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Contained Jokes

45 contained jokes and hilarious contained puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about contained that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Contained Short Jokes

Short contained jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The contained humour may include short included jokes also.

  1. Chinese takeout $20.00.. Gas to pick it up $10.00.. Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers..
    Riceless
  2. SCUBA is an acronym for "Self contained underwater breathing apparatus". Tuba is also an acronym. It stands for "terrible underwater breathing apparatus"
  3. We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.
  4. Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers: Riceless
  5. What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
  6. My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats "That's nut!" I exclaimed.
  7. There's a reason dad joke rhymes with bad joke It's because they both contain most of the same letters.
  8. Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(
  9. I tried changing my password to "Twilight". It said "Error: contains too many useless characters"
  10. Chinese takeout: $10.25. Gas to get there and back: $3.25. Realizing that you got all the way home without one of the containers: riceless

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Contained One Liners

Which contained one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with contained? I can suggest the ones about bound and collapsed.

  1. What start with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter? An envelope.
  2. Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.
  3. What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine
  4. What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines? adults
  5. Why is Tumblr bad for you? Because it contains too much Transfat.
  6. I need you to make a container with finite temperature and infinite volume No pressure
  7. What haircut contains bullets? Ammohawk.
  8. I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start.
  9. What do a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common? They both contain IC BMs.
  10. Which three words contains the most letters? The post office.
  11. I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content
  12. What document is guaranteed to only contain the truth? Fax
  13. I like my women like I like my viruses. Safely contained on my laptop.
  14. IBM succumbs to feminist pressure Booleans can now contain the value "maybe".
  15. A fire hydrant contains H20 on the inside. And K9P on the outside.

Contained Underwater Jokes

Here is a list of funny contained underwater jokes and even better contained underwater puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Most people know 'SCUBA' is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, but did you know 'TUBA' is also an acronym? Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
  • S.C.U.B.A.: Self contained underwater breating apparatus.
    T.U.B.A.:
    Terrible underwater breathing apparatus.
  • SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym... For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
  • Do you know what SCUBA stands for? Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
    Do you know what TUBA stands for?
    Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
  • Scuba is an acronym Scuba stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. But tuba is also an acronym. It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Contained joke, Scuba is an acronym

Cheerful Fun Contained Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about contained you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean located jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make contained pranks.

Kim Jong Un decided to send donald trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.

He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.

A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago

A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.

Found 4 fox cubs

I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."
"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

Two doctors, Jenkins and Smith, are treating a man with lung disease.

They're explaining how him smoking w**... led to his condition worsening.
But it's just herbal! the patient protested. How can it be bad?
Dr Jenkins sighed. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just ten minutes, you will die. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe for you!
The man seemed to accept that, and after he and the doctors parted ways, Dr Smith asked, What is that plant that kills you if you sit under it?
A water lily.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.

Female hormones in a beer

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

I called animal Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing four kittens."

That's terrible," she replied, "We're they moving?
I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were that would explain the suitcase.

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online

A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves
Looks like the boa cons tricked her

I think t**... is a bad name for a c**... brand...

...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...

SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, but did you know TUBA is also an acronym? Yeah really. It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

Compliments of Hank Green

Contained joke, SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, but did you know TUBA is also