Contraceptive Jokes

Following is our collection of vasectomies puns and clinical one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Contraceptive jokes for adults, dirty injections jokes and clean aspirin dad gags for kids.

The Best Contraceptive Puns

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

What does a feminist use as a contraceptive?

Her personality

House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...

... so they just pulled out instead.

Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill?

You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.

If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company

Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?

There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,

you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

Did you know the Scottish invented condoms?

They would use the intestines of sheep as a contraceptive.
The English then refined the idea by taking the intestines out of the sheep first.

Two girls in a Catholic convent school.

One whispers to the other: "There's a contraceptive hidden behind the radiator!"

The other whispers back: "What's a radiator?"

How does a male contraceptive pill work?

You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

The Welsh have been using sheep intestine as a contraceptive for hundreds of years.

It is only recently that they have decided to take the intestine out of the sheep.

Today I found out that I have an additional risk factor for heart disease.

Apparently I am on an oral contraceptive.

Every time my wife is in the mood for sex, I say something stupid and suddenly she has a headache.

I tried to visit the contraceptive museum

But they wouldn't let me come inside.

In a pinch, you can cut the fingers off of rubber gloves and use each of them as a contraceptive.

Just a handy tip.

Define contraceptive pill?

It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy!

I tried this new oral contraceptive

I asked a girl to have sex with me and she said no

What is the best contraceptive for old people?


Someone asked what contraceptive I use.

I said "I'm just really nice to women. "

If you don't use contraceptives.

Then you've got nuttin to worry about.

Two little girls are playing together when one say's to the other, "I found a contraceptive on the patio yesterday."

A little confused, her friend responded by asking, "What the heck is a patio?"

My contraceptive method is 100 percent effective.

I just use my personality.

Scientists just discovered a contraceptive better than a condom

It's called your face

What's the best contraceptive?

A ginger hair dye

There is an abundance of cosmetic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 22 funniest jokes and contraceptive puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any calcium witze you can hear about contraceptive.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes