Consumed Jokes
33 consumed jokes and hilarious consumed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consumed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Consumed Short Jokes
Short consumed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The consumed humour may include short consuming jokes also.
- Breaking News Trump's personal library just burned down The fire consumed both books and he hasn't even finished coloring the second one
- I was so hungry this morning I almost ate a clock.... I didn't because it's time consuming. Also, I'd have to go back for seconds.
I'm here all day.. - Yesterday I ate a clock It was very time consuming...
Especially when I went back for seconds - Why is a seal with just one fin safe to swim in shark infested waters? Like everyone else, sharks know that if the seal is broken the food isn't safe to consume!
- Do you know why consuming ants is good for your health? It's because they have anty-bodies!
- Yesterday I ate a clock It was very time consuming.
Especially when I went back for seconds. - I've invented a rocket that intercepts incoming warheads by consuming them. It's a cannibalistic missile.
- I was forcibly held underwater, made to consume human flesh, and drank human blood all before puberty. man Christianity has some weird traditions.
- Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
- I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis.
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I'll see myself out.
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Consumed One Liners
Which consumed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with consumed? I can suggest the ones about eaten and absorbed.
- Eating clock is... time consuming.
Sorry. - I love the taste of clocks but… Eating them is time consuming
- What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer? He was consumed by his own pride.
- I once ate a watch It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds.
- Yesterday I tried eating a clock It was time consuming
- Eating food is a lot of work. It's the most calorie consuming thing I do all day.
- What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete loss of desire? Wedding cake.
- Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's pretty time consuming.
Cr - What's the hardest part about eating a clock? It's time consuming
- I ate a clock earlier It was really time consuming.
- Yesterday, I ate a clock. It was very time consuming.
- Don't eat clocks. It's time consuming.
- Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's really time consuming
- Where does the holy bread go after it is consumed? The Garden of Eaten
- Why don't we eat clocks? It's too time consuming.
Silly Consumed Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about consumed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean burned jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make consumed pranks.
I'm so hungry I could e**... watch.
But that would be time consuming
Husband talks to a rabbi.
A husband goes to talk to a rabbi about how his wife is trying to make him consume poison. The rabbi shows concern and tells the husband, "don't worry I'll talk to her". The next day the husband and the rabbi meet together, and the rabbi informs the husband of the meeting with his wife. "I saw your wife - I talked to her for 3 hours! Take the poison!"
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
A group of monks have an encounter with the almighty while tending their flower garden.
The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.
I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, "Hey y**..., is yer bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000 ."
"Grand, " replied the Irishman, "so pour the pints and start the clock."
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
OK y**..., pay up." said the Irishman.
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
"Well sir", replied the Irishman, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.
My college roommate had this weird habit of yelling at his drugs before he consumed them.
It wasn't nice… to witness substance a**....
