Controls Jokes

Following is our collection of render puns and knobs one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Controls jokes for adults, dirty regulate jokes and clean redneck birth control dad gags for kids.

The Best Controls Puns

Why dont you need birth controls when having sex with British boys?

They are the earliest to pull out of eu.

What's the difference between a man and an octopus?

Octopus: eight tentacles, each its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain

Human Male: one tentacle which controls brain

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.

When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

Whats the difference between the government and corporations

One controls politics, the other is the government

A kid asks the Sunday school teacher which part of the body goes to Heaven first. The teacher decides to make it a lesson and asks the kids what they think.

Sarah says 'it's your brain, because that's what controls everything'

Tina says 'it's your heart, because that's where Jesus lives'

Johnny yells out 'your feet!'

The teacher asks why the feet.

Johnny replies 'because I looked in Mrs Brown's bedroom window this morning and she had her feet in the air screaming 'Jesus! I'm coming!'

Life is like operating a crane.

Early on, you figure out how to make it up to the controls... Only to realize you have no clue what to do once you get there.

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

The Igloominati.

Future aircraft will be piloted by a man and a dog...

The man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man from touching the controls.

Why do French people hate remote controls?

They are too easy Toulouse.

Have you heard about the corporation that controls all the world's cheese?

The hallouminatti.

My angry wife controls everything. She even said I had to stop eating candy at work...

... so I had to fire her

What's the difference between a Sex Worker and Computer Programer?

One controls the use of V and C. The other uses ctrl V and ctrl C.

In normal election, you control who you put in power

In Mother Russia, Putin power controls you

What is the difference between Rasputin and Putin?

The first one was a charismatic pervert, who controlled the tsar of Russia

The second one is the tsar of Russia, who controls a charismatic pervert

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

What do you call someone who controls zombie cats?

A *neko*mancer

Man, the deep dish pizza guy caught the flu and now he thinks he controls the world

I'm not sure if the ill Lou Malnati story holds up.

On the first terraforming mission to Mars, checking the controls: "Can you see if the oxygen levels have stabilized yet?"

"I really don't know, it's all up in the air."

So I just told my dad that the kernel is basically what controls your OS

He responded with "shouldn't it be the generals?"

What do you call a shadow organization of marine mammals that controls everything?


There is an abundance of german air control jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes and controls puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any the remote control witze you can hear about controls.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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