Consummate Jokes
9 consummate jokes and hilarious consummate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consummate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Amusing Consummate Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What is a good consummate joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two Inuits marry and consummate that night.
The next morning, the bride discovers that she is six months pregnant.
The First Night of the Honeymoon
The groom and bride had finally reached their honeymoon suite and both were eager to consummate the marriage as quickly as possible. The groom was a huge man, over 6'6" tall and 250 solid pounds of muscle. The bride a beautiful and diminutive woman.
The groom looked at his beautiful bride, took off his pants and threw them at her feet. "Put those on." He ordered.
She gave him a bewildered expression, but attempted to do as he asked. "They're too big, they won't stay on." She exclaimed.
"That's right, just remember who wears the pants in this family."
She gave him a narrow look and removed her pants and threw them at his feet. "Put those on." She ordered.
The groom could not even get his big toe into his wife's pants. "I.. I can't get into them." He stated struggling.
She declared back: "That's right and until your attitude changes that's the way it's going to be."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hamlet has to pee [Hamleak]
Quick little blurb I wrote in class:
To pee, or not to pee, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention.
Or to take arm against a see of u**... and by opposing relive it.
To go-to pee,
No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that u**... is heir to: 'tis a consummation devoutly to be p**...'d.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After the wedding, the groom's younger brother was sitting outside the room waiting
while the newly-weds were consummating the marriage. A few family members were concerned and asked him what he was doing.
It will be your turn after your brother , my father promised me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a p**...'s resume list as her top attribute?
She's a consummate professional.
Dang this new wedding planner is great
For only an extra 200 bucks he'll consummate my marriage for me - whatever that means haha
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple decided to get married after only dating for a few weeks
As they came to the bedroom to consummate the marriage, the husband looked into his wife's eyes:
Honey, I haven't been completely honest. I am a golf addict. I think about golf all the time, I dream of golf and every chance I get I'm going to go and have a round.
OK said the wife. As long as we're being honest, I have something to tell you too.
Go on said the husband tentatively
I'm a h**... .
That's OK said the husband. You've just got to make sure you keep your left arm straight and your head down longer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently traveled through time to hook-up with Queen Victoria, the famous n**...-queen of England in the late 1800's.
I was stunned to find out that she wanted me adorned in the latest fashions before we consummated our tri-millenium tryst. She made me wait until I grew large mutton-chop side-burns and a moustache. It took like three weeks. Meanwhile, she had a high fastening and tight fitting frock coat cut to my size with tailored shirts having high upstanding collars tied at the neck with large bow-ties. Finally, after a month, I'm adorned in the finest haberdashery of the day when I come to find out, it is now her time of the month. Since I looked like any gentleman of the era, we had period s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A newlywed couple has just retired to their honeymoon suite to consummate their marriage
As they undress, the groom hands his pants to the bride and says, "here, put these on."
The bride pulls them on and says, "honey, I can't wear these pants, they're too big."
The groom replies, "that's right. I wear the pants in this relationship."
The bride then picks up her lacy p**... and hands it to her husband, telling him to put it on. He turns to her and says, "It's too small, I can't get into your p**...."
She smiles at him and says, "that's right, and that's not going to change unless you drop the attitude."
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