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Consummate Marriage Jokes

7 consummate marriage jokes and hilarious consummate marriage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consummate marriage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


Quirky and Hilarious Consummate Marriage Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What is a good consummate marriage joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

The First Night of the Honeymoon

The groom and bride had finally reached their honeymoon suite and both were eager to consummate the marriage as quickly as possible. The groom was a huge man, over 6'6" tall and 250 solid pounds of muscle. The bride a beautiful and diminutive woman.
The groom looked at his beautiful bride, took off his pants and threw them at her feet. "Put those on." He ordered.
She gave him a bewildered expression, but attempted to do as he asked. "They're too big, they won't stay on." She exclaimed.
"That's right, just remember who wears the pants in this family."
She gave him a narrow look and removed her pants and threw them at his feet. "Put those on." She ordered.
The groom could not even get his big toe into his wife's pants. "I.. I can't get into them." He stated struggling.
She declared back: "That's right and until your attitude changes that's the way it's going to be."

After the wedding, the groom's younger brother was sitting outside the room waiting

while the newly-weds were consummating the marriage. A few family members were concerned and asked him what he was doing.
It will be your turn after your brother , my father promised me.

A r**... couple from West Virginia get married..

That night, they stay in a cheap motel. Just as they're about to consummate the marriage, the woman says- "Be gentle- it's my first time."
The new husband gets dressed and storms home to tell his parents the devastating news:
"You did the right thing, son", says his father. "If she ain't good enough for her own family- she ain't good enough for ours!"

Dang this new wedding planner is great

For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha

A couple decided to get married after only dating for a few weeks

As they came to the bedroom to consummate the marriage, the husband looked into his wife's eyes:
 
Honey, I haven't been completely honest. I am a golf addict. I think about golf all the time, I dream of golf and every chance I get I'm going to go and have a round.
 
OK said the wife. As long as we're being honest, I have something to tell you too.
 
Go on said the husband tentatively
 
I'm a h**... .
 
That's OK said the husband. You've just got to make sure you keep your left arm straight and your head down longer.

A newlywed couple has just retired to their honeymoon suite to consummate their marriage

As they undress, the groom hands his pants to the bride and says, "here, put these on."
The bride pulls them on and says, "honey, I can't wear these pants, they're too big."
The groom replies, "that's right. I wear the pants in this relationship."
The bride then picks up her lacy p**... and hands it to her husband, telling him to put it on. He turns to her and says, "It's too small, I can't get into your p**...."
She smiles at him and says, "that's right, and that's not going to change unless you drop the attitude."

A young man is getting married...

...and is very nervous about consummating his marriage. He was raised in a very conservative and religious setting, like his bride-to-be, and is a v**... (as is the bride). He decides to ask a friend of his who has more experience for advice on what he should do.
The friend gives him details on how to do the deed, wishes him luck, and sends the groom off to his wedding.
The next day, the friend calls the groom and asked how everything went.
"I guess it went ok, but to be honest I didn't really enjoy it all that much. It didn't feel nearly as good as I thought it would."
"Huh..." answer his friend. "Well how about your bride? Did she enjoy it?"
"I think so... but again I'm not really sure. She didn't really say anything during the act, but I did notice that her toes would curl up every time I would t**...."
"Ummmm... you did remember to take off her pantyhose first, right?"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about consummate marriage can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of consummate marriage puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these consummate marriage jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.