Controls Engineer Jokes
23 controls engineer jokes and hilarious controls engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about controls engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Controls Engineer Short Jokes
Short controls engineer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The controls engineer humour may include short control engineering jokes also.
- Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control? Their personalities
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Controls Engineer One Liners
Which controls engineer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with controls engineer? I can suggest the ones about engineer and system engineer.
- What's an engineer's best form of birth control? His personality.
Controls Engineer Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about controls engineer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean structural engineer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make controls engineer pranks.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you".
The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
Three drunk guys get into a taxi.
The driver knew they were drunk. He turned the engine on and quickly turned it back off. He said "We've arrived."
The 1st drunk pays the driver, the 2nd drunk thanked him, and the 3rd drunk slapped him. He thought the 3rd drunk knew what he did, but he asked anyway "What was that for?"
"CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME! You nearly killed us!"
What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?
The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.
Drunk taxi.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The
taxi driver knew that they were
drunk so he started the engine
& turned it off again. Then
said,"We have reached your
destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said
"Thank you". The 3rd guy
slapped the driver. The driver
was shocked thinking the 3rd
drunk knew what he did. But
then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied,
"Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
Really drunk people?
3 men entered a taxi. The taxi driver could tell that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off. He then proceeded to tell them that they had reached their destination. The first guy gave him the money and the second guy thanked the taxi driver. The third guy suddenly slapped the driver. The driver was shocked; he was wondering if the third guy could see through his dishonesty. He then asked What was that for? The third guy, with a furious face yelled Control your speed next time you almost killed us!
Three Drunks Get into a Taxi
Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him £10 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him £20 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"
3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, turn it off again and said "We reached your
destination."
The first guy gave him money.
The second guy said "thank you" then gave him money too, while the third guy slapped the taxi driver.
The driver was shocked thinking the third guy knew what he did, the driver asked "What was that for?"
The third guy replied "Control your speed next time, you've nearly killed us."
Three drunk guys enter a Taxi
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk, so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "we have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him the money and the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was very shocked thinking the 3rd drunkard knew what he did. But then he asked "what was that for?" The 3rd guy replied, " Control yourspeed next time, you nearly killed us!
A friend calls his engineer friend
A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engineer answers "I'm washing the dishes and my wife is watching me"
Life of a taxi driver
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. the driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine,turn it off again and said "We reached your destination" The first guy gave him money,the second guy said "thank you" then gave him money too,while the third guy slapped the taxi driver,the driver was shocked thinking the third guy knew what he did,the driver asked "What was that for?" the third guy replied "Control your speed next time, you've nearly killed us!"
I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an antiques store today.
"You would have got more for it if the fat controller wasn't missing." Said the assistant.
"Yeah, you're probably right." I replied. "She's good at haggling."
Three drunken guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then he said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money and the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver and said, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
3 drunk guys entered a taxi
The driver- who knew the 3 of them were drunk, started the engine and then shut it off again after a few seconds. He then tells them, "alright guys we're here now!"
The first drunk guy gave the taxi driver money. The second drunk guy smiled then said, "thank you and keep the change." The third drunk guy slapped the driver hard across the face.
The driver was shocked, thinking the third guy knew what he had just done. But then he turned and asked him, "hey what was that for!?"
The third drunk guy replied, "control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
A group of engineering students were discussing the nature of God.
The first student asserts that God is an electrical engineer, because of all the complex information and control signals running around in our nervous system.
The second student explains that God is a mechanical engineer, because of all the different kinds of activities that the human body can be trained to perform.
The third student says that God is a Systems Engineer, because the human brain is essentially a self-programming neural net computer.
The fourth student then quietly states that God is really a civil engineer, because nobody else would run a septic system through a recreational area.
Space monkeys
NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space.
As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!
At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's engines ignited and the shuttle took off.
Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!
At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.
Another two hours later mission control announced, This is mission control to the astronaut…
At this the astronaut responded I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything.
3 drunk guys got into a taxi...
...The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and after a few seconds, simply turned it off again.
Taxi driver: We have reached your destination!
The first guy gave him some money and the second guy thanked him as they clambered out of the car.
The third guy slapped the taxi driver across the face. The taxi driver was shocked, thinking the third guy was drunk.
Taxi driver: What was that for??
Third guy: Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!!!
A joke I received from my cousin this morning.
4 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, kept it started for 5 mins then turned it off again. He then told them"We have reached".
The 1st guy was too drunk.Without saying a word he got out of the taxi.
The 2nd guy gave him money.
The 3rd guy got out and said "thank you".
The 4th guy slapped the driver.
The driver was shocked, he thought the 4th guy knew what he did. But he asked "what was that for"?
The 4th guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us"!
the fowled experiment
scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
british engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. arrangements were made. but when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cab.
horrified the britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
NASA's response was just three words, "thaw the chicken".
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived".
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?".
The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"