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Conviction Jokes

31 conviction jokes and hilarious conviction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conviction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Conviction Jokes

Short conviction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conviction humour may include short convicted jokes also.

  1. A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
  2. A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, Do you have any felony convictions?
    The Briton replies, Sorry. I didn't realize that was still a requirement.
  3. They Say "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life". Sure enough... All of these felony convictions are making it awfully hard to get a job.
  4. what's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir,
    this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy
  5. I wanted to visit Australia So I went to the embassy to get a visa.
    The woman behind the counter asked if I'd been convicted of a crime.
    I told her I didn't know that was still necessary.
  6. Less time in prison than he deserved why did the convict get? Because the sentence got mixed up.
  7. The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.
  8. Did you hear about the Olympic gymnast that was a convicted felon? He was always known for some assaults
  9. What do you call a convicted felon on an escalator? I'm not sure, but I think it's con descending
  10. Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL. But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

Quick Jump To


Conviction joke, Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about conviction can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of conviction puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Conviction One Liners

Which conviction one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conviction? I can suggest the ones about confession and convinced.

  1. Mayweather still has a perfect record At least until he's convicted
  2. What did the convicted cannibal choose for his last meal? Five guys
  3. If Fetty Wap is ever convicted of a crime... He could change his name to ConFetty.
  4. My wife and I were convicted of paedophilia The kids are taking it pretty hard.
  5. What do you call a rude convict going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
  6. What did it cost the state to give the convicted cannibal his last meal? An arm and a leg
  7. News just in: Two men have been convicted of stealing a calendar They both got 6 months
  8. Why did the agnostic receive a lighter sentence? He had no prior convictions.
  9. Where does light go when it is convicted of a crime? Prism
  10. Why was the electrochemical cell arrested? Because he was convicted of battery.
  11. Why is it so hard to convict a mute person in court? Its always your word against mime.
  12. Did you hear about the wrongly-convicted banana? Don't worry, he's okay. He won on appeal
  13. Why did Bobby Shmurda go to jail? He was convicted with second degree shmurder
  14. What drink can wrongly convict a black man? Tequila Mockingbird
  15. Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes? It would only admit one.

Conviction Overturned Jokes

Here is a list of funny conviction overturned jokes and even better conviction overturned puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear the one about the woman who climaxed upon learning that her conviction was overturned? She got off on a technicality.
  • Make sure to dress extra provocative if you ever find yourself in a 5th attempt to overturn a criminal conviction You'll definitely need that six appeal.
  • Make sure to dress provocatively if you're ever granted a 5th chance to overturn your criminal conviction. Because you definitely will need that six appeal.
Conviction joke, Make sure to dress provocatively if you're ever granted a 5th chance to overturn your criminal convi

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Conviction Jokes

What funny jokes about conviction you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean verdict jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make conviction prank.

What do you call a cop who gets convicted of m**...?

A good start.

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, Do you have any felony convictions?
The Englishman replies, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was still a requirement.

A guy gets taken to his cell on his first day of prison...

...he meets his cellmate for the first time, a huge hulk of a man, who turns to him and says, 'We're gonna play a game, a game of mommies and daddies... Do you wanna be the mommy or the daddy?'
The new convict relunctantly replies, 'I guess I'll, ...I'll be the, ...the daddy?...'
The inmate smiles and says 'Fantastic! ...Now come over here and s**... mommy's c**...'.

An identity thief and a r**... get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the r**... in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

A British man is visiting Australia for vacation.

The passport lady at Australian customs asks him, "Have you been convicted of any crimes in the past?"
The Brit replies by asking, "Is it still a requirement?"

Manafort and Cohen flip on the President. Trump is convicted of treason. He is 'hung by the neck until dead.' Miraculously, minutes after his hanging, he walks out of the gallows and addresses the press:

"Fake noose, folks."

A priests asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?

A priests asks the convicted m**... at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?  
"Yes," replies the m**.... "Can you please hold my hand?"

A man committed a m**..., and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewalk.

He was easily convicted. There was concrete evidence

Conviction joke, A man committed a m**..., and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewa

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these conviction jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.