Contro Jokes

I won't control what you do on the internet

but Theresa May

Help! My husband's too controlling!

I can control sheep by just listening to them

It's true, I heard them with my own ears

Control system theory joke

As Polish airline is flying into New York City, the captain announces over the address system, for those of you on the right side of the aircraft, you can see the Statue of Liberty out your window.
Immediately everyone in the seats on the left crowded into the right side, leaning over the other passengers to try to see out the window. Because of the sudden shift in weight, the pilot lost control, and the plane crashed, killing everyone aboard.
The official report said that the accident was due to instability caused by poles in the right half plane.

With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she

licked my face and wagged her tail!

Self control

I stopped a girl getting r**... today.
I used self-control.

This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.

How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?

There has been some controversy regarding priests delivering sermons using an iPad instead of the traditional bible.

I think its perfectly fine. After all, Moses delivered the ten commandments using two tablets.

There's so much controversy surrounding school zones

I swear, I see a sign saying "end school zone" in every single one.

There has been some controversy lately...

...about what would happen if you put a lightsaber in water. Would it break? Would the water heat up or cool? Recent scientists have discovered the water will heat to about the internal temperature of a tauntaun...luke warm.

A control freak has 5 kids, how many of them does it take to change a light bulb?

There's no point in trying, none of them can change anything.

Controversial

Why don't white people get a white history month?
Answer: Because you typically don't give a participation trophy to the kid who got first place.

Why is I such a controlling letter?

Because I said so.

What is the controlling design factor for the ceiling of a study room?

The attention span.

The control for the air conditioner was so far away

It was not even remotely close

For all the control system people, why did a plane travelling to Poland c**...?

Because the Poles were on the right hand side

control freak

me: knock knock
you: whos there?
me: control freak.....now this is the part where you say "control freak who?"

There was a controversial sale on music in lossless format.

I got a lot of FLAC from participating in it.

Who is the most controversial tv personality of all time?

Not sure, but I wouldn't sleep on Bill Cosby.

I can't control my urination.

It's my #1 problem.

I'm not a control freak.

But let me show you the right way to do that.

What's the most controversial animal product?

A boar shin.