Contrary Jokes

Following is our collection of frau puns and fact one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Contrary jokes for adults, dirty manatee jokes and clean reverse dad gags for kids.

The Best Contrary Puns

My wife sued for divorce because she said I couldn't get an erection.

I had evidence to the contrary, but it wouldn't stand up in court.

Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women...

Just not very many

Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava

but only once

A French and British vampire walk into a bar

The French orders for a glass of champagne then mixes blood into it.

The British orders a cup of hot water, which makes the French surprised:

\- No tea?

\- Quite the contrary, my friend - The British replies - then pulls out a used tampon from his jacket

An American and a German are discussing freedom of speech.

The German says:

>Here in Germany, contrary to what a lot of you Americans think, we do have freedom of speech. Everyone here hates Putin, but I could walk right up to the Bundestag and proclaim: "I love Vladimir Putin!" And I wouldn't even be arrested!

The American replies:

>Ah, yes, but in the USA we're even freer. I could walk right up to the White House and shout "I love Vladimir Putin"... and they'd let me in!

Contrary to popular beliefs, losing weight is a piece of cake.

Just don't pick it up.

I saw two names carved in a tree...

I do not think its cute. On the contrary, its alarming how many people take a knife on a date.

Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see...

the Nazis were known for rounding them up.

Contrary to popular belief there was more sex on the TV in the 50s and 60s than there is now.

Modern TVs can't support the weight.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm an optimist

I am confident that I'll die tomorrow

If a man hits a woman while driving his car, who's fault is it?

Contrary to popular belief, it is the man's fault. There is no reason for him to drive in the kitchen.

For the English

Q: What do you say to someone who appears to have done irreparable harm to themselves despite multiple warnings to the contrary?

A: U.K. ?

Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't suck.

If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica.

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful is contrary to the law, illegal is just a sick bird.

Contrary to popular belief vampires do like stakes

They are great gamblers

The contrary Mother-in-law

A neighbor came running to Nasserddin Hodja's house with the news that the Hodja's mother-in-law had been washing her laundry in the river when she fell into the water and drowned. "And we cannot find her body," he continued. "We searched everywhere downstream for her, but all to no avail."

"You should have searched upstream," replied the Hodja. "My mother-in-law is so contrary that she would never go with the flow."

I went to an owl party last night.

Contrary to my expectations it wasn't very much fun at all.

Contrary to popular belief, most people have two legs, and forearms.

Contrary to popular myth, Owls are actually quite stupid.

Which is why a group of them is called a Parliament.

Contrary to popular belief...

... the current President of the US is **not** from Orange County, CA.

Scientists recently discovered that contrary to popular belief, all natural mushrooms are edible

Albeit some you can only eat them once...

Contrary to rumor Caitlin Jenner's reality show is not being cancelled.

It's just transitioning to a different network.

Contrary to popular belief, Plumbers are not good lovers

They are emotionally draining...

Contrary to popular belief, Stalin was from Georgia, not Russia.

Stalin wasn't Russian anywhere.

I am being accused of stealing a horse. I said I didn't do it.

They said there is mounting evidence to the contrary.

contrary to popular belief...

boko haram is not a street fighter character.

There is an abundance of abolish jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 26 funniest jokes and contrary puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any niggardly witze you can hear about contrary.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes