Convention Jokes
124 convention jokes and hilarious convention puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about convention that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh away at these witty and funny jokes inspired by the Geneva Convention! Whether you're attending a party or an assembly, these uproarious arboreal gags will bring the house down! Get in on the fun and read all the funniest Convention Jokes today!
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Funniest Convention Short Jokes
Short convention jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The convention humour may include short conference jokes also.
- A new strain of head lice has been discovered which is resistant to conventional treatments. That has left scientists scratching their heads.
- I'm going to this year's Fibonacci convention. It'll be as big as the last two put together.
- Great news! I got the whole plane to myself! The large group going to the psychics convention all cancelled at the last minute.
- I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake
- What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia? A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.
- Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.
- What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention
- What do you call a wine convention in upstate New York? The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign
- I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention. all i got was bunch of measly tips!
- Did you hear the story about the anorexic woman who joined a convent? Man, the chances of that are slim to nun.
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Convention One Liners
Which convention one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with convention? I can suggest the ones about tradition and concert.
- I just flew in from a Ravioli convention. Boyardees arms tired.
- Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.
- I just flew back from a Transformers convention And boy are my arms tires
- There is a nudist convention happening in my town I might go if I have nothing on.
- Just flew in from a vehicle weaponization convention And boy are my tires armed
- A True Nymphomaniac Convention. Everyone came.
- What do you call the line for grilled veggies at a supermodel convention? A barbie queue
- The lights went out at a comedy convention And it became dark humor
- Why do hipsters only use the microwave? Because they don't like conventional ovens.
- I don't go to nostalgia conventions anymore. They're not what they used to be.
- There are two wolves inside of you. You're at a furry convention after hours.
- Psychic convention cancelled ... ... due to unforeseen circumstances
- What do you call a depressed presenter at a dentist convention? A blue tooth speaker
- What do you call a line at an anime convention? A queuwu
- Why was the nun kicked out of the convent? She had a dirty habit.
National Convention Jokes
Here is a list of funny national convention jokes and even better national convention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The National Guillotine Convention promoted me I'm now the head
- National Ginger Convention Thousands showed up but not a soul was to be found.
Geneva Convention Jokes
Here is a list of funny geneva convention jokes and even better geneva convention puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Reminder Dear Mr Putin,
As a quick reminder, the Geneva convention is not intended as a checklist.
Sincerely yours,
Everyone else - How did your farts inspire a convention? They happened in Geneva.
Silly & Ridiculous Convention Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about convention you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean constitution jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make convention pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask
Whoops, wrong sub
Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention?
Thankfully there were no souls on board.
A local convent, which had no security system, suffered a kidnapping.
No fence, nun taken.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs…
If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .
When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.
Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?
Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.
Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.
Cowboy: Well now you have.
Woman: Well?
Cowboy: Well what?
Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?
Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?
Woman: I'm a lesbian.
Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.
Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.
Cowboy: . . . .
The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
harharhar.
What rock star is headlining at the annual Fanfiction Convention?
Slash
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Our baby's new nickname is Assad...
..because he keeps assaulting us with gas that is definitely in violation of the Chemical Weapons Convention.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Elusive Midget Nun
Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!
what do you call a gathering of nuns
a convent-tion
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a guy wants to marry a v**...
He adopts a girl, and drops her off at a convent. 18 years later, he goes and picks her up and marries her. On their wedding night, he's getting ready and breaks out some K-Y. The girl says, "What's that for?" The man replies, "You know, so I don't hurt you."
The girl responds and asks, "Why don't you just spit on it like the monks do?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...
They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"
What do you call a convention for mannequins?
A mannecon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a society governed by men with no t**...?
An anorchy...
...I swear, that one KILLED at the urology convention
Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?
Cause William Shatner Coffee.
hahahha
What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs?
Banner.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
I tried to make friends at a midget convention by telling some jokes
But all my material went over their heads.
Went to a ginger convention today
There wasn't a soul there.
London held a monocle convention for high class members of society...
... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle.
It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...
One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.
Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.
A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate, "so we can pARRRk ARRRR cARRR in the hARRRRvard yARRRd!"
What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team?
The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nuns
The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session.
The mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious
frown on her face. She began to speak...
Mother Superior: There had been a sinful deed committed here, yesterday.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: Today I found a pair a men's underwear.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And I also found a c**....
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And it has been used!
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And there was a hole in it!
1 nun: Oh, No!
99 nuns: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!.....
At the Hotel Bar...
A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.
"You guys with a convention?"
"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"
"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."
"So what did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."
Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: "Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other"...
When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said:
"Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?"
I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention.
It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.
What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent?
Nun the Wiser
There was a social anxiety convention
No one showed up.
I went to a sarcasm convention.
A girl came up to me and said, "What brings you here?"
I said, "My feet."
Did you hear about the convention for irregular and non-quadrilateral shapes?
Be there or be sqaure
An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives
He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."
A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".
I told my son that I went to a Sarcasm Convention.
He said, "How did you find it?"
I said, "With a map."
A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention.
Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.
Two girls in a Catholic convent school.
One whispers to the other: "There's a contraceptive hidden behind the radiator!"
The other whispers back: "What's a radiator?"
How many girls got married at the Convent?
Nun
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
100 nuns are in a prayer session.
After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a c**... in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"There was a hole in that c**...."
99 nuns chuckle, while one gasps.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian spy, a k**..., and televangelist walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."
Why was the Emo kicked out of the convention?
Because he was cutting in line
Why was the young priest frustrated after spending the night in a convent?
He didn't get nun.
There are three kinds of people in the world
Those who shower before bed
Those who shower in the morning
And regular convention atendees
I was invited to a nudist convention this weekend...
I said I'd go if I have nothing on.
I made a very tasteless joke at an alopecia convention...
...fortunately it didn't raise any eyebrows.
I love showing up to religious conventions cosplaying as a crucified Jesus.
I'm a cross dresser.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.
I'll call it l**...-Con.
Half price admission for the wee folk.
What do you call a convention for English teachers?
Comma-Con
How does a Twitch streamer prepare for a convention?
He pax
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a trebuchet in a convent and Bruce Lee have in common?
They're both nunchuckers.
Yes lame but it's OC
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of s**... happens in a convent?
Nun.
I went to a little person convention yesterday
It was boring, just all small talk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone at a b**... convention asked me what investments he should make
I told them to invest in stocks and bonds
I once went to a convention about impostor syndrome...
...but I had to leave because I felt like I didn't belong
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"
"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"
What do you call a political convention in a Soviet state?
A communist party
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to the Southern Baptist Convention... couples are forbidden to have s**... while standing up.
They're afraid it might lead to dancing.
Why do the Sisters in a convent not trust their gut instincts?
It's usually just nunsense!
Every time I go to a comic convention in my normal clothes, people ask me who I'm going as. I finally have an answer...
Thanks to Marvel, I'm going as a Skrull in disguise...
A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...
And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.
They call it the Enter prize
You think your day was bad? Imagine being miles and miles away from home, hot and sweaty from the 50 pound uniform you're wearing , people don't accept you. They think you're a monster. Thank god there's other people like me or I wouldn't be able to handle being here .
Thank god for the furry convention.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man broke into a convent one day, intent on kidnapping a nun.
Bursting through the door, he swept the first nun he saw off her feet and threw her over his shoulder. Police arrive on the scene just as the kidnapper escaped through the front door.
The first cop shouted What the h**..., man as the kidnapper fled on foot, nun over his shoulder.
No offense, the kidnapper responded as he ran away.
Nun taken! the officer reported into his radio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Does anyone know if j**... Falwell Jr. is still scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention?
Or is he just going to sit in the corner and watch?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the convention...
Did you hear about the spanking f**... convention here last weekend?
Apparently a big hit and everyone came.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sister Ann Putting on Weight
"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging belly. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said Sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little f**...!"
