Conversation Jokes

142 conversation jokes and hilarious conversation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about conversation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a light-hearted laugh? Check out these short conversation jokes to make you smile! Learn some common topics to start conversations, and enjoy the banter of a husband and wife who can't help but make each other giggle. Be a great conversationalist with these jokes and have fun!

Best Short Conversation Jokes

Short conversation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The conversation humour may include short communication jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening just now, were you?!" I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."
  2. My girlfriend said to me "Are you even listening to me?!" Strange way to start a conversation.
  3. "Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..." "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
  4. Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation.. Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
    Roman 2: mmm?
    Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many
  5. My wife yelled at me "are you even listening to me" I said "that's a funny way to start a conversation"
  6. My girlfriend is weird, she always starts conversations with, "Are you even listening to me!" Thanks, I'll be here all week.
  7. My wife screamed, "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?!" I was taken aback... what a weird way to start a conversation.
  8. A conversation with a genie Genie: What is your first wish?
    Steve: I want to be rich.
    Genie: Granted. Second wish?
    Rich: I want lots of money.
  9. My wife asked me "Are you even listening?!" My wife asked me "Are you even listening?!"
    What a strange way to start a conversation.
  10. My wife just stopped and said, "you weren't even listening were you"... I thought, that's a funny way to start a conversation

Quick Jump To

Conversation joke, My wife just stopped and said, "you weren't even listening were you"...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about conversation can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of conversation puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Conversation One Liners

Which conversation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with conversation? I can suggest the ones about chat and discussion.

  1. My wife asked me if "I was listening to her?!" Strange way to start a conversation....
  2. What's the only thing a vegan kills? A conversation.
  3. My wife is weird... She begins every conversation with "Were you even listening to me?"
  4. My wife yells at me "are you even listening?!" Strange way to start a conversation.....
  5. My dad asked me "are you even listening?" What a strange way to start a conversation.
  6. A conversation between a cobra and a librarian -Shhhh
  7. I'm not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks It makes me boulder
  8. I graduated top of my class at gay conversion therapy Everyone else wanted to be bottoms
  9. I hate the part of the conversation where the other person says things.
  10. Why did the ChatGPT cross the road? To get to the other side of the conversation.
  11. I talked to my Republican parents about immigration. The conversation really went south.
  12. I love to have deep conversations at 12:59 I love those 1-to-1 conversations
  13. Two Hispanic guys are having a private conversation A little Juan on Juan.
  14. Why was king Henry the 8th terrible at conversations? He would always cut people off.
  15. Nobody knew she had a dental implant until it slipped out in conversation.

Starting Conversation Jokes

Here is a list of funny starting conversation jokes and even better starting conversation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying "Hey, are you even listening?"
  • My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?!" What a weird way to start a conversation..
  • Yesterday at the dinner table my dad asked me, "are you even listening to me?" weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.
  • My wife was like: "Are you even listening to what I'm saying?!?" And I was like... that's a strange way to start a conversation.
  • "You haven't listened to a word I've said." Strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation.
  • Wife has strange ways of starting a conversation.. ... out of nowhere she'll ask me: are you even listening at all?
  • I hate when my wife asks if I'm listening to her It's such a weird way to start a conversation.
  • My wife just shouted at me YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME, ARE YOU!!??? What a strange way to start a conversation.
  • My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
  • My dad asked me the other day: "Are you even listening to me?" Which is a really weird way to start a conversation if you ask me.

Short Conversation Jokes

Here is a list of funny short conversation jokes and even better short conversation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A good conversation is like a miniskirt… Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
  • A man over heard my conversation about GameStop stock and asked me what'a this fuss all about? I said, Do you want the long or the short story?
  • A short conversation between a husband and wife: Wife: "I think this outfit makes me look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
    Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
  • Are midgets and other little people more succinct, conversationally? The short answer is: yes.
  • A short conversation with my girlfriend Me: I don't really know how to sit in this hammock.
    Gf: Try lying on it.
    Me: Um... okay? I love spending time with your family.

    Gf: what
  • A good conversation is like a miniskirt Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
  • What are some very short, witty, funny, punny jokes than you can use to start a conversation with a girl? (no extreme s**... stuff) But compliments would help

Husband Wife Conversation Jokes

Here is a list of funny husband wife conversation jokes and even better husband wife conversation puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A woman turns to her husband and says, "I feel like you aren't even listening to me." To which the man turns to his wife and says, "that's a strange way to start a conversation."
  • Shortest conversation that led to a beat down Wife: I have changed my mind
    Husband: Is it working now?
  • Divorce conversations Divorce in 2007:
    Husband : I take the kids!
    Wife : No, I take the kids!
    Divorce in 2027:
    Husband : You take the kids!
    Wife: No, you take the kids!
Conversation joke, Divorce conversations

Silly Conversation Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about conversation you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean interaction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make conversation prank.

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.

It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you

him: Knock knock
me: Who's there?
him: A snail
me: a snail who?
him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why

A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...

They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.

I have a friend who always subtly mentions that he went to MIT

I simply hate his behavior. He'd somehow figure out a way to drop it into a conversation just to let people know he's an MIT alumni.
He's always been like this. Even when we were in college together.

This was an actual conversation that took place between my wife and my 7 yr old son just now.

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.

A conversation with god about Trump

John (while writing Revelations): "So Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"
God: "No... I said Trump/Pence."
John: Yeah, trumpets.
God: "Never mind. They'll know."

Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"

Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.

I had a tough conversation with my parents

Dad: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Dad: water
Me: water who?
Dad: water you even doing with your life? I ask you this in the form of a joke because it seems this best relates to the course of your life thus far.

My 93 year old grandfather FTW

We were at a family gathering and out of nowhere my 93 year old grandfather announces ''Well, now I have to sit down now when I pee..."
All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at him.
"My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."

Friend: do you know that o**... who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

A conversation with God

A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?"
God said yes.
The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?"
God said, "Sure, just a second."

At a First Date Conversation

At a first date:
He: I work with animals every day!
She: Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?
He: I'm a butcher.

A blind man and his mistress.

A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let him in.
After bathing, she came out n**..., spread her legs and started shaving in front of him. She tried to make a conversation by asking him, Brother John, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home?
He replied, Yes, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.

Just had the following conversation in court

Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You're Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I'm outta here

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.

A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.

I went on a date with an Italian.

We had a great conversation until we held hands, then she was speechless.

A couple was having a conversation, when...

...the husband turns to his wife and tells her: "I bet you can't say one thing that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The wife thinks about it for a second and then replies: "Yours is bigger than your friends'."

A conversation between my mother and my wife.

Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?

Trump and his family are traveling in a plane.

Trump decides to drop a 100 dollar note from the plane. His wife asks what he is doing. His reply is I want to make an American happy
His wife replies back Why don't you drop ten 10 dollar notes and make ten Americans happy?
Their daughter gives a suggestion Why don't you drop hundred 1 dollar notes and make hundred Americans happy?
The pilot overhears their conversation and gives his own suggestion on the matter.
Why don't you three drop yourselves from the plane and make all Americans happy?

A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and arnold schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

An Englishman comes to Harvard.

Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-
Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?
Undergrad: It's Harvard. People don't end sentences with a preposition here.
Englishman: Oh, I see. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at, a**...?

What's the difference between polite conversation and an e**...?

I can maintain polite conversation.

I made this joke!

One day the king feels the urge to examine his castle dungeons and ensure everything is running smoothly. His examination is going well when he runs across the guy operating the rack. After a bit of conversation the king asks how the rack operator's job is going to which he replies "well, it's just one long 'knight' after another."

A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...

and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"

Jake's final conversation

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

An American visiting the U.K .......

has had a little too much to drink one particular night. He noticed two larger females sitting in the corner of the pub so he walks over to spark up a conversation and he says, hello ladies, I couldn't help but notice your accents. ……Are you both from Ireland?
They sneer at him and the one says it's Wales!
So the man says my apologies. ….Are you whales from Ireland?

So my wife glared at me from across the table and firmly stated You weren't even listening were you?!

I wasn't sure what to say, but I thought That's a strange way to start a conversation .

I told Mom she might be a hoarder.

She said, "Let's save this conversation for another time."

My girlfriend has the weirdest way to start a conversation with me..

„Were you even listening to me?!

At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me.

It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman.

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.
The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"
The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."
The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"
The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a j**... lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a j**... lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.

Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".

A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."

After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"

"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you?"

It always felt like a strange way for my girlfriend to start a conversation...

The real reason women don't like guys under 6 feet

Dead people really struggle to hold a conversation.

Two lumberjacks are having a conversation.

One of them says "You know, I can cut wood just by looking at it!"
The other replies "That's not possible! I don't believe you!"
The first says "I know, that it's hard to believe, but I'm telling you! I saw it with my two eyes!"

Two friends were having a conversation...

The first guy says "Man, my neighbors were up yelling and screaming at one in the morning."
"Ouch." says the other guy "Did they wake you up?"
"No. I was already up, playing my bagpipes."

A man walks into a bar, with a newt on his shoulder.

He passes the night trying to chat up every girl he sees, but sadly to no avail, since everyone is wierded out by his newt.
Finally, he sees a beautiful girl and strikes up a conversation with her. After a few moments of talking, she questions him about the newt.
"What's his name?" The girl ask him.
"Tiny" the man responds.
"Oh whys he named that?" The girl questions.
"Because he's my newt"

A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"
"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"
"You're thinking of elk"
"Holy mooses, you're right"

Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire
Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"
Dad: "It's true! I saw it with my own eyes"
He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.

After 5 years of marriage, a couple filed for divorce.

The court was finalizing their divorce when the Judge looked to the couple and said; "You've got 3 kids, how will you divide them?"
The couple then had a long conversation between the two of them. "We'll be back after 1 year." They said.
9 months later, they had twins.

An accordion player walks into a bar,

orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.
Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.
He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.
Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.

I can work the lyrics of Uptown Funk into any conversation I have.

Don't believe me? Just watch!

On the plane

A businessman travels on the plane, first class. He tries to start a conversation with beautiful stewardess:
-What's your name?
-Angela Benz, sir.
-That is a beautiful name! Is there any connection with Mercedes Benz?
-Yes, sir. A very close one.
-How close?
-Same price.

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a civil engineer were having a drink after work

As they drank, the conversation turned to God. Obviously, he was an engineer! But what sort of engineer?
The mechanical engineer brought up the perfection of the human joints and musculature. Surely that proved God was a mechanical engineer!
The electrical engineer responded that, without the brains and nerves, those muscles and joints would be useless. God must be an electrical engineer!
The civil engineer just looked at the two of them and shook his head. "Who else but a civil engineer would put the sewer outflow right in the middle of the entertainment district?"

So, a blonde and a brunette are at the mall...

and they see this really good looking guy. Being very outgoing girls they strike up a conversation. After they part ways, the blonde noticed that he had really bad dandruff.
"Yeah, we should give him Head & Shoulders." To which the blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"

A German and an Englishman are having a conversation in the park when suddenly a young girl falls into the lake.

They both rush in to save her, but when they emerge she's unconscious.
The Englishman asks the German if they know the number for emergency services.
The Englishman replies, fine, I'll call them myself.

Three men compare how they control their wives...

Three friends are sitting in a bar after a day of work, discussing their lives when the topic of conversation turns to how often they fight with their wives. The first guy says, "I just put my foot down and tell her what's what, and there's no more arguing after that. Then I get the TV to myself all night."
The second guy says, "I just keep repeating my point until she sees the light. Then she always makes my favourite dinner and gives me a back rub."
The third guy says, "Every time we argue, my wife is always on her hands and knees by the end of it."
The other two look at him, impressed. "Then what happens?" The second one asks.
"Well," the third says, " then she says 'Get out from under the bed and fight me you p**...!' "

My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...

It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.

My wife yelled at me today, saying, "You were not even listening now, were you!?"

What a weird way of starting a conversation!!

An elderly man walks into a confessional...

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had s**... with each of them three times."
Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"
Man: "What sins?"
Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"
Man: "I'm Jewish."
Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"
Man: "I'm 92 years old. I'm telling everybody .

2 surgeons are sitting down having lunch.

They are both engaged in a conversation when all of a sudden, one of the surgeons starts laughing hysterically. A dermatologist walks over to their table to join them. He asked the surgeons, "what's so funny?" One of the surgeons replies, " you wouldn't understand. It's an inside joke. "

There once was a woman who had 100 children....

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

Blonde Paint Job Warning:Long

A blonde,wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself as a handyman type and started canvasing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the man asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari."

Conversation joke, Blonde Paint Job Warning:Long

jokes about conversation

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these conversation jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.