Conviction Jokes

Following is our collection of accusations puns and commit one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Conviction jokes for adults, dirty misdemeanor jokes and clean escaped convict dad gags for kids.

The Best Conviction Puns

Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

After his recent conviction for rape, two schools stripped their honorary PhD's from Bill Cosby...

It's ok though, Michigan State just gave him another one.

I know federal prosecutors have a 99% conviction rate. But I'm a little nervous.

Because Trump picked his cabinet from the 1%.

Did you hear the one about the woman who climaxed upon learning that her conviction was overturned?

She got off on a technicality.

Felons would be a really valuable voting base...

After all, we know they have conviction.


My neighbors tried to have me charged with disturbing the peace, claiming I incessantly sing Culture Club at all hours of the night. The judge threw out the case of course, so I guess you could say that,

I'm a man, without conviction.

Make sure to dress extra provocative if you ever find yourself in a 5th attempt to overturn a criminal conviction

You'll definitely need that six appeal.

What are Hillary's convictions?

The FBI hasn't announced her indictment yet, but hopefully it will lead to at least one

How does a convict say his last words?

With *conviction*.

Did you hear about the high profile conviction of a Cardinal in Australia?

Neither did I...

Why do Harlem trials never result in a conviction?

Because they always end up with a hung jury.


Make sure to dress provocatively if you're ever granted a 5th chance to overturn your criminal conviction.

Because you definitely will need that six appeal.

My dad is terribly racist.

He has no conviction.

What did Cardinal Pell say when the Australian Judge asked why his conviction should be suppressed?

He whispered "it will be our little secret".

There is an abundance of judge jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes and conviction puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any judgement witze you can hear about conviction.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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