The Best 22 Consultant Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Consultant jokes. There are some consultant consultation jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these consultant verizon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Consultant Jokes and Puns

Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve?

They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.

A company hire an efficiency expert as a consultant.

To everyone's surprise, the presentation was very interesting. For once many felt like this was a valuable use of time! as the presenter finished up, he said, "I hope you have found use in my presentation today, but I would warn you, be careful about using these techniques at home. The other night I was watching as my wife did the dinner dishes, and noticed some inefficiency in her technique. Wanting to be helpful, I advised her of several small improvements that could add up to maximum efficiency."
One of the attendees raised their hand,"Did it work? Did the dishwashing become more efficient?"
"Oh yes," the consultant replied,"before my advice, my wife took 18 minutes to finish the dishes, now I do it in 12."

"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."

My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."

"My minds made up." I insisted.

"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."

Consultant joke, "Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy

A woman walks into a police station and says "Help, Ive bee raped by a consultant"

The policeman on duty says "Consultant? thats pretty specific. Do you know him?"
The woman replies "No I dont know him"
The policeman asks "Then how do you know he's a consultant?"
The woman answers "Because he kept his jacket on and made me do all the work"

Received a call from the recruitment consultant. She said to me: "Sir i have two openings for you".

I replied: Yes. I know

There was a long silence and then she said: asshole

I replied: I prefer the other one.


Mike goes to a law consultant.

He asks: So how much do you charge per question?

Consultant: 150€.

Mike: Isn't it too expensive?

Consultant: Yes it is. So whats your third question?.

What's the difference between a thief and a consultant.

A thief will steal your money and leave. But a consultant will steal your money and try to help you find it.

Consultant joke, What's the difference between a thief and a consultant.

My wife was recently submitted to hospital with chest pains.

The consultant said, "Mr Smith, your wife has acute angina"
I said, "Yes I know that, but how's her heart ?"

I'm a consultant and I had this odd client who wanted me to always greet him with "Hi!"

Turned out he was allergic to "Hey".

The definition of a consultant is..

..someone who can tell you on your watch what time it is

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

You can explore consultant policy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consultant gdpr dad jokes. There are also consultant puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the management consultant think of his job?

It was the Bain of his existence.

Yo mama..

is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park

Mark Zuckerberg

Mark : we need 1000s of people's image so that we can fetch the data for the AI but we are running short on money this time. Any inputs?

Consultant 1: get the info from Apple's AI

Consultant 2: XoXo rofl! let's create a #10yearchallenge

Mark :

consultant :

Mark : perfe...

Did you hear about the canine marriage consultant?

He gets paid $80 an hour to say that's ruff

How did the recruitment consultant get fired?

He just applied himself

Consultant joke, How did the recruitment consultant get fired?

I asked my consultant what time it was.

He asked me if he could borrow my watch.

Just got asked if I knew a good GDPR consultant

Me: Yes I do, he's a good friend.

Them: Can I have their email address?

Me: No

Make-up

Why should you never trust a make-up consultant?

They are always trying to cover something up!


What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant?

A Freudilent slip.

Did you hear about the cannibal's fashion consultant

She had excellent taste.

BA DUM PSH

Why is the difference between a consultant and a shopping trolley?

You can fit more food and wine into a consultant but at least a shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the consultant guru jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working consultant analyst piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes