Contrary Jokes
29 contrary jokes and hilarious contrary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about contrary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Contrary Short Jokes
Short contrary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The contrary humour may include short opposite jokes also.
- Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women... Just not very many
- I saw two names carved in a tree... I do not think its cute. On the contrary, its alarming how many people take a knife on a date.
- Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise. It was the pair on the ground!
- Contrary to popular belief, a pirate's favourite letter is not R. His first love is the C.
- Contrary to popular belief, Children are not a natural occurrence... Turns out they are Man-made.
- Contrary to popular belief, Santa was born in the USSR. If you had to deliver that many gifts in one night, you'd be Russian around too.
- If a man hits a woman while driving his car, who's fault is it? Contrary to popular belief, it is the man's fault. There is no reason for him to drive in the kitchen.
- For the English Q: What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary?
A: U.K. ? - I went to an owl party last night. Contrary to my expectations it wasn't very much fun at all.
- Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax.
Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.
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Contrary One Liners
Which contrary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with contrary? I can suggest the ones about opposite word and unlike.
- Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava but only once
- Contrary to popular beliefs, losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
- Iron Man's leg joint is contrary to what's expected. Iron knee.
- Contrary to popular belief, I'm an optimist I am confident that I'll die tomorrow
- Contrary to popular belief vampires do like stakes They are great gamblers
- contrary to popular belief... boko haram is not a street fighter character.
- Contrary to popular belief, most people have two legs, and forearms.
- Contrary to popular belief, Plumbers are not good lovers They are emotionally draining...
- Contrary to popular beliefs Saudi's have got no Princes
- I hate it when people call me contrary. I am *not* contrary!
Howlingly Hilarious Contrary Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about contrary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean opposite direction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make contrary pranks.
My wife sued for divorce because she said I couldn't get an e**....
I had evidence to the contrary, but it wouldn't stand up in court.
A French and British vampire walk into a bar
The French orders for a glass of champagne then mixes blood into it.
The British orders a cup of hot water, which makes the French surprised:
\- No tea?
\- Quite the contrary, my friend - The British replies - then pulls out a used t**... from his jacket
An American and a German are discussing freedom of speech.
The German says:
>Here in Germany, contrary to what a lot of you Americans think, we do have freedom of speech. Everyone here hates Putin, but I could walk right up to the Bundestag and proclaim: "I love Vladimir Putin!" And I wouldn't even be arrested!
The American replies:
>Ah, yes, but in the USA we're even freer. I could walk right up to the White House and shout "I love Vladimir Putin"... and they'd let me in!
Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.
It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That's right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!
Contrary to popular belief there was more s**... on the TV in the 50s and 60s than there is now.
Modern TVs can't support the weight.
Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see...
the n**... were known for rounding them up.
Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't s**....
If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica.
