The Best 16 Contracts Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Contracts jokes. There are some contracts srs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these contracts websites puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Contracts Jokes and Puns

A lawyer contracts a cold for two hours. What does he have?

A brief case.

Florida man contracts herpes while checking his birthday prostitute's mouth for sores

As meemum used to say, "you shouldn't look gift whores in the mouth"

Grandma made a bet with John that if he didn't eat 25 dumplings, he would clean the apartment

John eats the 24th dumpling, but the 25th is not in the plate ... That's all you need to know about drafting contracts.

Contracts joke, Grandma made a bet with John that if he didn't eat 25 dumplings, he would clean the apartment

Elder Scrolls Joke

Yo momma's so fat the dark brotherhood needs two contracts to get her

So a guy orders a five dollar prostitute and contracts crabs from her, the next day the man calls the agency to complain

The receptionist answers with For five dollars what did you expect, lobster?

A man goes to a $10 sex worker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the sex worker laughs and says, "What do you expect for ten dollars? Lobster?"

How do you get out of a relationship if your partner contracts Ebola?


Contracts joke, How do you get out of a relationship if your partner contracts Ebola?

My friend rents out broken kites, no contracts or lease required.

No strings attached

Disclaimer: I know this joke is stupid. My 5 year old nephew did not tell me this.

Local gay man contracts HIV while filming Livestream

Latest reports say he is now going viral

Why is Santa considered a trickster?

His contracts always have hidden clauses

You can never find loopholes in contracts with spacecrafts.

They're always airtight.

You can explore contracts clauses reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean contracts fappening dad jokes. There are also contracts puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Where does Daredevil sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

*Revised from an earlier attempt.

How do blind people sign contracts?

On the dotted line.

My law firm specializes in grain futures contracts.

Barley Legal

I like my sex like I like signing my contracts.

With affirmative consent.

Geometry is like Jersey Shore

Allways tanning, sinning, and consigning contracts.

Contracts joke, Geometry is like Jersey Shore

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the contracts latest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working contracts terms piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes