Consuming Alcohol Jokes
10 consuming alcohol jokes and hilarious consuming alcohol puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consuming alcohol that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Gather Around for Fun Consuming Alcohol Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What is a good consuming alcohol joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
I never thought I'd reach a point in my life where
my hands have consumed more alcohol than my mouth.
Alcohol
I would've never imagined my hands would consume more alcohol than my liver.
Alcohol Addiction
My anxiety has been in overdrive since the start of the Pandemic. I feel like I need more and more alcohol everyday.
I am going through at least a liter of the hard stuff everyday.
I start using as soon as I wake up and don't stop until I go to bed each night.
My Dr. says I need to slow down now. Even in the short term my addiction is affecting my fertility, damaging my immune system, and dehydrating my skin.
Before the start of the Pandemic, I never would have thought my hands could consume more alcohol than my mouth.
Alcohol and Ramen
Alcohol and ramen are surprisingly similar. Both are widely available at college, both are consumed daily there, and both will slowly kill you from the inside.
My closest companions are horses that seem to think they can consume a lot of alcohol.
But I can drink them all under the stable.
The doctor recommended cutting back on alcohol for a better quality of life. Then he saw my wife who had come to pick me up!
He said, "You can consume all the drinks you want, it's healthy."
Consuming alcoholic beverage is prohibited in my office!
So I sit down with root beer on a square table sometimes.
What happens after a venture capitalist consumes a lot of alcohol?
Bad-venture time!
A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
A man and a priest are sitting next to each other at a bar.
A waitress walks up to the man and say,
"can I get you anything to drink". The man replies,
"I've had a long week, my wife's been screaming at me for days and need a pick me up, give me the strongest thing you've got".
Then the waitress turns to the priest and asks him the same thing. Horrified at the concept of consuming alcohol, the priest says,
"I would rather commit adultery than drink a single drop of booze!!!"
Hearing this, the man turns back around and says, "Excuse me miss, I didn't know we had a choice".
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