Construct Jokes

Following is our collection of erection puns and built one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Construct jokes for adults, dirty sudoku jokes and clean construction worker dad gags for kids.

The Best Construct Puns

If i had a nickel for every existential crisis

it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless

A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew

It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.

He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He's at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.

"Of course!" the boss exclaims, "he's the subcontractor!"

A construction worker named John Smith had an accident at work and died.

His co-workers don't know who is going to tell John's wife that he died.

After a lot of arguing they decide that Jack should bring the news.

After an hour Jack returns with two crates of beer. Everone asks him how he got them.

Jack : I knocked on the door and a woman opened it. I asked: Are you John Smith's widow?

The woman answered : No, I'm his wife!

Jack: You want to bet two crates of beer that you're not?

Why is six afraid of seven?

Numbers are an abstract human construct and so is fear. This entire joke is meaningless

I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building...

Friendship.


Did you hear about that baby boy that was born with no eyelids?

The doctors actually used his foreskin from circumcision to construct his eyelids. He's OK, but just a little cock-eyed.

warning sign on children's alphabet blocks

Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.

A dog is helping construct my house

He specializes in roofing

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Numbers are an abstract human construct and so is fear

Sometimes I look out over the new construction in my city, old ground being dug up to make room for the new, and I think to myself:

I really should have buried the bodies somewhere else.

A construction worker comes home from work.

He tells his wife, "Honey, I cut off my finger today."
She replies, "The whole finger!?"
He says, "No, the one right next to it."


A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks

He got hammered.

Construction worker not wearing his safety gear [NSFW]

When constructing the Black Gate...

Minion: "Is this too big? Do we need less door?"

Sauron: "No, Mordor."

"Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective."

"You're still late" replied my boss.

A construction site worker told his boss

"Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?" to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

My construction worker friend died

As a memorial everyone at his funeral stood around making themselves look busy

A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox.

Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.

For construction workers

did you know that if you hold your hardhat up to your ear, you can hear OSHA?


How do construction workers party?

They raise the roof.

Why did the French construct the Maginot Line?

To keep the Nazis in Czech!

How can you tell if someone is a construction worker or a chemist

The way they pronounce unionised

I saw a construction sign today that said, "road rehab".

It must've been addicted to crack.

EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.

After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's cocaine induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour escort stuffed full on satanic orgy fest.

Every single currency in this world is just an illusion, a social construct

but Brazil's real.

What do a construction worker and a cheating husband have in common?

They are both home wreckers

Two construction workers

Two construction workers are talking and one says, I was gonna tell you a joke, but I'm still working on it.

What did the construction worker say when people complained that his building didn't meet code?

"I did asbestos I could."

Three Engineers are Sitting at a Bar...

...and discussing what kind of engineer constructed the human body. The first exclaimed that it must be a Mechanical Engineer because of all the joints and moving parts. The second said it had to have been an Electrical Engineer because of all the nerve endings and electrical signals. The third disagreed with both and declared that it had to have been a Nuclear Engineer, because who else would construct a toxic tube so close to a recreational area?

Three construction workers.

Three construction workers were at a jobsite one day when there was no port-a-potty, the first worker grabs a shovel out of a truck and digs a hole, the second one disappeared, the third one finds the second one on top of a pole with his pants down reading a newspaper. The second worker says to the third hey buddy I found a shitpost .

A construction worker without a helmet walks into a bar.

Ouch.

You ask a construction worker to tell a joke.

He says, '' hold on I'm working on it"

Why did the construction worker get frustrated and stamp a snail?

Because it had been following him around all day

A construction worker walks up to his executive director.

He says to the director, Construction is going great, however, due to all the rainfall we've been having in the past few days, the nearby lake it very full. We're afraid that if there's any more rain, that the lake might overflow.

The director stands for a moment, pondering his answer before saying, Well, dam it

What does a construction worker call a botched project?

Job security

Where do construction workers come?

On your backhoe.

How many construction workers does it take to do a single job?

As many as it takes to surround one laborer.

What did the gamer say to his wife after her miscarriage?

You must construct additional pylons.

I learned a lot from my parents

Things like cooking, cleaning, and sewing, I learned from my father. And my mother taught me to construct jokes based on stereotypical gender roles.

I have a multi million dollar home that took years to construct.

I live under a bridge.

I constructed a clock using only 101.6 mm sticks

Needless to say, I have a lot of time on my hands.

If I had a dollar for every gender...

I would have nothing of value because money is a social construct just like gender and we can live our lives the way we want to.

Did you hear about the friendly golem?

He was a Social Construct

A construction worker lost his hand in an workplace accident.

The insurance company is trying to figure out how it happened but they can't quite put their finger on it

What social construct has the most carbs?

Gender rolls

HOW MANY PAPER CLIP IS TAKE TO CONSTRUCT HAMMER

NEED TOO MANY, BETTER GO TO THE OFFICE STORE HO HO HO

What did the construction worker say when he was finishing the tip of a skyscraper named after a part of an egg?

I'm at the height of the Yolk now.

One construction worker asks another: - Aren't the walls too thin in this apartment building?

- Don't worry about it, there is also wallpaper.

What did the construction worker say when the house collapsed on him?

"Get off me holmes!"

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

He says to the bartender, "Give me a beer, please, and one for the road."

***

I'm^so^sorry

A construction crew was converting an old road near a chicken coupe back to farmland...

Comedians slaughtered the construction crew, and the jokes continued.

There is an abundance of erect jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 51 funniest jokes and construct puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any construction site witze you can hear about construct.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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