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Consumption Jokes

26 consumption jokes and hilarious consumption puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consumption that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Consumption Short Jokes

Short consumption jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The consumption humour may include short consuming jokes also.

  1. My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do... They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!
  2. A Simple Guide to Cake Consumption If it's 1 o'clock and you're not hungry enough to eat the whole cake, eat half of it now and the other half in an hour. You can halve your cake and eat at 2.
  3. LPT: Remember, besides blueberries, anything blue in the wild is poisonous and not fit for consumption.... The same rule applies to video game cartridges.
  4. I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers It's called absinthe-theism.
  5. I've reduced my wine consumption to just one glass before bed I went to bed 7 times last night
  6. Whats the difference between going to war with China and eating at a Chinese restaurant? Wanton destruction vs Wonton consumption
  7. You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups Simply by getting a bigger mug.
  8. A new study was released linking caffiene consumption and news media coverage. The link was strongest among those in the French press. (Sory)
  9. What do 21st Century Americans and Jane Austen have in common? Cause of death: Consumption.
  10. How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb? All of them. Because that will generate employment and therefore more consumption, shifting the aggregate demand to the right.

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Consumption One Liners

Which consumption one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with consumption? I can suggest the ones about drinking and economy.

  1. What do you call a bunch of capitalists dying of tuberculosis? Mass consumption
  2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  3. I can't condone the consumption of dairy. I was raised lactose intolerant.
  4. I'm pro-food... Because life begins at consumption
  5. What is a capitalist's favorite f**...? Vore, because it's all about consumption

Alcohol Consumption Jokes

Here is a list of funny alcohol consumption jokes and even better alcohol consumption puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Good way to reduce alcohol consumption William Sexfear's one good way to reduce alcohol consumption..
    Before marriage- Drink whenever you are sad.
    After marriage- Drink whenever you are happy.
  • According to the Laws of Thermodynamics... Open consumption of alcohol is an offense. My advice is to steer clear of the town of Thermodynamics.
  • Man goes to doctors office Doctor asks about his alcohol consumption. "I only drink when I am having a party."
    "So often do you have a party?" "Whenever I have any alcohol"
  • Three Muslims walk into a bar... They get shot, because Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol.
Consumption joke, Three Muslims walk into a bar...

Quirky and Hilarious Consumption Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about consumption you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lifestyle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make consumption pranks.

A nutritionist is giving a speech at a conference on eating healthy

Red meat is terrible for your metabolism, soda rips apart your gastric wall. Fast food is almost all fat and sugar but there's one food that is the worst of all. Almost all of us eat it sooner or later and the negative effects can last for years after a single consumption. Does anyone know what this is?
After a moment of silence an elderly specialist sitting in one of the front rows gets up and says "wedding cake"

A world with the undead

Imagine a world where zombies exist, but they're not dangerous. Just like you and I every day, except they eat brains.
The government has decided that humans can donate their o**... to zombies for consumption.
Everything is pretty much back to normal.
A man and a woman end up going on a first date. They make everyday small talk.
The man says, "So, what do you do for a living?"
The woman responds, "Actually, I'm dead."

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die

At this mornings press conference, Ron Desantis announced that the state of Florida will be outlawing the consumption and distribution of coffee.

He went on to condemn the beverage as a tool of the WOKE agenda.

The most potent strain of m**... has just been released to the public

reports say consumption has reached an all-time high

Consumption joke