Contra Jokes
35 contra jokes and hilarious contra puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about contra that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Contra Short Jokes
Short contra jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The contra humour may include short counter jokes also.
- If they make a new Contra game with the original one as a minigame inside it... Will it be a contraception?
- Our priest decided to let us play video game music in church... ...but it was Contra-verse-al.
- TIL in 1988 the Konami sound department was arrested They were apparently dealing with Contra Band.
- Did you hear about Vampire Weekend's bus driver? He got arrested for smuggling Contra band.
- Saw a new movie the other day... It was about a guy who dreamt he was a c**....
It was called Contra-ception.
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Contra One Liners
Which contra one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with contra? I can suggest the ones about anti and cons.
- Why does a gamer never have kids after watching Inception? Because contra-ception.
- Why can't two guys frot during a 69? It's contra-dickery!
- What do you call a c**... inside a c**... Contra-inception
Comical & Quirky Contra Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about contra you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean combat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make contra pranks.
I had a contractor joke...
But I ran out of material.
Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women...
Just not very many
Why can't contractors shoot each other with sealant?
Because caulk fighting is i**....
Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava
but only once
If contraception is birth control...
... abortion is birth control-alt-delete.
My ex said I was a contrarian
I disagree.
Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous.
What's your name?
Contrary to popular beliefs, losing weight is a piece of cake.
Just don't pick it up.
I don't always contradict myself,
but when I do, I don't.
Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.
It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That's right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!
What did the contractor say to the impatient customer?
We are doing asbestos we can
Contradicting Coronavirus advice!
First, we hear alcohol may prevent the virus... now research suggests the opposite. Then we're told heat and humidity has no effect, but wait... direct sunlight might quickly kill the virus. So, if you come across some elderly bloke, standing in the yard, intoxicated and n**..., leave me alone... I'm conducting important medical research.
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.
It was the pair on the ground!
Contrary to popular belief, a pirate's favourite letter is not R.
His first love is the C.
Contrary to popular belief, Children are not a natural occurrence...
Turns out they are Man-made.
What did the contrarian rooster say?
Cockle-Doodle-Don't.
Contrary to popular belief, Santa was born in the USSR.
If you had to deliver that many gifts in one night, you'd be Russian around too.
Contrary to popular belief there was more s**... on the TV in the 50s and 60s than there is now.
Modern TVs can't support the weight.
Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see...
the n**... were known for rounding them up.
How many contractors does it take to screw in a light blub?
None, it's a union job.
Since I contracted Covid-19 our s**... life has been so much better
Seeing as I can't smell or taste.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm an optimist
I am confident that I'll die tomorrow
I often contradict myself
No, I don't.
How many contractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I'll let you know when one of them calls me back.
Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?
"Follow Your Dreams."
-Freddy Kreuger, 2016
What is the best contraceptive for old people?
n**...
Everyone's a contrarian these days...
Well, except for me of course.
What contract does Mall-Santa sign?
A Santa Clause
What do you contract from unprotected s**... with a c**...?
Gonor*yeeeeehaaaa!*
There are many contradictory statements like...
Pacifist mass m**..., Clinton keeping emails, and Apple is innovative.
