them that 3 inches is 6 inches since the beginning of time.
Sir, come for Ence.
I just made it up after a couple of glasses
It didn't fly.
...and Bob's your uncle.
Xi blinded me with science.
And eventually he came around.
I caught it between the blinks."
Suprised , he asks them what they are doing there .
The man replies that they both are married.
' Then why don't you go home and spend some time there together ? ' the cop asked.
The man replies ' Yeah , but who the hell would convince my wife to allow her ? '
Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.
But he's not believing it and still making fun of me.
Convince them to storm the capitol building
but it's harder to deter gents.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the convince appease jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working convince coax piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.