Consult Jokes

Following is our collection of confer puns and knowledgeable one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Consult jokes for adults, dirty discomfort jokes and clean consultation dad gags for kids.

The Best Consult Puns

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband...

Wife: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!

Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.

I had a consultation with a cardiac surgeon who has a penchant for stealing patients' organs.

It was only my first time meeting him, but I could tell right away that he was a man after my own heart.

How do you perform a circumcision?

Consult your doctor, only a professional knows how to pull it off.

I need another name for a dinosaur.

I should consult the Thesaurus.

If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach...

It'll inspire change within yourself


How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Consult an audiophile before buying new headphones

Their reasoning is pretty sound

I've recently had severe bowel incontinence, so I decided to consult my doctor before starting up a daily powerwalking routine...

When I asked how my condition will affect my walks, my doctor responded, "Nothing severe, but you never know when the walks will turn into the runs."

joke of the day

A question on an internet forum:

Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.

A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.

I wonder what the red spot on my arm is...

....better consult a doctor before I make a 'rash' decision

How do Spider-Men get good in English?

They consult the Webster dictionary.


Did you hear about the free-lance magic advisor?

He added consult to conjury.

I was having trouble with my golf game

so went to consult with a pro. He said I should take a break for a couple of weeks. Then I should quit.

Consulting a hotheaded doctor, a patient says, "Professor, I'm unable to lie down or stand up; I can't even sit down."

The doctor responds: "I guess the only thing left is to hang yourself."

There is an abundance of checkup jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes and consult puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any inquire witze you can hear about consult.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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