The Best 22 Contraceptive Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Contraceptive jokes. There are some contraceptive clinical jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these contraceptive aspirin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Contraceptive Jokes and Puns

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

What does a feminist use as a contraceptive?

Her personality

House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...

... so they just pulled out instead.

Contraceptive joke, House republicans couldn't agree on contraceptive coverage...

Have you heard about the new male contraceptive pill?

You put it in your shoe, and it makes you limp.

Did you know the Scottish invented condoms?

They would use the intestines of sheep as a contraceptive.
The English then refined the idea by taking the intestines out of the sheep first.

If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company

Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?

There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,

you put it in your shoe, it makes you limp.

Contraceptive joke, There is a new male contraceptive device. It's a pill,

Two girls in a Catholic convent school.

One whispers to the other: "There's a contraceptive hidden behind the radiator!"

The other whispers back: "What's a radiator?"

How does a male contraceptive pill work?

You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

The Welsh have been using sheep intestine as a contraceptive for hundreds of years.

It is only recently that they have decided to take the intestine out of the sheep.

Today I found out that I have an additional risk factor for heart disease.

Apparently I am on an oral contraceptive.

Every time my wife is in the mood for sex, I say something stupid and suddenly she has a headache.

You can explore contraceptive vasectomies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean contraceptive injections dad jokes. There are also contraceptive puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I tried to visit the contraceptive museum

But they wouldn't let me come inside.

In a pinch, you can cut the fingers off of rubber gloves and use each of them as a contraceptive.

Just a handy tip.

Define contraceptive pill?

It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy!

I tried this new oral contraceptive

I asked a girl to have sex with me and she said no

What is the best contraceptive for old people?


Contraceptive joke, What is the best contraceptive for old people?

Someone asked what contraceptive I use.

I said "I'm just really nice to women. "

If you don't use contraceptives.

Then you've got nuttin to worry about.

Two little girls are playing together when one say's to the other, "I found a contraceptive on the patio yesterday."

A little confused, her friend responded by asking, "What the heck is a patio?"

My contraceptive method is 100 percent effective.

I just use my personality.

Scientists just discovered a contraceptive better than a condom

It's called your face

What's the best contraceptive?

A ginger hair dye

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the contraceptive cosmetic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working contraceptive calcium piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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