Contortionist Jokes

Following is our collection of flexible puns and acrobatic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Contortionist jokes for adults, dirty tightrope jokes and clean performer dad gags for kids.

The Best Contortionist Puns

What do you call a Filipino contortionist?

A manila folder!!!

There was a contortionist competition being held

So I entered myself, and won

what do you call a contortionist from the Philippines?

a Manilla folder

The circus near my house started a competition to find the best contortionist

So I entered myself, and won.

My grandfather used to earn a living as a contortionist

But lately he's struggling to make ends meet.


Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist?

It was to cucumbersome.

My contortionist girlfriend does anything to keep me happy!

She bends over backwards for me.

I dated a contortionist once.

It didn't last, she was all wrapped up in herself.

So, I told that contortionist that I didn't care much for his act.

...And he gets all bent out of shape about it.

When should contortionists get together for coffee?

It doesn't matter, they're flexible.

What do you get when you have a contortionist applying for a job as a timekeeper?

Someone who can be flexible with their hours.


Did you hear about the contortionist fortune teller?

She could foresee her own end.

Contortionist dancer

Would a contortionist exotic dancer whose act seems to go on forever be known as a Mobius Stripper?

An out of work contortionist.....

says he's having trouble making ends meet

Met a contortionist, said, "When you wanna get sexual?"

She said, "However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible."

When the circus came to town they ran a competition to find the best contortionist..

..so I entered myself and won

I asked my wife if she was a contortionist...

And she got totally bent out of shape.

How do you stop a contortionist from drowning









You take his foot off of his head

Interviewer: In a nutshell, tell me how you became an extreme contortionist.

Contortionist: That might be pushing it.


I asked my girlfriend if she was a contortionist...

She said no and got bent out of shape.

Yo mama so stupid

She thinks a manila folder is a Filipino contortionist.

How many contortionists fit in the trunk of a regular sedan?

Depends on the size of the pieces.

There is an abundance of weinstein jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 22 funniest jokes and contortionist puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any hetero witze you can hear about contortionist.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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