The Best 61 Conv Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Conv jokes. There are some conv islam jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these conv conversational puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Conv Jokes and Puns

A conversation between my mother and my wife.

Wife: Hi mom, I am so happy to see you. How long will you be staying?
Mother-in-Law: As long as you want me to...
Wife: What! you wont even stay for coffee?

A conversation between friends.

White kid: My dad's well hung.
Black kid: Mine was hung too.
Chinese kid: Hey! My dad's Hung too!!

This is a below average joke attempt. I know, hanged vs hung. Still I thought I'd share.

Conversation between a 911 operator and a hunter

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My friend and I went hunting and he got attacked by a bear, I managed to scare it away, but I think my friend is dead"

"OK, stay calm. First, make sure he is dead"

*Gun shot*

"He is. Now what?"

Conv joke, Conversation between a 911 operator and a hunter

A conversation between a cobra and a librarian





A conversation with my 7 year old brother.

"Look at all of these beautiful horse"


"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"

"You're thinking of elk"

"Holy mooses, you're right"

Convincing someone to have sex is a lot like getting ketchup out of a glass bottle.

It's a lot easier with a knife.

A conversation with God

A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?"

God said yes.

The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?"

God said yes.

The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?"

God said, "Sure, just a second."

Conv joke, A conversation with God

How can i convince my Buddhist friend that he owes me money from 3 lifetimes ago?

What do you get if a convict goes camping?

Criminal Intent.

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

How do you convert Spanish programming into English?


You can explore conv conversion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean conv study dad jokes. There are also conv puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

*A conversation between two Wannabe Terrorists *

T1: Oi mate, check out this bomb. I got it for a very cheap price!!

T2: It's a fake man.

T1: Fake? C4 yourself man.


Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.

I tried to have a conversation with a rock.

It was hard.

Convert today! $5000

Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.

"What happened that took forever?"

"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."

"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"

"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

Conv joke, How do you convince America to join a war?

I tried convincing my melon-loving girlfriend to run away with me.

But she told me she Cantaloupe.

I have conversational ninja skills...

People don't notice when I'm talking.

I tried to convince the grape that she had dried out...

But I just couldn't raisin with her.

I'll see myself out.

I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers.

(Come on, it's been 15 years.)

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

Conversation that just happened between a friend (lawyer) and I (Architect).

Friend: Everybody hates lawyers, until they need one.
Me: Everybody loves architects, until they need one.

A conversation between God and and Angel

GOD: They scared enough?

ANGEL: Not yet

GOD: You got Trump running?


GOD: Hurricane?


GOD: Ok, send in the clowns.

A conversation with god about Trump

John (while writing Revelations): "So Lord, the end will be signaled by trumpets?"

God: "No... I said Trump/Pence."

John: Yeah, trumpets.

God: "Never mind. They'll know."

Just had the following conversation in court

Judge: State your name.

Me: Not Guilty

Judge: What?

Me: I had it legally changed.

Judge: You're Not Guilty?

Me: Thanks, I'm outta here

I'm convinced that my wife is cheating.

She swears it's just skill.

A convicted murderer is sentenced to death by the electric chair.

As is customary, the executioners have a priest brought in.

"Any last requests?" asks the priest.

"Yes," says the murderer, "can you please hold my hand?"

What do you get when you convince a gorilla to have sex with a pig?

Fired from the zoo, apparently.

Every conversation I have with my wife starts with her saying

"Did you hear anything I said in the last 10 minutes?"

A Conversation over Walkie-Talkies

Her: This relationship is over!
Me: This relationship is what? Over.

We need to have a conversation about gun control.

Alright, shoot.

I convinced my girlfriend to get over her fear of skydiving...

Her funeral is on Tuesday.

I convinced a bunch of people to blow themselves up on the street. Don't believe me?

Come c4 yourself.

A conversation with a genie

Genie: What is your first wish?

Steve: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted. Second wish?

Rich: I want lots of money.

If someone tries to convince you pigs can't fly

Conversation at the breakfast table this morning.

Him: I shouldn't say I love you with all my heart. I should say, I love you with all my liver, since it's bigger.

Me: Then you should love me with all your ego.

Him: I don't love you that much.

if you don't have any conversation starters try the Titanic

wait nvm it's not a good icebreaker

I had a conversation about wood with a few people

It was a board meeting.

Why do convertible owners drive with the top down in rainstorms?

So they can use the car pool lane.

I had the best conversation with my African friend.

We just clicked.

A convicted thief comes out of court and calls his wife:

- What did they say, Rob?

- Either 3 years in prison or $100.000

-Don't be stupid, take the money!

I once went to a convention about impostor syndrome...

...but I had to leave because I felt like I didn't belong

Why did F and H not convert to Islam?

Because Jihad.

I've been trying to convince my wife to get a tattoo of a kitten on her breast.

Just so she could have a titty tat.

I convinced my son if he didn't try to keep me cool during Summer he wouldn't be written into my will...

Apparently I'm now a bad father simply for wanting some heir conditioning.

Convicted hit man Jimmy "Two Shoes" McClarty.

Confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using on two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first know case of a knick knack paddy whack.


I'm trying to convince my wife that we should become polygamists.

If we married a housekeeper, baby sitter, and landscaper, we wouldn't have to pay them.

If you can convince a hooker to make eggs after....

Is she a bed and breakfast?

Conversation with a wind turbine.

Wind turbine: *exists*

Man : "I'll hold up a big kite and you blow air at me until I lift off."

Wind Turbine: " ... "

Man : "What do you think of that idea?"

Wind turbine : "I'm not a huge fan"

Had a conversation with a Miner about the effects it had on the environment.

The conversation got rocky.

Conversation between a doctor and his assistant

Assistant: Doc, there is a patient out here saying he is turning invisible.

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now.

Assistant: He also said he's shrinking.

Doctor: Well, he is going to be a little patient!

It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you

him: Knock knock

me: Who's there?

him: A snail

me: a snail who?

him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why

Had a conversation with my suitcase about not going on holiday this year

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage

I believe that all convicted rapists should be castrated by the state...

I have no moral or philosophical reasoning behind this belief. I just really need a job right now.

A conversation between a bird cop and a bird detective

Cop: We found 2 murder victims, bludgeoned to death

Detective: Did you find the murder weapon?

Cop: Just one stone

Detective: *Lowers shades* Dear god

A conversation I had with my mom

Mom: A little birdy told me someone's been taking drugs

Me: Well you're the one talking to birds!

I had a conversation with a Jewish friend who said to me I have no idea what it's like to be Jewish

I told him that is not true! My wife blames me for everything.

I tried to convince my six year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally pee in your pants.

But he's not believing it and still making fun of me.

What did the convicted cannibal choose for his last meal?

Five guys

Convos be like...

Me: Hi, my name is Rick and I drink too much.

Them: Sir, this is Triple A, not AA.

Me: I'm just telling you why my car is in the river.

A conversation between a priest and me

Me: So Christ body is bread?

Priest: Yes

Me: It rose from the grave?

Priest: Yes

Me: Because of yeast?

Priest: No

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the conv man jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working conv conversation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes