Convention Jokes

Following is our collection of assembly puns and conference one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Convention jokes for adults, dirty geneva jokes and clean democratic national convention dad gags for kids.

The Best Convention Puns

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

I'm going to this year's Fibonacci convention.

It'll be as big as the last two put together.

A scientist is trying to prove that all blonds are stupid

so he holds an all blond convention and randomly picks someone from the crowd. First he asks her what two plus two is. She answers seven, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what ten minus four is. She answers thirteen, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!". So this time he asks her what is five times five is. She answers twenty-five, and the crowd yells, "Give her another chance!".

Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.

Laughed more than I thought.

A cowboy takes a break from the range and heads out to LA for a cowboy convention . . .

When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.


Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.

Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?

Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.

Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.

Cowboy: Well now you have.

Woman: Well?

Cowboy: Well what?

Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?

Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?

Woman: I'm a lesbian.

Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.

Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.

Cowboy: . . . .


The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.


Woman: Are you a cowboy?

Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.


harharhar.


Someone at a BDSM convention asked me what investments he should make

I told them to invest in stocks and bonds

A Russian spy, a Klansman, and televangelist walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."

I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...

It was a Wookie mistake

What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia?

A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night

I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.

Just got my ticket to the Fibonacci convention!

It's going to be as big as the last two years put together.


What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on?

They should allow guns at the Republican convention

There is a nudist convention happening in my town

I might go if I have nothing on.

There's a nudist convention in my town next weekend

I might go if I've got nothing on

75 story hotel

Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.

Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."

The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.

"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."

(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR DAMMIT

A True Nymphomaniac Convention.

Everyone came.

Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: "Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other"...

When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said:

"Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?"

What do you call a wine convention in upstate New York?

The Lake Champlain Champagne Campaign

I hated working as a valet at the anti-vaxxer convention.

all i got was bunch of measly tips!


What do you call the line for grilled veggies at a supermodel convention?

A barbie queue

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Arab met over coffee..

...at a convention.

''I am happily married,'' said the Englishman, ''and have 10 children. One more and I shall have my own football team."

''I am happily married,'' said the Welshman ''and have 14 children. One more and I shall have my own Rugby team."

''I am also happily married,'' said the Arab ''and have 17 wives. One more and I shall have my own Golf course.''

Did you hear about the convention for irregular and non-quadrilateral shapes?

Be there or be sqaure

I just drove in from a Transformers convention...

... and boy, are my arms tires!

What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team?

The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers.

I went to a sarcasm convention.

A girl came up to me and said, "What brings you here?"

I said, "My feet."

It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...

One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.

Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.

A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate, "so we can pARRRk ARRRR cARRR in the hARRRRvard yARRRd!"

A bear and a pony walked onto the stage at a convention...

And the pony went up to the microphone and said, "Bear with me, I'm a little horse."

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.

The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.

A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention.

Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.

I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention.

It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.

London held a monocle convention for high class members of society...

... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle.

I tried to make friends at a midget convention by telling some jokes

But all my material went over their heads.

Does anyone know if Jerry Falwell Jr. is still scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention?

Or is he just going to sit in the corner and watch?

What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs?

Banner.

Psychic convention cancelled ...

... due to unforeseen circumstances

There are two wolves inside of you.

You're at a furry convention after hours.

What do you call a depressed presenter at a dentist convention?

A blue tooth speaker

Did you hear about the plane that crashed on the way to the ginger convention?

Thankfully there were no souls on board.

The National Guillotine Convention promoted me

I'm now the head

What do you call a convention for mannequins?

A mannecon.

What do you call a society governed by men with no testicles?

An anorchy...

...I swear, that one KILLED at the urology convention

I once went to a convention about impostor syndrome...

...but I had to leave because I felt like I didn't belong

There are three kinds of people in the world

Those who shower before bed

Those who shower in the morning

And regular convention atendees

At the Hotel Bar...

A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.


"You guys with a convention?"


"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"


"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."


"So what did you end up doing?"


"I'm a proctologist."

The lights went out at a comedy convention

And it became dark humor

What rock star is headlining at the annual Fanfiction Convention?

Slash

Went to a ginger convention today

There wasn't a soul there.

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.

They call it the Enter prize

What do you call a convention for English teachers?

Comma-Con

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it Leper-Con.

Half price admission for the wee folk.

I told my son that I went to a Sarcasm Convention.

He said, "How did you find it?"

I said, "With a map."

Why did the trekkie spit out her latte at the Star Trek Convention?

Cause William Shatner Coffee.

hahahha

A girl says she remembers me from the vegetarian convention...

...but I swear I've never met herbivore.

According to the Southern Baptist Convention... couples are forbidden to have sex while standing up.

They're afraid it might lead to dancing.

I went to a little person convention yesterday

It was boring, just all small talk.

What do you call a political convention in a Soviet state?

A communist party

Every time I go to a comic convention in my normal clothes, people ask me who I'm going as. I finally have an answer...

Thanks to Marvel, I'm going as a Skrull in disguise...

I was invited to a nudist convention this weekend...

I said I'd go if I have nothing on.

You think your day was bad? Imagine being miles and miles away from home, hot and sweaty from the 50 pound uniform you're wearing , people don't accept you. They think you're a monster. Thank god there's other people like me or I wouldn't be able to handle being here .

Thank god for the furry convention.

Our baby's new nickname is Assad...

..because he keeps assaulting us with gas that is definitely in violation of the Chemical Weapons Convention.

Why was the Emo kicked out of the convention?

Because he was cutting in line

There is an abundance of facetious jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 61 funniest jokes and convention puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any expo witze you can hear about convention.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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