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Continental Jokes

35 continental jokes and hilarious continental puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about continental that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A collection of jokes related to the continental drift and the unique quirks of travelling throughout Europe and the Arctic. From airplane moments to humorous encounters with nature, these jokes will have you giggling.

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Funniest Continental Short Jokes

Short continental jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The continental humour may include short south jokes also.

  1. I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
  2. A chinese man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says "You have cataract. " and the chinese guy says "No, I have a rinkin continental."
  3. Volcanic eruptions are just the earth rubbing one out If you catch my continental drift. (;
  4. Are tectonic plates dishwasher safe? Not sure, but they are great for a continental breakfast.
  5. A Chinese man goes to the eye doctor complaining of poor eyesight in his left eye. The doctor says I see you have a cataract . The Chinese man says, "No I don't...I have a rincoln continental."
  6. I liked it better when Donald Trump used to say "you're fired" to people instead of to inter-continental ballistic missiles.
  7. Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much? Because they did not have proper tea.
  8. I recently drove through Dallas in a Lincoln Continental The guy in the back was really nervous for some reason.
  9. So a chinese man walks into an eye doctor. The eye doctor says "Well, you've got cataracts"
    The chinese man says "No, I have Rincon Continental!"
  10. What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year? Avo, CA does.

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Continental One Liners

Which continental one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with continental? I can suggest the ones about cons and contained.

  1. What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates.
  2. Where does the ocean store its stuff? On the Continental shelf.
  3. What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast? ... a tectonic plate!
  4. What sort of plate do you serve a continental breakfast on? Tectonic
  5. What did the one continental plate say to the other after the earthquake... not MY fault
  6. Yo momma's so fat... ..._John Wick 3_ had to stop filming 'cause she ate the Continental!
  7. in japan 2/3 population hava cataracts the other 1/3 have rincon continental
  8. My mom slid across the tub this morning… Continental drift is REAL people
  9. What is the correct way to refer to an OP who resides in Europe? The Continental OP.

Continental Europe Jokes

Here is a list of funny continental europe jokes and even better continental europe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Q: How many soldiers did the British Empite need to win a war in continental Europe? A: Zero, Continental Allies will do all the fighting and the British Empire will take the credit.
Continental joke, Q: How many soldiers did the British Empite need to win a war in continental Europe?

Gather Around for Fun Continental Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about continental you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean central jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make continental pranks.

In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"

Brexit fallout: my French Toast has just surrendered to my English Muffins. Germany is sending in the Luftwaffle... these events could engulf the entire continental breakfast.

and my Irish coffee is drunk. Again.

A Chinese Man goes to the eye doctor

A Chinese guy goes to an eye doctor and the doctor says,
"I know why you've been having trouble. you have a cataract." and the Chinese guy says, "No I drive a rincon continental,"

A c**... goes to the eye doctor..

After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The c**... says, "Why?" Doctor said, "You have a cataract." c**... says, "No, I have a Rincoln Continental."

Asian eye problems

So a Chinese man is having trouble with one of his eyes and goes to see the optometrist. When the testing is over, the optometrist tells the man, "I'm sorry, you have a cataract" in which the Chinese man replies "No I dont! I have a rinkoln continental!"

A c**... goes to the eye doctor....

Eye doctor says "You've got a cataract."
c**... says "No, I drive Rincoln Continental."

So a c**... goes to the eye doctor

and after giving a check up, the doctor says, "I see what the problem is: you have a cataract."
"No I don't," the c**... responds, "I drive a Lincoln Continental."

Trans-continental blonde ....

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

An Asian goes to the optometrist...

The optometrist says, after a moment or two: "I see what the problem is...you have a cataract."
The Asian immediately replies: "no no, it's a Rincon Continental."

(From Grandpa RIP) A c**... walks into an optometrist's office. The optometrist says, Well it seems like you have a cataract.

The c**... says Nooooo, I drive a Rincoln Continental

Continental joke, (From Grandpa RIP) A c**... walks into an optometrist's office. The optometrist says,  Well it seems