Construction Site Jokes

63 construction site jokes and hilarious construction site puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about construction site that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Construction Site Jokes

Short construction site jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The construction site humour may include short building site jokes also.

  1. I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.
  2. They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it.
  3. A construction site worker told his boss "Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?" to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"
  4. The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge. I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.
  5. The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me. Nobody expects the span is in position.
  6. I didn't believe when they told me my brother was a construction site thief But when I got home, the signs were there
  7. I couldn't believe it when my Dad was arrested for stealing from construction sites. I should have known really, all the signs were there.
  8. I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site... Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.
  9. After working a construction site in the blistering heat all summer, it made me really miss my old gig. Because 7/11 was an inside job.
  10. What's the difference between a magnet and a construction site? A construction site has more poles.

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Construction Site joke, What's the difference between a magnet and a construction site?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about construction site can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of construction site puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Construction Site One Liners

Which construction site one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with construction site? I can suggest the ones about construction worker and road construction.

  1. What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.
  2. What do you call a bunch of carpenter ants? A construction site.
  3. My dad was a construction site thief When I got home all the signs were there.
  4. I saw a cow asleep in a construction site thus morning I think it was a bulldozer
  5. What's it called when there's an accident at a construction site? Erectile dysfunction.
  6. VOTE UP IF. The construction site
  7. How does Wanda Maximoff greet Vision on a construction site? Hi, Vis!
  8. What do you call 10 Mexican kids in a school? A construction site
  9. Why are construction sites so stinky? Because the workers are just fartin' around.
  10. s**... at the construction site I saw a guy on roof nailing some hot shingles.

Construction Site joke, s**... at the construction site

Charming Humor Construction Site Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about construction site you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean construction jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make construction site prank.

A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas.
They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately.
The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job.
Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert.
Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around.
Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."

What's The Difference Between A p**... and A Screwdrivef

One screws all day long on a construction site and the other has s**... for money

There's a blonde man, a Mexican man, and an Italian man sitting on a construction site eating lunch and...

The Mexican man opens his lunch and exclaims, "Bean burritos again?! I swear if I get bean burritos one more time I am going to jump and kill myself!" Then the Italian man opens his lunch and says, "Seriously?! Spaghetti and meatballs again?! If I get this one more time in my lunch I am going to jump and kill myself as well!" then the blonde man opened his lunch and gets a ham and cheese sammich and pretty much says the same thing as the other guys.
Then next day at lunch time the three guys go to the the top of the site and open there lunches, all of them got exactly what they had yesterday and jumped to their deaths.
At the f**... the Mexican's wife goes up to the front and says, "If only I'd known he didn't want burritos for lunch I would have made him something else!" Next the Italian's wife walks up and says, "He should have told me he didn't want spaghetti and meatballs! I just would have made him something else!" After this everyone at the f**... looks at the blonde man's wife waiting for her to say something and she just says, "Don't look at me he makes his own lunch."

Falling Bricks

A man is starting his new job at a skyscraper construction site and he is a little nervous. He introduces himself to the other workers.
"H-H-Hello... M-My name is Peter." The Men grunt and continue working. When it's time for lunch, all the men sit on the edge of the building. the man walks over and sits next to them.
"W-What do you do around here for fun?" he asks. A rather large man turns around and says:
"Falling Brick."
"W-Well what's that?"
"Take a Brick and throw it off the edge. while it's falling yell falling brick. It's hilarious watching all the people below scatter."
The man reluctantly takes a brick from the pile. He tosses off the edge of the building.
"F-F-f**... got him."

A Black man, a Mexican and a Polish man are at a construction site

A Black man, a Mexican and a Polish man are at a construction site having lunch. The black man opens up his lunch and says "If I get fried chicken for lunch again, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opens up his lunch and says "If I get a burrito for lunch again, I'm going to jump off this building." The Polish guy opens his lunch and says "If I get a bologna sandwich for lunch again, I'm going to jump off this building."
The next day the three men are having lunch. They all open up their lunches and see they've all got the same thing from the day before and proceed to jump to their deaths.
Their wives get to talking at the wake when the black mans wife says "If I knew he didn't like fried chicken, I would've never put it in his lunch." The Mexican mans wife says "If I knew he didn't like burritos, I would've never put it in his lunch." When they turn to the Polish mans wife she says "Don't look at me, he made his own lunch."

A construction worker and his dog

A construction worker brings his dog to work every day, and at noon tucks a 5 dollar bill under the dog's collar. The dog t**... off to the local bar, where the bartender takes the fiver and gives the dog a sandwich in a paper bag which the dog brings back to the work site for his owner.
One day, the man only has a 20, but figures that the bartender will be honest. An hour goes by, and he stomps angrily over to the bar where he confronts his dog who is sitting on a stool drinking a beer and eating a sandwich.
"I never had change before" says the dog.

The Sleeping Scotsman

A Scotsman decides one day he'd pass the time by walking the countryside. After a couple of hours, he comes to the top of a hill and sees a road down below him.
"I don't remember there being a road here. I must be more lost than I thought!"
Before trying to trek his way back home, however, he decides to take a rest under a nearby tree.
Meanwhile, a woman driving on the road below sees the sleeping Scotsman and asked herself life's biggest question: "*Do* the Scottish wear anything under their kilts?" Curiosity getting the better of her, she pulls her car over to the side of the road and sneaks her way up to the sleeping Scotsman. She carefully picks up the front of the Scotsman's kilt and sees, in fact, they do not wear anything underneath. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, the woman sees some nearby stakes in the ground with red and blue ribbons tied to the tops of them, being used as markers for a nearby construction site. The woman takes one of these ribbons and ties it snuggly to the Scotsman's wiener to signify that someone was there.
Later, the Scotsman awakes and feels a tug under his kilt. He lifts it up and sees a blue ribbon tied tight around his piece. Upon seeing this, the Scotsman shouts:
"I don't know where ye been or what ye did, but you won first prize!"

A foreman working on a construction site walks up to his only workers for the day...

They were an Irishman, Englishman and a Chinese.
The foreman walks up to the Irishman and tells him:
"I will be going out for a few hours to do some paperwork. In the meantime I want you to shovel this pile of gravel into the truck so it can be taken away when I get back."
He then goes to the Englishman:
"You, on the other hand are going to sweep all the dust on the ground left behind by all the cement. I want to see the floor spotless when I return."
He says to the Chinese man:
"I will leave you in charge of the supplies. Make sure everyone gets their supplies."
And having delivered the duties to his workers, the foreman leaves the site to attend to his business.
When he returns, he finds the gravel not shoveled and the floor not swept.
He quickly locates the Irishman and asks him why he didn't do his job. He says: "I would have shoveled this here gravel, but I don't have a shovel. The Chinese guy was supposed to give it to me but I haven't seen him since you left."
He then goes to look for the Englishman, who says: "I can't possibly sweep the floor without a broom and dustpan, as the Chinese man has not given them to me. I have been looking for him for hours but I can't seem to find him."
The foreman, Irishman and Englishman decide to go look for the Chinese man when he jumps out from behind a pillar and yells:

Strength vs. Intelligence

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

An Italian, An Irishman and a Chinese fellow.

Hopefully not posted earlier.
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, You're in charge of sweeping. He then jabs a thin finger at the Irishman, You're in charge of digging. Finally, he turns to the c**..., And you're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile.
Two hours later, the foreman returns to find the pile of sand untouched, and the Italian and Irishman standing nearby. Why didn't you touch it? he says. The Italian looks at him. We didn't have a broom or shovel. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and we couldn't find him. Annoyed, the foreman storms off to find the errant Oriental. Just then, the c**... leaps from behind the sand and yells Supplies!

A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.

The other workers nickname him "w**...".
Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got m**... and p**..., they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".
The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "m**..., Mack, p**..., Wac leave the w**... alone!"

A property developer and a building contractor are standing on a construction site...

It's getting late and the developer wants the contractor to stay and finish the work. The discussion starts getting a little heated. The contractor says, "You know, when I was working for Donald Trump, he would put $10 000 on the table as a bonus and we would work through the night and get the job done. Why don't you do that?" The developer glances across the construction site and says, "Well, we don't have a table".

A young man starts a new job at a construction site

During his lunch break, he asks an older man what he's carrying in his lunch box.
"It's a thermos, it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot."
"Oh wow, I have to get me one of those!" Said the young man
The next day, the older man sees the younger man carrying a thermos.
"I see you got a thermos. What do you got in it?" He asks.
The young man replies, "Ice tea and hot bean soup!"

An italian, a scot, and a chinese man start their first day working at a construction site..., for their first task, their boss shows them this enormous pile of sand, and tells them they need to move it from point A to point B in two hours.
"You," says the boss, pointing to the italian, "will shovel the sand."
"You," he says to the scot, "will sweep after him."
"and you," he says to the chinese man, "will be in charge of keeping the supplies in check."

The boss comes back, two hours later, and the pile of sand hasn't budged.
"What happened?" he asks.
"The chinese man ran off with the supplies, and we couldn't find him!" the italian and scot both say.
"Seriously?" the boss says.

The boss then approaches the pile of sand, when the chinese man leaps out of it and says "**SUPPLIES!**"

(If you didn't get it, say the last sentence out loud.)

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Japanese man are hired at a construction site.

The foreman says to the Italian "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Asian "You're in charge of supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while." Later when the foreman returns he sees Nothing's done. He says to the Italian "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" "I no gotta broom. You tella da guy he inna charge of a supplies, but he go an I could no finda him!" Then asks the Scot "Didn't I tell you to shovel?" "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. I canna find where the supplies man is aboot!" The foreman is really angry now and storms off looking for the Asian. Just then the Japanese guy springs out and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

A Nun walks into a construction site

An older nun, who was living in a convent next to a construction site, noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
And so, she decided she would take her lunch and sit with the workers.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked to the spot where the men were eating.
Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And, do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down. "Why?"
The worker yelled back,
"Cause his mom's here with his lunch."

I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good.

But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.

A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...

The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:
"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
Another worker shouts back: "Why?"
The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"

Two blondes working on a construction site...

Two blondes were working on a construction site. One of them who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over her shoulder or nail it into the siding.
The other blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
The first blonde explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed towards me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it into the siding."
The second blonde was outraged. She yelled, "You m**...! The nails pointed towards you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses

He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''

After a long winter, a mountain lion, a wolf, and a fox...

After a long winter, a mountain lion, a wolf, and a fox get together and each tells how they spent the winter.
The mountain lion says, "I spent my winter in a pigpen, and each day I ate a pig. The owner counted the pigs, saw that some were missing, and set a trap from which I barely escaped."
The wolf says, "I spent my winter in a henhouse. Each day I ate two hens. The owner counted the hens, brought out his shotgun, and I almost got shot."
The fox says, "I spent my winter at a construction site where there were lots of Mexicans. Nobody counts those b**...."

Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico?

To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!

Two detectives were investigating a m**... at a construction site

The evidence wasn't concrete.

Names for groups of animals

We all know some of the common names: pride of lions, m**... of crows, etc. But some aren't so well known:
construction site of cranes
chomp of alligators
giggle of girls
cancer of lawyers

I walked up to a midget at a construction site

He looked at me and said "Bit chubby"
Turns out he was a little digger.

My girlfriend just told me her favorite music is heavy metal.

So for her birthday I'm taking her on a trip to a construction site.

Did you guys hear about that iceberg that was next to that construction site?

It's water under the bridge now.

A man worked at construction site...

...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.
His wife, furious, comes to hospital.
"What happened?!"
"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."
"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"
"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."

The army always has mortar stored at its construction site.

They're useful in dealing against ambushes.

What is common between foreplay and a construction site?

There is always an "e**..." in progress.

There was a construction site

There's 3 labourers, ready for their morning job.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Chinese man.
The boss tells the Englishman, when I get back from lunch, I want this pile of dirt moved over there further.
To the Irishman, after he's moved it, you need to spread the soil.
To the Chinese man, he says you need to help out with all the supplies.
The boss gets back from lunch, and the dirt pile isn't moved.
Why has nothing happened? He asks.
The Englishman says he couldn't find the Chinese man.
He then asks the Irishman who also, cannot find the Chinese man.
He heads to the tool shed, as he is about to open the door, the Chinese man bursts out and yells, SUPPLIES!

A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar

The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street."
The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!"
The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"

A dog is looking for work...

He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.
The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.
The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"

Construction Site joke, A dog is looking for work...

jokes about construction site

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these construction site jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.