The Best 37 Construction Site Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Construction Site jokes. There are some construction site construct jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these construction site influx puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Construction Site Jokes and Puns

What's The Difference Between A Prostitute and A Screwdrivef

One screws all day long on a construction site and the other has sex for money

A construction site worker told his boss

"Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?" to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

Strength vs. Intelligence

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."

John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Construction Site joke, Strength vs. Intelligence

What kind of bird works on a construction site?

A Crane.

A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.

The other workers nickname him "Wog".

Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".

The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!"


A young man starts a new job at a construction site

During his lunch break, he asks an older man what he's carrying in his lunch box.

"It's a thermos, it keeps cold things cold and hot things hot."

"Oh wow, I have to get me one of those!" Said the young man

The next day, the older man sees the younger man carrying a thermos.

"I see you got a thermos. What do you got in it?" He asks.

The young man replies, "Ice tea and hot bean soup!"

My dad was a construction site thief

When I got home all the signs were there.

Construction Site joke, My dad was a construction site thief

VOTE UP IF. The construction site

I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good.

But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.

A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...

The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:

"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"

One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?"

Another worker shouts back: "Why?"

The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"

Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses

He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''

Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''

You can explore construction site tombs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean construction site foreman dad jokes. There are also construction site puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico?

To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!

Two detectives were investigating a murder at a construction site

The evidence wasn't concrete.

Names for groups of animals

We all know some of the common names: pride of lions, murder of crows, etc. But some aren't so well known:

construction site of cranes
chomp of alligators
giggle of girls
cancer of lawyers

After working a construction site in the blistering heat all summer, it made me really miss my old gig.

Because 7/11 was an inside job.

They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him.

You could say he was really nailing it.

Construction Site joke, They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him.

I walked up to a midget at a construction site

He looked at me and said "Bit chubby"

Turns out he was a little digger.

I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site...

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Today I had to make an NSFW presentation at work...

'Mandatory Safety Procedures at Construction Site for Workers'.


I couldn't believe it when my Dad was arrested for stealing from construction sites.

I should have known really, all the signs were there.

I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site...

Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.

My girlfriend just told me her favorite music is heavy metal.

So for her birthday I'm taking her on a trip to a construction site.

What's the difference between a magnet and a construction site?

A construction site has more poles.

What's it called when there's an accident at a construction site?

Erectile dysfunction.

Did you guys hear about that iceberg that was next to that construction site?

It's water under the bridge now.

I saw a cow asleep in a construction site thus morning

I think it was a bulldozer

A man worked at construction site...

...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.

His wife, furious, comes to hospital.

"What happened?!"

"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."

"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"

"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."

Sex at the construction site

I saw a guy on roof nailing some hot shingles.

The army always has mortar stored at its construction site.

They're useful in dealing against ambushes.

NSFW

Not wearing helmet at a construction site

The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me.

Nobody expects the span is in position.

What is common between foreplay and a construction site?

There is always an "erection" in progress.

What do you call a bunch of carpenter ants?

A construction site.

I didn't believe when they told me my brother was a construction site thief

But when I got home, the signs were there

The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge.

I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.

A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar

The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street."

The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!"

The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"

A dog is looking for work...

He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.

The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.

The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the construction site providers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working construction site workers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes