Following is our collection of unconvinced puns and tempt one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Convince jokes for adults, dirty saviour jokes and clean impress dad gags for kids.
but it's a lot harder to **deter gents**.
A woman threatens her boyfriend :
"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"
- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.
- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.
- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"
There's no f in whey
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
To convince women sweeping was a sport.
(Come on, it's been 15 years.)
And my wife is trying to convince me it says dyslexia.
Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
He said, "Live with me if you want to come."
But that's because only men can convince themselves an inch is the same thing as 100 miles.
the doctors were trying to convince me I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.
My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
I just can't convince my wife to go swimming.
But I just couldn't raisin with her.
I'll see myself out.
Tell them its almost over
Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing.
... and for years, no matter how hard my friends and family tried to convince me, I fought on without prosthetic replacements.
In the end it became just too difficult, so I finally accepted defeat.
Because they all live in de-nile...
A guy called me once, told me I had 60 seconds to convince him not to jump off his balcony on the 41st floor.
He must've confused me with the *anti*-suicide hotline.
Come c4 yourself.
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
Because you can't convince 11 women to wear the same clothes
Luckily his wife managed to convince him that would be completely irrational.
It was to convince the world that Mozart was Austrian and that Hitler in fact was German.
Boy:- Laughter is the 2nd best method to convince a girl to have sex..
Girl:- What's the 1st one??
Boy:- A Knife.
Girl:- HaHaHa, you're funny..
Boy:- Good choice
A restaurant that managed to convince everyone that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
but I saw right through it.
I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts.
If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.
I look so much like my fathers.
But I can't convince my wife to go swimming.
Is she a bed and breakfast?
But their arguments don't seem to carry much weight.
I had to hand it to him.
Are you surebert?
I keep trying to convince my family that Im not a guy, but alas
Turns out I lost them on my own accord
That yesterday someone tried to convince me she was flat
Fired from the zoo, apparently.
All she needed was a shove in the right direction... and a set of stairs.
The company that managed to convince people that eating an entire loaf of bread is healthy.
It was really hard, but I managed to resist Pierre pressure.
Math: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime. I'll get the rest of them with induction.
Physics: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime, 9 measurement error, 11 prime, 13 prime.
I tested enough numbers.
Programming: 3 prime, 5 prime, 7 prime, 7 prime, 7 prime...
Philosophy: 2 prime, 4 prime, 6 prime
Try to get a long well.
Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.
I told him it's a bit of a stretch
(Thought of this tonight during yoga)
"-Did you know that laughter is second best way to convince a girl to have sex with you ? "
"-Really, what is the first ?"
"-A knife."
"-Hahaha, you're so funny !"
"-Good choice."
Those bastards just won't listen.
Because men have been trying to convince them that 3 inches is 6 inches since the beginning of time.
Which has been a lot easier since the DUI i got the night everyone tried to convince me to 'take a cab home'.
Her funeral is on Tuesday.
None. Just sit back and do nothing for long enough they will convince it to screw itself.
I convince her to go to the port-a-potties. I ask here how high do you think the floor is off the ground. She says "I don't know, 3 inches?". I seductively ask her if she would like to accompany me in to the port-a-pottie and Join the 3 inch club. She looks at me sarcastically and says......"Oh, I've already joined the 3 inch club!!!" OUCH!
I caught it between the blinks."
But I know that it would just slow me down.
At least I still convince absolute idiots that change is being made.
making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too.
Xi blinded me with science.
If we married a housekeeper, baby sitter, and landscaper, we wouldn't have to pay them.
It's somewhat more difficult to deter gents.
Edit; I'll show myself out.
And eventually he came around.
...and Bob's your uncle.
Just so she could have a titty tat.
It must be so much harder to convince the teacher that your dog deleted your homework.
Having to convince two Fathers to let you date her.
She swears it's just skill.
This is a joke I came up with.
Q: How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There's no need to change it when you can easily convince everyone that it still works, but they've gone blind.
Suprised , he asks them what they are doing there .
The man replies that they both are married.
' Then why don't you go home and spend some time there together ? ' the cop asked.
The man replies ' Yeah , but who the hell would convince my wife to allow her ? '
I just made it up after a couple of glasses
Sir, come for Ence.
If you have to convince other to do it with you then its probably not fun for them
But I won't be suede
My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it.
It didn't fly.
Because that's the only way to convince people to be happy for a guy to come down their chimney while they slept
Boy was her boyfriend mad when he came home
But as of today, I stand corrected.
My dad insists I get another pair of eyes before I commit.
Convince Gilligan
It took an hour to convince him he wasn't a bisexual polar bear.
He 'incested'.
They're easier to convince.
I told her, No mom, I'm done with life.
It was clique bait
No one understands the gravity of my message
The other day, he was trying to convince me that coneheaded aliens actually exist.
I admit, I was skeptical at first. But then I saw his point.
There is an abundance of appease jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 90 funniest jokes and convince puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any coax witze you can hear about convince.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.