The Best 16 Consult Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Consult jokes. There are some consult knowledgeable jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these consult consultation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Consult Jokes and Puns

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband...

Wife: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!

Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.

Oedipus wants to learn of his fate.

He travels to Thebes to consult the blind prophet Tiresias and asks him, "What does my future hold?"

Tiresias thinks quietly for a time and answers, "First you'll murder your father."

Oedipus is shocked to hear that he'll become a killer, but there must be more to his fate.

He asks, "What happens next?"

"Then you'll take his throne."

Oedipus is pleased to hear that he'll become king, but there must be more to his fate.

"And what happens next?"

"Then you'll sleep with Joe."

Oedipus is confused.

"Who's Joe?"

I had a consultation with a cardiac surgeon who has a penchant for stealing patients' organs.

It was only my first time meeting him, but I could tell right away that he was a man after my own heart.

Consult joke, I had a consultation with a cardiac surgeon who has a penchant for stealing patients' organs.

How do you perform a circumcision?

Consult your doctor, only a professional knows how to pull it off.

I need another name for a dinosaur.

I should consult the Thesaurus.


I'm a consultant and I had this odd client who wanted me to always greet him with "Hi!"

Turned out he was allergic to "Hey".

If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach...

It'll inspire change within yourself

Consult joke, If you have a problem eating coins, perhaps you should consult a life coach...

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Consult an audiophile before buying new headphones

Their reasoning is pretty sound

I've recently had severe bowel incontinence, so I decided to consult my doctor before starting up a daily powerwalking routine...

When I asked how my condition will affect my walks, my doctor responded, "Nothing severe, but you never know when the walks will turn into the runs."

How do Spider-Men get good in English?

They consult the Webster dictionary.

You can explore consult confer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consult discomfort dad jokes. There are also consult puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I wonder what the red spot on my arm is...

....better consult a doctor before I make a 'rash' decision

joke of the day

A question on an internet forum:

Q: Please help, I have this great itching between my toes.

A: Well, that depends. If the itching is between all toes, consult a dermatologist. If the itching bothers you only between your two big toes, consult a gynecologist.

Did you hear about the free-lance magic advisor?

He added consult to conjury.

Consulting a hotheaded doctor, a patient says, "Professor, I'm unable to lie down or stand up; I can't even sit down."

The doctor responds: "I guess the only thing left is to hang yourself."

I was having trouble with my golf game

so went to consult with a pro. He said I should take a break for a couple of weeks. Then I should quit.

Consult joke, I was having trouble with my golf game

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the consult checkup jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working consult inquire piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes