The Best 21 Consumption Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Consumption jokes. There are some consumption eliminate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these consumption dependency puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Consumption Jokes and Puns

My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do...

They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!

A Simple Guide to Cake Consumption

If it's 1 o'clock and you're not hungry enough to eat the whole cake, eat half of it now and the other half in an hour. You can halve your cake and eat at 2.

A world with the undead

Imagine a world where zombies exist, but they're not dangerous. Just like you and I every day, except they eat brains.
The government has decided that humans can donate their organ to zombies for consumption.
Everything is pretty much back to normal.

A man and a woman end up going on a first date. They make everyday small talk.

The man says, "So, what do you do for a living?"

The woman responds, "Actually, I'm dead."

Consumption joke, A world with the undead

LPT: Remember, besides blueberries, anything blue in the wild is poisonous and not fit for consumption....

The same rule applies to video game cartridges.

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die


What do you call a bunch of capitalists dying of tuberculosis?

Mass consumption

I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers

It's called absinthe-theism.

Consumption joke, I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside i

I've reduced my wine consumption to just one glass before bed

I went to bed 7 times last night

You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups

Simply by getting a bigger mug.

The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public

reports say consumption has reached an all-time high

A new study was released linking caffiene consumption and news media coverage.

The link was strongest among those in the French press. (Sory)

You can explore consumption regulations reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consumption alcoholism dad jokes. There are also consumption puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?

All of them. Because that will generate employment and therefore more consumption, shifting the aggregate demand to the right.

What do 21st Century Americans and Jane Austen have in common?

Cause of death: Consumption.

TIL that excessive consumption of raw egg white can cause brittle hair, rashes, fungal infection, and anemia...

I then imagined the hairless, hideous, and weak beast Gaston should have looked like.

While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth

I consumed consumption.

My doctor told me my soda consumption was the cause of my diabetes...

so I switched to diet soda, and now I only have diet-betes.

Consumption joke, My doctor told me my soda consumption was the cause of my diabetes...

I can't condone the consumption of dairy.

I was raised lactose intolerant.

I'm pro-food...

Because life begins at consumption

Good way to reduce alcohol consumption

William Sexfear's one good way to reduce alcohol consumption..

Before marriage- Drink whenever you are sad.

After marriage- Drink whenever you are happy.


According to the Laws of Thermodynamics...

Open consumption of alcohol is an offense. My advice is to steer clear of the town of Thermodynamics.

Man goes to doctors office

Doctor asks about his alcohol consumption. "I only drink when I am having a party."
"So often do you have a party?" "Whenever I have any alcohol"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the consumption decrease jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working consumption economic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes