Cont Jokes
86 cont jokes and hilarious cont puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cont that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Cont Jokes With Friends
Playful Cont Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What is a good cont joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A context joke
Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.
Context is everything
"Jesus loves you!"
A lovely thing to hear in church. Not so much in a Mexican prison.
If contraception is birth control...
... abortion is birth control-alt-delete.
Self control
I stopped a girl getting r**... today.
I used self-control.
Why were there only 49 contestants in the National Ebonics Beauty Pageant?
Nobody wanted to wear the sash that says "Idaho".
There has been some controversy regarding priests delivering sermons using an iPad instead of the traditional bible.
I think its perfectly fine. After all, Moses delivered the ten commandments using two tablets.
At a contest, I was asked to name one thing that is found in cells
Apparently 'Mexicans' was not the right answer
Without context, where would we be?
Joke is the title. If you don't get it, think about it a bit.
Continuing the apparent theme of i**... jokes...
How do you circumcise a boy from Missouri?
You kick his sister in the chin.
How do you contact dead window cleaners?
Use a squeegee board.
The control for the air conditioner was so far away
It was not even remotely close
Contagious
"Right class," said the teacher. "Who can make a sentence with the word 'contagious'?"
Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly.
"Yes, Johnny?"
"My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said, 'Blimey, that'll take the contageous!'"
When should contortionists get together for coffee?
It doesn't matter, they're flexible.
Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava
but only once
I have used contact lenses my whole life...
I can apply them with my eyes closed.
This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.
How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?
What is the best contraceptive for old people?
n**...
Context is important.
Context is important. It's fine to say "I'm coming!" when you're running to catch a bus, but totally inappropriate to say the same thing when you're on it.
Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women...
Just not very many
Contest in Girls College About s**... and Mystery
Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, s**... and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."
Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever?
"Follow Your Dreams."
-Freddy Kreuger, 2016
Why is I such a controlling letter?
Because I said so.
Share These Cont Jokes With Friends
