Convert Jokes
113 convert jokes and hilarious convert puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about convert that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Convert Short Jokes
Short convert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The convert humour may include short conversion jokes also.
- Why will the American people never convert to the metric system? Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.
- I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system! It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.
- Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"
- Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible? He was having a midlife crisis.
- Why do convertible owners drive with the top down in rainstorms? So they can use the car pool lane.
- Always Wanted to get Married My daughter always dreamed of getting married when she was a little girl.
So we converted to Islam. - Do you remember Buckwheat from the little rascals? He recently converted to Islam. And became Kareem of Wheat.
- Before he died, my grandfather's last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond. That's a lot of pressure.
- Always leave the top down in a convertible, even in the rain Worst case scenario, you get to use the car pool lane.
- A science teacher was teaching his students how to convert from pounds to kilograms. There was mass confusion in the classroom.
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Convert One Liners
Which convert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with convert? I can suggest the ones about transform and format.
- What's the most important part of the Popemobile? The catholytic converter.
- America is converting to metric units... inch by inch.
- I just found out I'm a millionaire! I converted my paycheck to rubles.
- What do you call a Mexican girl who converts to Islam? dora the Exploder
- What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car? A convertible.
- What do Missionaries drive? Convertibles.
- Why did Waldo convert to Buddhism? He found himself.
- Which car part would Mother Theresa be? A Catholitic Converter
- How do you convert Spanish programming into English? Yes++
- Why did the man convert to Mormonism? Because he wanted to have his Kate, and Edith, too!
- Eminem has decided to convert to Islam. He's now known as Muslim Shady.
- Joel Osteen is converting more people each day to followers. The people are flooding in.
- I aced the convert-to-Islam test today. I answered "allah the above"
- Here's a simple way of converting an atheist to a theist. Just give them a little space.
- What do you call a surrealist painter that converts to Islam? Muhammad Dali
Fun-Filled Convert Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about convert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean changer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make convert pranks.
An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.
This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message of christ, and was able to convert him, spraying him with water saying, "you were born sick, you were raised sick, but now you are CHRISTIAN!". The idiots neighbors left him alone thinking that was that, but come Friday, and he's still grilling chicken when he should be abstaining. So they began to spy on him to see how he could justify such an act, and they saw him spritz his chicken with holy water, saying "you were born chicken, you were raised chicken, but now, you are FISH!"
idk if this is a repost, but my dad told me this joke as a kid, and I thought it was funny.
A priest, a Baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar
A priest, a baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar and start getting sloshed.
They decide that they need to test their faith to see which one is the best. They decide the ultimate challenge is to see if they can convert a bear.
So the next day they all go out into the wood to try and meet up again at the bar that night.
The priest comes in with a broken arm and scratches all over his body and smilingly says: "I had to run around the bear and read him the entire Bible but he saw the light and he was converted."
The baptist is on crutches with two broken legs and a broken arm and his head all bandaged. He says: "I had to wrestle that bear to the ground and baptize him in the stream but he saw the light and he was converted, hallelujah!"
Then the Rabbi gets wheeled in in a full body cast. He says: "Ya know, in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have started with circumcision."
What religion are bears?
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
Converting Units:
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are at a bar.
They are arguing over who is the best at what they do. So they decide that to prove who is the best, they will go on their own into the woods and convert a bear to their respective religion. A week later, they are again at the bar. The priest say, "I saw a bear by the river and started talking to him about the Lord's word. He liked so much that he now comes to mass every week." The pastor says, "Well, I found a bear in a clearing. I started reading the bible to him. He loved it so much that he is now going to be baptized in about a week." The priest and the pastor turn to the rabbi, who has a broken arm, a collar, and several bruises. He says, "You know what, looking back, maybe I shouldn't have had started with circumcision."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Three Nuns
One day, three nuns decided to disobey their rules and walk around the convert n**.... Because the convert was visible from a road, they decided to close the blinds so no one would see them. The blinds were slightly broken so there was a single opening. the nuns decided to have one of the nuns keep watch while the other two went about their day. Later that day, a man started walking up the sidewalk to the convert. the nun on watched yelled to the others to hide. The man walked up to the window and called out to see if anyone was there. One of the nuns piped up and sayed she was, and asked what he needed. The man said that he was a blind man, looking for work. The nuns whispered to themselves, and agreed that since he was blind, they could let him in to help him. So the first nun opeded the door, still completely n**... along with the other two nuns. When the door opened, the man recoiled back in surprise. "why did you answer the door completely n**...?" he asked. Then nun was taken aback, " i thought you said you were blind!"
The man said "no, i am a BLINDS man, and i came to fix your blinds!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priests a Rabbi and a Minister are in a coffee shop...
...They start comparing the powers of their religion. They decide to test themselves by agreeing that they will all go into the woods to convert a bear and meet back in a week. A week passes and the priest and minister arrive first. The priest says that he converted a bear by showing him the miracle of communion. The minister said that he converted another bear by showing him the holy Scripture and reading from it. They wait a long time for the Rabbi and just as they are about to leave he arrives in a wheelchair covered in casts and bandages. They ask him what happened and he replied saying "I never should have started with the circumcision."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So two couples want to convert to Catholicism...
There are two couples that want to convert to Catholicism. They go and see a priest and he tells them that the first requirement is to abstain from s**... for thirty days.
Thirty days later, the couples come back to see the priest. He asks the first couple if they passed the test.
"Father, we didn't so much as TOUCH one another during the last month.
"Congratulations," the priest replies, "you are now qualified to enter the Church." Then, the priests asked the second couple how they did.
"Well, Father," the husband says, "everything was going just fine until the 27th day. My wife bent over the freezer to get something out, and I just happened to notice that she didn't have any p**... on. I couldn't stand it any more, so I walked over to her, dropped my pants, and slipped it to her right there."
"That's DISGUSTING!", the priest bellows. "I can never let you into the Church after something like that."
"I understand Father," the man replies sadly, "they won't let us into Walmart anymore either."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Preacher
A preacher is making his weekly rounds to people's houses, trying to get them to convert. He reaches one home in the afternoon, and rings the doorbell. He distinctively hears someone inside, but no one comes to answer the door, so after waiting a few minutes of knocking and asking if anyone was home, he takes out his business card and writes "Revelations 3:20" down and puts it on the doormat.
A few weeks later, after church service, an usher hands him the same business card, only this time, under "Revelations 3:20," there is another verse, "Genesis 3:10."
Here is what each of them says:
Revelations 3:20: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10: "I heard you in the garden and I did not answer, for I was n**...."
A priest a minister and a rabbi...
All were trying to see who was the best at their job. They decided to go to the woods find a bear and convert it. One week later they all came back with their stories the pries went first and said well when I went out into the woods I found a bear and I gave him communion and now he's a regular church goer." The minister said he found his by the stream and baptized him and now he goes to my church frequently." When the rabbis turn came he was in a wheelchair with a full body cast and he said maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision"
Convert Today! Earn $5000.
(More Jewish inspired jokes)
These two rabbis are walking down the street. As they're walking, they pass a church with a large banner hanging above them that says across it:
CONVERT TODAY! EARN $5000.
The rabbis are perplexed by this. There is no way that this could be the real deal. They discuss and discuss some more. One rabbi finally decides he's going in and getting to the bottom of it.
A lot of time passes. The rabbi outside is starting to get worried. More time passes. The rabbi becomes more and more worried. Is it possible they're keeping him prisoner? Has he been killed? Or worse, are they force feeding him communion wafers??
The other rabbi finally comes outside. He seems altogether content with himself, and looks completely unharmed.
The rabbi that has waited so long is comforted by this, calms down, and asks the other rabbi, "So. Did you get the money?"
The other rabbi turns to him and says:
"Heh! You Jews and your money."
A Priest, Minister and Rabbi Try to Convert a Bear
A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:
When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
A priest was hunting in the woods.
He searches and searches but can't find any animals. Finally in frustration he throws his gun down and heads to the stream to cool off. About this time he sees this huge grizzly bear racing toward him.
He falls on his knees and says, 'God please, protect me. I am asking you God, please convert this bear into a Christian.'
Miraculously, the bear freezes in his tracks, puts both paws toward heaven and says, 'Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?
They use a machine gun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A religious traitor
Son: Dad, what's a religious traitor?
Father: A person who leaves our church and joins another.
Son: And what is a person who leaves another church and joins ours?
Father: A convert, son, a blessed convert.
A rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a Protestant minister are talking in a bar.
They bet each other that they can convert a bear to their religion. At dawn the next day, they meet at the edge of the forest and wish each other luck before setting out. At the end of the day, they meet each other again on three separate stretchers. The priest is all beat up. He has a broken arm and a black eye. "The bear put up a good fight", he says, "but he's coming to church on Sunday to get baptised". The minister is in worse shape than the priest. He has two black eyes, a broken arm, and a broken leg. "It was tough," he says, "but I got the bear to join the church choir, singing baritone." The rabbi is in the worst shape of the three of them. He has two black eyes and all his arms and legs are broken. "In hindsight," he says, "I guess I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Avi goes to his rabbi (stop me if this has been posted before; I'm not a subscriber)...
Avi goes to his rabbi and says, "Rabbi Gershenson, I'm at the end of my rope! I have taught my son well, taken him to temple every Sabbath unless he was gravely ill, sent him to yeshiva, yet he tells me that he wants to convert to Christianity. What should I do?"
The rabbi replies, "You're asking me?! Avi, I taught my son well, I took him to temple every Sabbath, I sent him to yeshiva, and still he told me that he wanted to convert."
Avi says, "Rabbi, what did you do?"
Rabbi Gershenson says, "I asked *HaShem* for guidance."
Avi asks, "And what did the Lord say?"
Rabbi Gershenson replies, "He said, '**You're asking ME?!**'"
[NEWS] Drug company issuing recall under FDA pressure after several women claim drug made them convert to Catholicism
The makers of the drug continue to insist that it's non habit-forming.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS?
They really scared the Shiite outa me!
A Rabbi, A Preacher and A Muslim leader get together to see whose religion is real
To prove whose religion is the real one they all decide that whoever can convert a bear to their respective beliefs will have the one true God. So they all go to the forest and agree to meet back at the end of the day to share their results. The Muslim leader and Preacher get back at the same time and the leader says that he didnt get far and that he might need more time, and the preacher says he got about as far. They wait for the Rabbi, when all of a sudden he burst from bushes sweating and out of breath. They asked what happened and he said "I probably shouldn't have started with circumcision!"
What religion did the french saucier convert to?
Au jusdaism
The fastest way to convert from centimeters to meters...
Just remove the first 5 letters.
Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic:
If nature has given you "lemons"
we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Missionaries...
Two missionaries were ascending a hill in an expedition to convert the hostile unreached jungle inhabitants.
Since very few had ever returned alive from the unfriendly summit very little was known. The two agreed that the best way to win them over was with gifts from their food provisions.
They reached a pass where only one was able to ascend at a time. As the first man cleared the pass, he was immediately set upon by the natives. They took his large pack, pulled the large bunch of bananas out, and distributed them amongst themselves.
The natives began a strange ritual that involved shoving the bananas into their rectums and dancing about in a manner similar to the Māori Haka.
At first, the m**... was horrified by what he saw but he started to giggle and then broke into an hysterical cackle.
The dancings stopped and the leader said, "Why you laugh?"
The m**... said, "my friend is coming with pineapples!"
With all the blizzard news here's a winter joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower?
You give her a shovel!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sexist Joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give her a shovel.
How do you make all the terrorists in one room convert to rationalism.
Air condition the room.
How to convert QT3.14 into GF format?
Sorry, this option is not available in Beta version.
Beings from another world abducted me last night and tried to convert me to Anglicanism.
I guess they were Episcopaliens.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a seagull explode?
Convert it to islam
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't Jonah convert the Ninevites?
Because he was too inefficient.
I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism.
But I decided it would be pointless.
Jewish Joke About Warm Weather
אחי היה לי כלכך חם שהבטחתי שאם יציעו לי להתנצר בזה הרגע אני אעשה את זה רק בשביל ההטבלה.
Dude. It was so hot, I swear that I'd convert to Christianity for the Baptism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Convert today! $5000
Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.
"What happened that took forever?"
"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."
"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"
"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"
A priest, a minister and a rabbi went to see...
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see which one is best at his job.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see which one is best at their job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:
When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
How much does a dollar bill weigh?
Depends on how you convert it into pounds
What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140?
Convert to kilograms.
I tried to convert to Judaism, but they rejected me when they found out I was uncircumcised.
I guess I just didn't make the cut.
How do you a convert a number to a radical?
You convert it to Islam.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Jews walking down the street
Two Jews are taking an afternoon stroll. As they pass St. Joseph's Cathedral they notice a sign posted on the front door.
**CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM
GET $50!**
"$50!!," exclaims David. "What a great deal, we can just convert back after!"
"Hold your horses," says Aaron. "It could be a scam, tell you what, I will go and do it, we'll see if this deal is real."
Aaron goes into the cathedral and David waits outside.
Finally, after an hour passes, Aaron comes out of the cathedral.
"So? Was it a scam? Did you get the $50??," asks David.
Aaron replies, "Is it always about the money with you people?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jewish Joke
Old Jewish man on his death bed requests a priest. His family not understand why complies and requests a priest who on arrival is told by the old man that he wishes to convert to Christianity. The family is in disbelief and once the father has left asks the old man why? His replies "well if anyone has to die I would rather it be one of them".
I'm converting to Islam
for my haram bae
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and the bear
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the
circumcision.
Teacher and Student
* Teacher said the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
* Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is "I will go to jail"!
A Priest, a Minister, a Rabbi and a Bear
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who is best at his job. So each one goes into the woods to find a bear and try to convert it.
Later, they all get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion."
The minister says: "I found a bear by the stream and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerised that he let me baptise him."
They both look down to the rabbi, who is lying on a stretcher in a full body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I should not have started with the circumcision."
A rabbi is on his deathbed...
...and a friend asks him if he has any last requests. The Rabbi asks his friend to find him a Catholic priest, so that he might convert.
Confused, his friend asks, "Rabbi, why? You have been a great teacher and leader of your followers, and you have led a good and honorable Jewish life. Why would you want to become a Catholic now, before you die?"
He says, "Eh, better one of them than one of us."
Bear Conversion
A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they agree to each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it.
Later they get together to compare results. The priest begins:
When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.
Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The pollen count is so high
m**... users are trying to convert their m**... back to Sudafed
A priest tells a gay guy, "If you need to talk, come by some time. I will not try to convert you"
"You aswell!"
Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.
But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.
What do you call problems that Christians can't convert?
Intractable.
I decided to convert from degrees to radians.
My math teacher was surprised at the π.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you convert a one car garage into a two car garage?
Time, patience, and lots of l**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde got tired of hearing "dumb blonde" jokes.
A blonde woman decided that she was sick and tired of white men assuming she was s**... and easy because of her hair. She decided to buy a Muslim head covering and convert instead. After some diligent Googling, she set out to the mall to buy a Niqaab.
The next day she decided to sport it at the local Mosque because she couldn't figure out where all the Muslim men went to meet women. After an unsuccessful and quite confusing experience at morning prayers, she stopped a woman on the way out of the Mosque and asked if the men didn't talk to her because they could tell she was blond.
"No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. (a classic)
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the
circumcision.
How not to convert a bear
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision
Need your best space pun for a space-themed costume party
I'm gonna attempt to convert the best pun into a costume lol
A rabbi and a bishop get in an argument.
They each agree to go into the woods, find a bear, and try to convert it to their religion.
The next day, the bishop walks in and says that when he saw the bear, he preached the gospel truth of the Lord God and the bear happily got baptized.
He then says, "So, how did yours go?"
The rabbi looks up from his hospital bed and says, "In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."
*NOTE: THIS IS NOT OC. I saw it in a book of Jewish jokes and thought you guys might like it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Jewish boss offered me Friday and Monday off work if I convert.
So it's four days off or f**... on.
Sometimes when I'm bored I'll convert vector images into bitmaps
But I really should stop procrasternating.
Sometimes I don't remember to convert SI units into their more common names. But forgetting s^-1...
Really Hertz
What do you get when you convert mexican food to metric?
Centiladas
Why did the Christian convert quit his job at the sewer company?
Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Jewish girlfriend said that if I really loved her I would convert for her
So I told her to bake my p**... pie at 176.667 degrees.
Converting pimps to socialism is proving difficult
Maybe I shouldn't have told them they have nothing to lose but their chains
A priest, a minister and a rabbi want to find out who is the best at their job.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.
I found a bear by the stream, says the minister, and preached God's holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. Looking back, he says, maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.
A convertible is just like a girlfriend.....
......It's a lot better with it's top off.
New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11
So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did F and H not convert to Islam?
Because j**....
"I used to be a Christian"
The girl said. The boy chuckled "that's fine what made you Convert?"
The girl turned and said "I feel more like a Christina than a Christian"
I am not lazy
I just cant convert my potential energy into kinetic energy.
Our HOA voted no to convert our pool to salt water
Unfortunately the cannibal family was unable to muster support.
I saw a convertible with a superhero livery
It got my spyder senses tingling
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish man and a Christian man are on a plane
On this plane, they have a debate about which religion is more valid. Neither manages to convince the other, but it was a nice friendly conversation. Suddenly, the plane starts to smoke, and ends up crashing in the ocean. Once they're on the safety raft, and the Christian sees the Jewish man cross himself. He says "Hey! I just say you cross yourself! Did I manage to convert you to my religion on the plane?" the Jewish man replies "No no no no no. Spectacles, t**..., wallet, and watch"
Help! I think I broke my phone's speaker! All I did was convert my normal rap playlist into an emo rap playlist.
Now all I can hear is a Lil Peep.
