Convenient Jokes
32 convenient jokes and hilarious convenient puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about convenient that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Convenient Short Jokes
Short convenient jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The convenient humour may include short convenience jokes also.
- Little joke I thought of: What do you call a duck being kidnapped? An abduction.
I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door. - Have you ever seen those "Give a penny, take a penny" things at convenience stores??? that makes no cents
- When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually.
- When I was 22 I lived a life of crime. I'm 29 now, but back then I would dress up as Abraham Lincoln and rob convenience stores.
I robbed four stores seven years ago. - My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.
- I had a date with a girl with leprosy and I think she likes me She conveniently left an ear behind
- History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the "Lazy Susan", but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife.
- Don't you love having your gym pass on your keys? It's so convenient! Every time they fall under my car seat, the pass makes it so easy to pick up!
- A guy walks into a convenience store and asks "Can I have a can 'o dew?" Store clerk tells him, "No can dew"
- It would be convenient to have a really broad word to use in place of nouns we forget/don't know. Never mind thats already a thing.
Share These Convenient Jokes With Friends
Convenient One Liners
Which convenient one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with convenient? I can suggest the ones about comfortable and helpful.
- one direction fans are the worst. oscillating fans are so much more convenient.
- Why do people rob 7/11 instead of restaurants? Because it's more convenient.
- Today's date is 7/11 which is convenient.
- Where do authors buy their Deus Ex Machinas? At the convenience store!
- Why is depressed clothing so convenient? It hangs itself
- Where does Hulk buy his pants? At the Plot Convenience store.
- I've got plans to build the world's greatest convenience store..
- What's Helen Keller's Favorite Convenience Store? Wawa
- What time do convenience stores open? 7/11 on the dot.
- As convenient as a coinpurse Now that's what I call service with a simile!
- Why are convenience store clerks the best prostitutes? Thank you! Come again!
- Why did Michael Brown rob the convenience store? He was so hungry he could eat a bullet.
- I realized why home births are so convenient. The baby was always in the living w**....
Giggle-Inducing Convenient Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about convenient you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make convenient pranks.
A woman walks into a convenience store...
"I need four D batteries," she says.
The cashier nods and motions to her with a finger. "Come this way."
"If I could come that way, I wouldn't need four D batteries!"
There were three friends...
There were three friends - a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.
The lawyer says, "It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues."
The doctor remarks: "It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life."
The manager differs by saying: "I don't agree with either of you. I think it's best to have both. So when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife - you can go to the office and finish some work."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't Pakistanis play soccer?
Whenever they get a corner they set up a convenience store
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!
***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:
Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People say there are no advantages to being ugly
But conveniently, my portraits just hang themselves.
Mitch Hedberg Joke - Escalators
"I like an escalator because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. There would never be an 'escalator temporarily out of order' sign, only 'escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"
-Mitch Hedberg
A young man walks into a convenience store
He opens up the beer cooler and grabs a six pack. An old man standing next to him gives him a look, and the young man says "how much do you want to bet they'll sell me this beer even though I'm not twenty-one?" The old man says "they even check MY ID here. Twenty bucks."
"You're on." The young man says as he walks up to the cashier. Much to the old man's dismay, the young man shows his ID and pays for the beer.
"How? How did they sell you that if you're not twenty-one?" The old man asks.
The young man puts out his hand and says "That's easy, I'm twenty-two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tampons
A man walks into a supermarket, asks the clerk where the Tampons are.
She told him Aisle 14.
He comes back a few minutes later with a big bag of large cotton b**......and some kite string.
Puzzled, the girl asks him if he wasn't the one asking for Tampons?
" it's a long story," he explains, "last night, the wife went to convenience store, and I asked her to get me a pak of cigarettes."
He continues, "she came back with a can of Prince Albert and some rolling papers, saying it was cheaper to roll my own....
Cause of death: COVID
A man wins big...
*pardon if this is a repost*
A gig worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home.
When he arrives, he asks his wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She replies "I'd take half the money and leave you."
"Great! I just won $200 tonight, here's $100 -- enjoy your half."
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
After many years in America, the local Korean owner of a convenience store was asked how it was that his name is Patrick Murphy.
When I come to America, there was long line of immigrants from all over the world. When immigration officer ask man in front of me where he comes from & what his name he tell him, " I'm from Ireland & my name is Patrick Murphy!" Then immigration officer writes his name down and tells him to go on to next line.
Then immigration officer ask me where I come from & my name and I tell him, " I am from Korean and my name is Sam Ting!"
