Contra Jokes

These are 32 contra jokes and hilarious contra puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about contra that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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jokes about contra

Best Short Contra Jokes

These are our top contra puns. Have fun with a good contra joke in English with simple contra humour.

  1. If they make a new Contra game with the original one as a minigame inside it... Will it be a contraception?
  2. Our priest decided to let us play video game music in church... ...but it was Contra-verse-al.
  3. TIL in 1988 the Konami sound department was arrested They were apparently dealing with Contra Band.
  4. Did you hear about Vampire Weekend's bus driver? He got arrested for smuggling Contra band.
  5. Saw a new movie the other day... It was about a guy who dreamt he was a c**....
    It was called Contra-ception.
Contra joke, Saw a new movie the other day...

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these contra jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of contra puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Contra One Liners

Which contra dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with contra?

  1. Why does a gamer never have kids after watching Inception? Because contra-ception.
  2. Why can't two guys frot during a 69? It's contra-dickery!
  3. What do you call a c**... inside a c**... Contra-inception

Contra joke, What do you call a c**... inside a c**...

Comical & Quirky Contra Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about contra to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make contra prank.

I had a contractor joke...

But I ran out of material.

Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women...

Just not very many

Why can't contractors shoot each other with sealant?

Because caulk fighting is i**....

Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava

but only once

If contraception is birth control...

... abortion is birth control-alt-delete.

My ex said I was a contrarian

I disagree.

Hello and welcome to Contradictions Anonymous.

What's your name?

Contrary to popular beliefs, losing weight is a piece of cake.

Just don't pick it up.

I don't always contradict myself,

but when I do, I don't.

Contrary to what historians will tell you, Napoleon had a more horrific death.

It turns out, the military leader had walked over an active land mine causing it to explode. Body parts were strewn all over the place. Yeah. That's right. Napoleon was Blown-apart!

What did the contractor say to the impatient customer?

We are doing asbestos we can

Contradicting Coronavirus advice!

First, we hear alcohol may prevent the virus... now research suggests the opposite. Then we're told heat and humidity has no effect, but wait... direct sunlight might quickly kill the virus. So, if you come across some elderly bloke, standing in the yard, intoxicated and n**..., leave me alone... I'm conducting important medical research.

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.

It was the pair on the ground!

Contrary to popular belief, a pirate's favourite letter is not R.

His first love is the C.

Contrary to popular belief, Children are not a natural occurrence...

Turns out they are Man-made.

What did the contrarian rooster say?


Contrary to popular belief, Santa was born in the USSR.

If you had to deliver that many gifts in one night, you'd be Russian around too.

Contrary to popular belief there was more s**... on the TV in the 50s and 60s than there is now.

Modern TVs can't support the weight.

Contrary to common belief, only 5.7 million Jews were killed during the Holocuast, for you see...

the n**... were known for rounding them up.

How many contractors does it take to screw in a light blub?

None, it's a union job.

Since I contracted Covid-19 our s**... life has been so much better

Seeing as I can't smell or taste.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm an optimist

I am confident that I'll die tomorrow

I often contradict myself

No, I don't.

How many contractors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I'll let you know when one of them calls me back.

Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?

"Follow Your Dreams."
-Freddy Kreuger, 2016

What is the best contraceptive for old people?


Everyone's a contrarian these days...

Well, except for me of course.

What contract does Mall-Santa sign?

A Santa Clause

What do you contract from unprotected s**... with a c**...?


There are many contradictory statements like...

Pacifist mass m**..., Clinton keeping emails, and Apple is innovative.

Contra joke, There are many contradictory statements like...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these contra jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.