Converted Christianity Jokes
38 converted christianity jokes and hilarious converted christianity puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about converted christianity that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Converted Christianity Short Jokes
Short converted christianity jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The converted christianity humour may include short bible christianity jokes also.
- Same problem A Jewish guy converts to Christianity. His distraught father prays, "Oh God, my son converted to Christianity! What should I do?"
God says, "You know, I had that same problem..." - Why did the Christian convert quit his job at the sewer company? Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.
- Jewish Joke About Warm Weather אחי היה לי כלכך חם שהבטחתי שאם יציעו לי להתנצר בזה הרגע אני אעשה את זה רק בשביל ההטבלה.
Dude. It was so hot, I swear that I'd convert to Christianity for the Baptism. - My Jewish grandma told me this one An Orthodox Jew is praying to god:
"God! I need help, my son converted to Christianity!"
God says: "don't worry, that happens to everyone. Even to me!" - A Jewish man had a son, who converted to Christianity. The man prayed to God, "Oh Lord, my son has converted to Christianity! What should I do?"
And God replied, "Yours too?" - "I used to be a Christian" The girl said. The boy chuckled "that's fine what made you Convert?"
The girl turned and said "I feel more like a Christina than a Christian" - I'm an atheist, but I plan on converting to Christianity on my deathbed. I figure better safe than sorry. I don't want to end up in h**... with the Evangelicals.
- A lion is about to eat a goat The goat says, "Please spare me and convert to christianity."
The lion says, "Goat to h**...!"
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Converted Christianity One Liners
Which converted christianity one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with converted christianity? I can suggest the ones about christianity holy and converted islam.
- What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car? A convertible.
- Which Software do the christians like the most ? The Converters kind of software.
- Rabbi Shultz converted to Christianity...
- What do you call problems that Christians can't convert? Intractable.
- What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism? A Christian bail.
Entertaining Converted Christianity Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about converted christianity you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christian jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make converted christianity pranks.
Two Jewish guys are walking down the street...
Two jewish guys are walking down the street when they spot a sign outside a church: "Today Only: Convert to Christianity and we will give you 100 bucks cash!"
"I'm gonna do it," o**... tells the other and disappears through the church door.
5 minutes later he's back. "Well, Did you get the cash?" his buddy asks.
"Jeez Is that all you people think about?" comes the friend's reply.
A pastor goes hiking
as he comes around a corner on the trail he comes across a giant grizzly bear. The bear lets out a growl and is about to charge when the pastor falls on his knees and prays: "Lord, I pray that the bear would be a Christian." In an amazing miracle, the bear is converted instantly and stops where it is. It looks upwards and begins to give thanks: "Thank you Father, for the meal I am about to eat..."
A Jewish man goes to his rabbi for help
"Rabbi, what should I do?" he asks. "My son just converted to Christianity."
"I'm not sure," the rabbi replied. "Let me ask God. Come back tomorrow."
The man goes back the next day. "Sorry," the rabbi said. "God told me He has the same problem."
4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion!
4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion. As they run, they cry out to God yelling, "PLEASE LORD! CONVERT THIS LION TO BE A CHRISTIAN LION!"
They run until they reach a dead end.
They hungry lion approaches slowly, as they cry out louder:
"PLEASE LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND CONVERT HIM!"
They lion stops walking, and the monks praise God.
The lion kneels down, puts his paws together and says:
"Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive through thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen."
An atheist comes into a mall
And there is no parking spot, so he says "God, if you give me parking spot, I will convert myself and become Christian".
Two minutes later he says "Nevermind I found one"
An old friend told me this...
Three middle aged jewish men are sitting around one afternoon. The first one says, "Oy, I sent my son to Jerusalem and you'll never believe what he did. He came back as an atheist!" The second man says, "Oy, I sent my son to Jerusalem and you'll never believe what he did. He married a Christian!" The third man without missing a beat says, "Oy, I sent my son to Jerusalem and you'll never believe what he did, he converted to Christianity!" All of a sudden they hear the voice of God and He says, "Oy, that's nothing! I sent my son to Jerusalem and you'll never believe what he did..."
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn
A Jewish businessman in Brooklyn decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland.
When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. Oh, and by the way, I converted to Christianity."
"Oh, my," said the father. What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his old friend Jacob what to do.
Jake said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the rabbi.
The rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people?
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.
Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven.
The Voice said, "Funny you should ask. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...
A 90 year old Holocaust survivor told me this joke.
Two Jewish guys are walking wehn one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says ‟Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100.
The one says to the other, ‟should we do it?? The other says ‟NO!! Are you crazy? The first guy replies ‟Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I am gonna do it. So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out. The friend says ‟well, did you get the money? He replies ‟Oh that's all you people think about, is not it??
Two Jews walk by a Christian church. . .
There is a sign on the door that says, "convert to Christianity and receive $100". One of them speaks up and says, "I'm going in." His friend says "you're really going to change religions for $100?"
"A $100 is a $100, I'm doing it!" And he walks inside.
A few minutes later he walks back out and his friend says, "Well? Did you get the money?"
He replies, "Oh, that's all you people think about isn't it?"
A Rabbi, A pundit and a Priest
A rabbi, a pundit and a priest once decided to put their skills to the test,
so they challenged each other...the challenge was who could convert a bear
They all met a few days later.....the pundit n priest were ok but the rabbi was in a full body cast...
so started the pundit...guess what...I read the gita to the bear....n now he is a pious hindu
The priest says...guess what, I read the bible to my bear....it brought tears to his eyes...he immediately had himself baptised now he is a devout christian....
Finally the Rabbi mutters....."shouldve left the circumcision for later"
Jewish Joke
Old Jewish man on his death bed requests a priest. His family not understand why complies and requests a priest who on arrival is told by the old man that he wishes to convert to Christianity. The family is in disbelief and once the father has left asks the old man why? His replies "well if anyone has to die I would rather it be one of them".
Three men are in a bar
Three men are in a bar, talking about the Red Sox. "I think they'll win it all this year," said the first man. "No way, the Yankees are too good", said the second man. "Well, I've converted to several versions of Christianity and still belong to all of them!" declared the third man, before walking off.
"That was a strange guy," said the first man. "No," said the second man, "that was just a non-sect-quitter."
A Jewish man's son comes home and says he's converted to Christianity
He's shocked and goes to his friends house only to find out that his son has also converted to Christianity. They get worried and go to their rabbi. To their amazement he turns around and says his son also converted to Christianity. They are all scared now so turn to god. God comes down and listens to their story and says " you guys won't believe this.. "
A Jewish man goes to speak to his Rabbi...
He says, "Rabbi, you'll never guess what happened to me! My son converted to Christianity."
The Rabbi responds, "*You'll* never guess what happened to *me*! My son converted to Christianity too. Let's pray to God, maybe He'll have an answer for us."
After some prayers, God responds to them: "You'll never guess what happened to ME!"
A Jewish man and a Christian man are on a plane
On this plane, they have a debate about which religion is more valid. Neither manages to convince the other, but it was a nice friendly conversation. Suddenly, the plane starts to smoke, and ends up crashing in the ocean. Once they're on the safety raft, and the Christian sees the Jewish man cross himself. He says "Hey! I just say you cross yourself! Did I manage to convert you to my religion on the plane?" the Jewish man replies "No no no no no. Spectacles, t**..., wallet, and watch"
An old Jewish mother complains to her friend, "My son Joey converted to Christianity."
Her friend says, "My God, my Eddy also converted! What can we do about it?"
The first woman responds, "The only thing we can do is pray."
So, the two of them head to the synagogue, where they sit down with prayer books and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. After a few minutes, they hear a booming voice coming out of nowhere.
"How am I supposed to help?" God says, irritated. "My son converted to Christianity too!"
A Priest Visits an Eskimo
One day a priest decided to spread the good word of Jesus to the frozen wastes of the far north. He found an Eskimo huddled up in his cozy igloo trying to stay warm. The priest invited himself in and began to teach the Eskimo about the word of God. A few hours later, the priest felt that the stories of all the miracles made by Jesus and of eternal life in heaven would be sufficient enough to convert the Eskimo to Christianity. The Eskimo, remaining silent all this time, said "So is it true that those who do not know of God and of sin will still find eternal life in heaven?" The priest, eager to get a response out of the Eskimo, responded "Why, of course! God would never abandon his lost children!" The Eskimo, becoming irritated by this intruder, retorted, "Then why did you tell me?!"
In Lebanon, a christian man falls in love with a muslim woman...
Her parents won't allow him to marry her unless he converts to islam. The man goes to see the sheikh and is told that he has to circumcise. He reluctantly agrees and gets married.
A month later, the man is walking down Hamra street, with a gold chain around his neck attached to a crucifix on his chest. The sheikh sees him and the crucifix and stops him to say: "My son what are you doing? you are a muslim now. why are you wearing that cross on your chest?".
The man looks at him and says: "Well you know sheikh, I thought that with the country being unstable, if I were to get killed and I go up to heaven and find that Jesus is there, I would unbutton my shirt and show him the crucifix. He might be merciful and allow me in".
The sheikh is quiet for a while, then he asks: "But my son, what would happen if you find that Muhammad is up there?".
The man says: "I will unbutton my trousers and show him my..."
Avi goes to his rabbi (stop me if this has been posted before; I'm not a subscriber)...
Avi goes to his rabbi and says, "Rabbi Gershenson, I'm at the end of my rope! I have taught my son well, taken him to temple every Sabbath unless he was gravely ill, sent him to yeshiva, yet he tells me that he wants to convert to Christianity. What should I do?"
The rabbi replies, "You're asking me?! Avi, I taught my son well, I took him to temple every Sabbath, I sent him to yeshiva, and still he told me that he wanted to convert."
Avi says, "Rabbi, what did you do?"
Rabbi Gershenson says, "I asked *HaShem* for guidance."
Avi asks, "And what did the Lord say?"
Rabbi Gershenson replies, "He said, '**You're asking ME?!**'"
A priest was hunting in the woods.
He searches and searches but can't find any animals. Finally in frustration he throws his gun down and heads to the stream to cool off. About this time he sees this huge grizzly bear racing toward him.
He falls on his knees and says, 'God please, protect me. I am asking you God, please convert this bear into a Christian.'
Miraculously, the bear freezes in his tracks, puts both paws toward heaven and says, 'Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.'