Quirky and Hilarious Consumption Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do...
They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!
A Simple Guide to Cake Consumption
If it's 1 o'clock and you're not hungry enough to eat the whole cake, eat half of it now and the other half in an hour. You can halve your cake and eat at 2.
A world with the undead
Imagine a world where zombies exist, but they're not dangerous. Just like you and I every day, except they eat brains.
The government has decided that humans can donate their o**... to zombies for consumption.
Everything is pretty much back to normal.
A man and a woman end up going on a first date. They make everyday small talk.
The man says, "So, what do you do for a living?"
The woman responds, "Actually, I'm dead."
LPT: Remember, besides blueberries, anything blue in the wild is poisonous and not fit for consumption....
The same rule applies to video game cartridges.
Reasons to Avoid Water
* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die
What do you call a bunch of capitalists dying of tuberculosis?
Mass consumption
I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers
It's called absinthe-theism.
I've reduced my wine consumption to just one glass before bed
I went to bed 7 times last night
Whats the difference between going to war with China and eating at a Chinese restaurant?
Wanton destruction vs Wonton consumption
At this mornings press conference, Ron Desantis announced that the state of Florida will be outlawing the consumption and distribution of coffee.
He went on to condemn the beverage as a tool of the WOKE agenda.
You drink too much coffee? I reduced my coffee consumption from 4 cups a day to 3 cups
Simply by getting a bigger mug.
You can explore consumption regulations reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consumption alcoholism dad jokes. There are also consumption puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The most potent strain of m**... has just been released to the public
reports say consumption has reached an all-time high
A new study was released linking caffiene consumption and news media coverage.
The link was strongest among those in the French press. (Sory)
What do 21st Century Americans and Jane Austen have in common?
Cause of death: Consumption.
How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
All of them. Because that will generate employment and therefore more consumption, shifting the aggregate demand to the right.
TIL that excessive consumption of raw egg white can cause brittle hair, rashes, fungal infection, and anemia...
I then imagined the hairless, hideous, and weak beast Gaston should have looked like.
While working at a lab, I accidentally put a q-tip that had been exposed to pulmonary tuberculosis in my mouth
I consumed consumption.
My doctor told me my soda consumption was the cause of my diabetes...
so I switched to diet soda, and now I only have diet-betes.
I can't condone the consumption of dairy.
I was raised lactose intolerant.
I'm pro-food...
Because life begins at consumption
Good way to reduce alcohol consumption
William Sexfear's one good way to reduce alcohol consumption..
Before marriage- Drink whenever you are sad.
After marriage- Drink whenever you are happy.
According to the Laws of Thermodynamics...
Open consumption of alcohol is an offense. My advice is to steer clear of the town of Thermodynamics.
Man goes to doctors office
Doctor asks about his alcohol consumption. "I only drink when I am having a party."
"So often do you have a party?" "Whenever I have any alcohol"
