Container Jokes
78 container jokes and hilarious container puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about container that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this collection of funny container jokes! Learn the differences between a container ship and a docker container, and why pouring a gallon of water into a crate doesn't work. Get ready for some fun with container jokes!
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Funniest Container Short Jokes
Short container jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The container humour may include short contained jokes also.
- SCUBA is an acronym for "Self contained underwater breathing apparatus". Tuba is also an acronym. It stands for "terrible underwater breathing apparatus"
- We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
- What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
- My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats "That's nut!" I exclaimed.
- There's a reason dad joke rhymes with bad joke It's because they both contain most of the same letters.
- I tried changing my password to "Twilight". It said "Error: contains too many useless characters"
- My father told me that his password is "MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLouieDeweyDublin" Because he was told his password should contain at least 8 characters and one capital.
- PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, "You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a justin bieber concert.
- I've got a pretty long Police record.... It's a full 44 minutes long and contains "Every Breath You Take"
- When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote.
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Container One Liners
Which container one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with container? I can suggest the ones about controller and anchor.
- What start with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter? An envelope.
- Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.
- What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine
- What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines? adults
- I need you to make a container with finite temperature and infinite volume No pressure
- What haircut contains bullets? Ammohawk.
- I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.
- What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common? They both contain IC BMs.
- Which three words contains the most letters? The post office.
- I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content
- What document is guaranteed to only contain the truth? Fax
- IBM succumbs to feminist pressure Booleans can now contain the value "maybe".
- What kind of plant contains every known element? A chemis-tree.
- What do you call a jealous container? An envylope.
- Is there a word that contains all the vowels, including Y? Unquestionably.
Shipping Container Jokes
Here is a list of funny shipping container jokes and even better shipping container puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a shipping container full of snails? Escargo
- How efficient is shipping goods in a large metal container? Semi
- Did you hear about the new xbox brand bulk shipping container? It was an xbox xbox box box.
Docker Container Jokes
Here is a list of funny docker container jokes and even better docker container puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What Do You Call A Container Full Of Goods Headed To A War-Stricken Country? Dockers Without Borders
Uproarious Container Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about container you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean collector jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make container pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Warning: This movie may contain n**....
Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time.
Found 4 fox cubs
I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu
For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!
Eat the watermelons
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE! "
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that beer contains female hormones?
It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car.
All apologies to the fairer s**....
Please enter your new password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf
YouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife's side of the bed
The box contained two ears of corn and $4000. He went to his wife
Farmer: What's this?
Wife: I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.
The farmer gasps, then thinks "50 years of marriage...only twice..that's not too awful.
Farmer: What about the $4000?
Wife: Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.
CREATE PASSWORD -
"123Bob".
Password must contain no names, be complex and have over 50 characters.
"GameOfThrones"
Password accepted.
Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless
Your beauty cannot be contained by the set of all real numbers.
That's because it's imaginary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's an email going around that claims to include a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton
Don't open it. It contains a n**... photo of Hillary Clinton.
Milk joke
Walmart on a sunday night. Place is dead, my dad and I are stopping to grab some milk. Just a gallon. Go up to the cashier, she rings us up and we pay for it.
"Would you like a bag for that sir?" She asks us
My dad's swift reply: "No I'll keep it in the container, last time I put it in the bag it spilled everywhere."
First post hope you like it. :)
I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Female hormones in a beer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, s**... and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady came in for a routine physical at the doctor's office.
Here , said the nurse, handing her a u**... specimen container. The bathroom is over there on your right.
The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.
A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face.
Thanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn't need this after all!
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Give a man a loot box that MIGHT contain a fish and you'll get paid FOREVERRR!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think t**... is a bad name for a c**... brand...
...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...
After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study.
It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE .
When we opened it, all it contained was gran's phone number.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves
Looks like the boa cons tricked her
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise
I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years
Therefore, if you c**... two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!
Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?
Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.
I was trying to pull a girl in a bar, so I asked her 'What part of my body is as long as your thigh, contains over 120 muscles, and is an anagram of "pensi"?'
It was as she pulled my pants down in the bedroom five minutes later that I revealed the answer was my spine.
A stranger gave me a really old metal box...
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
Kim Jong Un decided to send donald trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
Uber driver came to return woman's lost purse
Woman : Thanks but..it is so weird because I remember it containing only a single 100$ note, but now there are ten 10$ notes inside it. How's that possible?
Man: Yeah because everytime I had gone to return someone's wallet or purse, they said they don't have any change to reward me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their s**... life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.
Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.
A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.
Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."
She fainted.
The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.
If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!
There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, Two thousand five hundred!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two doctors, Jenkins and Smith, are treating a man with lung disease.
They're explaining how him smoking w**... led to his condition worsening.
But it's just herbal! the patient protested. How can it be bad?
Dr Jenkins sighed. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just ten minutes, you will die. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe for you!
The man seemed to accept that, and after he and the doctors parted ways, Dr Smith asked, What is that plant that kills you if you sit under it?
A water lily.
One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????
My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, "sir, I thought 'H' was silent.
During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.
A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago
A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.
How to make money off Valentine's Day
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer. He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing." "Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says. "But why?" the bartender asks. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
Remember if you lose a sock in the dryer....
....it comes back as a Tupperware lid, that doesn't fit any of your containers.
The kidnap
A blonde is running a little short of cash, so she goes to the playground and kidnaps Johnny.
She takes him to her home and writes a note:
\- If you want to see Johnny again, leave $10,000 in unmarked bills in a plain paper bag by the merry-go-round at the playground by 8 AM tomorrow. Signed, A Blonde.
She pins the note to Johnny's shirt and sends him home.
In the morning she goes to the playground, and sure enough, there is the plain brown bag containing a large stack of bills, along with a note that reads,
\- How could you do this to a fellow blonde?
My grandfather died a few days ago after a long and debilitating illness, but he always managed to keep his good sense of humour.
Today I received an Amazon parcel containing a Ouija Board, and a note with a smiley face saying "Let's keep in touch."
A Taxing Situation
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
*As published in "Reader's Digest" 78 years ago.*
Why did the tomato turn red?
Well, you see, the tomato belongs to a family of plants called Solanaceae, which contains a pigment called lycopene. When the tomato begins to ripen, the chlorophyll in the fruit starts to break down, allowing the lycopene to become more visible. As a result, the tomato appears to turn from a greenish color to a bright red hue, indicating that it is now fully ripe and ready to be eaten. So, to answer your question, the tomato turned red due to a complex biological process involving the breakdown of chlorophyll and the activation of lycopene, which is a natural pigment found in the fruit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just found an envelope containing several severed fingers in my mailbox
It was weird because we don't usually get mail on Sundays
When I heard about Russell's Paradox, I got so excited...
I didn't know if I could contain myself!
