Contribute Jokes
23 contribute jokes and hilarious contribute puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about contribute that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Contribute Short Jokes
Short contribute jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The contribute humour may include short donate jokes also.
- When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
- My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."
- Never ask a man his salary, a woman her age... ... or a billionaire what they contribute to society.
- My taste in women is much like my taste in wine Right now i like them younger, sweeter, and prettier. As i age, i start to like them older, more bitter, and contributing to my alcoholism.
- My brother named his kid Hayden, Cayden, Brayden, and Jayden. His wife is pregnant again and asked for a name suggestion. I didn't want to contribute to this terrible name scheme. So I said Okayden
- A canyon was knighted for its exceptional contribution to satire From then on, the canyon was referred to as Sir Chasm.
- Q. How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenetics lab? A. "Your contribution in this project is absolute zero"
- A lot of people think humans having opposable thumbs contributed greatly to our evolution, but I don't know... ...I think we just have a better grasp on things.
- I'm convinced that people without kids do nothing to contribute to society... ...they're completely youthless.
- I won a scentific reward today! I actually made a helpful contribution to humanity! the scientific community has rewarded my work!
I can't wait to display this new "darwin award" I got!
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Contribute One Liners
Which contribute one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with contribute? I can suggest the ones about participate and volunteer.
- What do you call someone who contributes nothing to society? A politician.
- The thinner you are, the less you contribute to pollution. Because less waist.
- India have contributed immensely in every field But in maths? They have contributed zero
- What do Polar Bears contribute to the local newspaper? The Arcticles.
- What do you call contributive legwear? Participants
*Insert rim shot* - I don't buy fat-free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body issues.
- Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
- Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World...
War. - Pr ss right below where the e should be. Thank you for your contribution.
- Why do feminists find wine-making offensive? Because it contributes to *grape culture*
Heartwarming Contribute Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about contribute you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean encourage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make contribute pranks.
4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!
I really hate babies.
As Steven Weinberg was finishing the presentation of his contributions to the Standard Model, a colleague asks:
"This work is incredible. Do you understand the gravity of what you've done?"
Weinberg: "No, weren't you listening? That's the only force we don't understand."
(I'm sorry for this terrible and obscure joke, feel free to downvote.)
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
4 million of these people...
### 4 million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!
I really hate babies.
Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.
Army Wargames
During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.
"Sorry sir, "said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."
The officer turned to his driver and said, "Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."
They helped.
Drains on society
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You know, this past election year has really got me thinking. Did you know 4 million of these people enter our country each year? They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hard-working Americans and the government is doing nothing to stop them. Not to mention that they are dirty and they smell bad! They don't even speak English!!!" the guy rants to the bartender. "I hate babies."
Karl Marx is historically famous, but no one ever mentions his sister Onya and her contribution.
She invented the starting p**....
