Control Group Jokes
29 control group jokes and hilarious control group puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about control group that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Control Group Short Jokes
Short control group jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The control group humour may include short therapy group jokes also.
- People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing... A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.
- A scientist couple had identical twins... They named one Peter and the other one Control Group.
- My wife said she wants to experiment more in the bedroom Unfortunately, it looks likeI'm in the control group.
- On my way home from work today I was listening to Placebo.. I thought I was listening to something else, but obviously I was the control group.
- Did you hear about the man from the experimental group that was arrested? He was out of control.
- How would a giant robot that's controlled by multiple people be rendered useless? Make operating it a school group project!
- I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors. I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.
- Why wouldn't a mad scientist destroy the world? A mad scientist would never destroy the world.
...Half the world maybe. That would be enough to have a control group. - I'm doing a science experiment on comedy where I tell people a joke and see their reaction. Welcome to the control group.
- My wife told me she wants to experiment in the bedroom. Apparently, I got put into the control group.
Share These Control Group Jokes With Friends
Control Group One Liners
Which control group one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with control group? I can suggest the ones about family group and support group.
- What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic? The control group.
- My friends and I experimented with s**... in high school... I was the control group
Control Group Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about control group you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean control freak jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make control group pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked me whether I experimented with s**... and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, Yes, but I was part of the control group.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs…
If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?
The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.
The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead to account for the placebo effect.
Mafia florists
Some Italian mafia members own a florist shop in a city. Theirs is the only florist is the area, and so they control most of the flower business in the area.
One day, however, another florist shop opens up across the street. Afraid for their business, the mafia send one of theirs to rustle the place up, maybe scare them off. But he comes back to report that the florists are all friars! Being devout Catholics, they can't mess with the good friars.
The mafia boss has a solution. He turns to a guy named Hugh.
"Hey Hugh, you're atheist, right?"
"Yes."
"You you'll have no qualms about shaking up that flower shop?"
"I don't see why I would, boss."
Then he puts his hand on Hugh's shoulder, turns to the rest of the group, and says,
"Only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
In 15 days, a man with questionable hair and direction will be watched by millions as he takes control of a terrfied group of people who don't know how much they can trust him.
But enough about M. Night Shyamalan's new movie Split.
The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.
A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.
"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,
"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replied the scientist.
"What did you find?"
"If you give a control group sugar pills 3 times a day for 3 years, they'll all get diabetes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i was excited when i was asked to participate in experiment about regular s**... and its effects on mental health
being in control group definitely make me depressed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In group projects, they call me the task manager
I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**
We need to conduct a properly controlled trial
In which one group is injected with Dettol and another is injected with Cillit Bang and lysol.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TO THE ADMIN OF THIS GROUP
CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE CONTROL OVER WHO YOU LET IN. THERE IS A NEW MEMBER. AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE HAS BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEN. SHE SENDS n**... PICTURES OF HERSELF IN GROTESQUE POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER LADY GARDEN. SHE IS OFFERING A SAMSUNG GALAXY S8 IN EXCHANGE FOR s**... FAVOURS.
I AM ESPECIALLY UPSET BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT, THE PHONE WASN'T EVEN A GALAXY S8... IT WAS A GALAXY S5 AND IT OBVIOUSLY HAS A VIRUS BECAUSE IT'S REALLY SLOW. IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH... THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON STICKS
A group of engineering students were discussing the nature of God.
The first student asserts that God is an electrical engineer, because of all the complex information and control signals running around in our nervous system.
The second student explains that God is a mechanical engineer, because of all the different kinds of activities that the human body can be trained to perform.
The third student says that God is a Systems Engineer, because the human brain is essentially a self-programming neural net computer.
The fourth student then quietly states that God is really a civil engineer, because nobody else would run a septic system through a recreational area.
A group of wives go on a bus trip
A group of wives go on a bus trip.
It was a rainy day. So, while driving over a bridge, the driver lost control over the bus and the bus fell into the river.
All women died in the accident.
The next day, their husbands came to the bridge to mourn for their dead wives.
After a few hours, all men but one left.
Another man, who was puzzled about thios man's behaviour, came back a couple hours later to ask the man why he was still mourning.
He replied: "It's not like that... it's just... my wife... she missed the bus!"
If a group of ducks were controlling the "autocorrect" feature that would be ducking insane
There was a support group for ugly people.
and each month when they would meet, there would be a small bus to pick them all up and take them to the meeting. Well one stormy night after picking everyone up the bus driver lost control of the bus on a bridge and it plummeted into the water and all of those hideous ugly people drowned.
So they go to heaven and St. Peter is there and he says
"Wow, you guys had it rough! I mean look at you!"
and then he says
"You know what? I am going to give each of you one wish, and then send you back to earth, here line up and tell me what your wish is."
So the ugly people lined up and the person in the front of the line says
"Oh I got it!, I want to be beautiful!"
So St. Peter complied.
The next person in line sees what happened to the first person
and says "Make me beautiful too!"
So he did.
At that moment, there seemed to be someone giggling from the end of the line. St. Peter didn't know what was so funny but he kept on granting wishes and one by one each person in line asked to be beautiful.
Finally St Peter gets to the end of the line and the last person is just about to explode with laughter. He can hardly contain himself.
St Peter says... "Ok.. what is your wish?"
and the man says
"Make em' all ugly again!"
Bad News
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces, The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, Well, how much does a brain cost? The Doctor quickly responded, $5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, Why is the male brain so much more?
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used.