Continental Jokes
30 continental jokes and hilarious continental puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about continental that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of jokes related to the continental drift and the unique quirks of travelling throughout Europe and the Arctic. From airplane moments to humorous encounters with nature, these jokes will have you giggling.
Funniest Continental Short Jokes
Short continental jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The continental humour may include short south jokes also.
- I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
- A chinese man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says "You have cataract. " and the chinese guy says "No, I have a rinkin continental."
- Volcanic eruptions are just the earth rubbing one out If you catch my continental drift. (;
- Are tectonic plates dishwasher safe? Not sure, but they are great for a continental breakfast.
- I liked it better when Donald Trump used to say "you're fired" to people instead of to inter-continental ballistic missiles.
- Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much? Because they did not have proper tea.
- I recently drove through Dallas in a Lincoln Continental The guy in the back was really nervous for some reason.
- What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year? Avo, CA does.
- Q: How many soldiers did the British Empite need to win a war in continental Europe? A: Zero, Continental Allies will do all the fighting and the British Empire will take the credit.
- Instead of a wall on the Mexican border, Trump could build a dome over the continental U.S. They'll call it: The Freedome.
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Continental One Liners
Which continental one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with continental? I can suggest the ones about contained and central.
- What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates.
- Where does the ocean store its stuff? On the Continental shelf.
- What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!
- What did the one continental plate say to the other after the earthquake... not MY fault
- in japan 2/3 population hava cataracts the other 1/3 have rincon continental
- My mom slid across the tub this morning… Continental drift is REAL people
- What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe? The Continental OP.
Gather Around for Fun Continental Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about continental you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean province jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make continental pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.
and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.
Trans-continental blonde ....
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
An Asian goes to the optometrist...
The optometrist says, after a moment or two: "I see what the problem is...you have a cataract."
The Asian immediately replies: "no no, it's a Rincon Continental."
My dad told me today that we're distantly related to the Fugarwii Tribe of Native Americans.
This tribe was nomadic, and would wander all over the continental US. Unfortunately, as a tribe, they had a terrible sense of direction and would often get horribly lost.
The Fugarwii had scouts who's soul purpose was to remedy this: they would scout about, find the tallest mountain they could, and scale the mountain to its peak.
Once there, they would look about with their hand over their eyes like a visor. Then, the lead scout would turn to face the others and say "where the Fugarwii"
Did you hear about that Arnold guy?
I heard he's really Ben-a-dict to the continental army!
