The Best 11 Contractors Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Contractors jokes. There are some contractors fence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these contractors hire puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Contractors Jokes and Puns

Why can't contractors shoot each other with sealant?

Because caulk fighting is illegal.

Pentagon Contract

A contractor arrives home from Washington, D.C. and proudly tells his wife that he's gotten the contract to fix a cracked walkway into the Pentagon.

Two other contractors showed up to bid on the job, he explained to her. One was from Minnesota, the other from Tennessee. All three of us went to the Pentagon with an official to examine the cracked walkway.

The Minnesota contractor took out a tape measure, did some measuring, then worked some figures with a pencil.

'Well,' he said, 'I can do the job for about $9,000: $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'

The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.

The Tennessee contractor then did the same, measuring and figuring, and then he said, 'I can do this job for $7,000. $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew, and $1,000 for me.'

The Pentagon official told him to write up his bid and send it in for consideration.

I didn't measure anything. I just pulled the Pentagon official aside and whispered, I can do the job for $27,000.

The official was incredulous and said, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such an incredibly high figure?'

I whispered, '$10,000 for you, $10, 000 for me, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the walkway.

Did you hear Daft Punk is partnering with NASA to solicit bids from contractors?

They're up all night to get Lockheed.

Contractors joke, Did you hear Daft Punk is partnering with NASA to solicit bids from contractors?

Apparently calling people terrorists if offensive now.

Ive been told the correct term is government contractors.

How many contractors does it take to screw in a light blub?

None, it's a union job.


How many contractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I'll let you know when one of them calls me back.

Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

Because they always take a fence

Contractors joke, Why aren't Tumblr users good farm contractors?

What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance?

Dewalts

How many contractors does it take to replace a light globe?

Two. One to buy the wrong size globe, and another to replace the existing light fitting to suit the new globe.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

You can explore contractors walkway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean contractors tradesmen dad jokes. There are also contractors puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the contractors landscaper jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working contractors contractor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes