Convictions Jokes

Following is our collection of convict puns and zimbabwean one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Convictions jokes for adults, dirty escaped convict jokes and clean felonious dad gags for kids.

The Best Convictions Puns

A Briton flies into Australia

and is asked by the immigration officer, Do you have any felony convictions?
The Briton replies, Sorry. I didn't realize that was still a requirement.

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, Do you have any felony convictions?

The Englishman replies, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was still a requirement.

They Say "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". Sure enough...

All of these felony convictions are making it awfully hard to get a job.

I wanted to move to Australia for a new job

The immigration officer started asking a few questions.

Officer : What is your name?

Me : Joke Teller.

Officer : How old are you?

Me : 22

Officer : Any criminal convictions?

Me : I didn't know that was still a requirement.

I'm sick of numbers defining who I am.

* My GPA
* My weight
* My 1st degree murder convictions
* My grades
* My SAT scores

These things are not who I am.


Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence?

He had no prior convictions.

A British tourist goes to Australia..

Border agent: do you have any criminal convictions?

Tourist: I didn't know they were still a requirement.

Store Applicant

One day a manager at a grocery store was interviewing applicants to take up a position in his store.

He asks one applicant, "Do you have any experience with stocking?"

The applicant replies, "Yes, actually, I have four convictions for that." 

Why did the idealist go to jail?

He had convictions.

My father had strong convictions.

I guess that's why he did all that time in prison.

Wore an orange suit for the first time today...

I stand by my convictions.


What are Hillary's convictions?

The FBI hasn't announced her indictment yet, but hopefully it will lead to at least one

I didn't know which political party to join so I looked up Republican convictions.

Turns out they've had 91 since 1970.

People say I have the heart of a lion

What they don't realize is I also have a number of convictions and a lifetime ban from the Philadelphia Zoo.

I'm a man of strong convictions.

The District Attorney in this town is pretty good.

There is an abundance of verdict jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes and convictions puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sentence witze you can hear about convictions.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes