Constitution Jokes

Following is our collection of cons puns and constitutional one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Constitution jokes for adults, dirty citizens jokes and clean democracy dad gags for kids.

The Best Constitution Puns

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…

…the NSA will finally read it.

Oldy repurposed

Trump was feeling the pressure of the office and stood before the protraits of our greatest leaders.
Looking at Washington, the Donald said:
"George, you were the first. Can you give me some advise?"
A ghostly voice replied
"Tell the truth"
Trump knew that wouldn't work, so next went to Jefferson.
" Tom, you wrote the constitution. Do you have any words for me?"
Another voice said "Be for the people"
As he had always placed himself before everyone, Trump moved on.
He stood before Lincoln and asked " Abe, you are one of the greatest. Can you advise me?"
A new voice drifted by saying
"Go to the Theater"

Impeachment joke -

Pamela Karlan during Impeachment Hearing:
The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president Trump can name his son Barron, he can’t make him a baron.

Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.

One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".

Con is the opposite of pro, and con is bad.

So if we want to turn the constitution into something better, then we should change it to...


Gee I sure hope the rioters in DC don't do anything to the IRS building

at 1111 Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20224.

Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution.

Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.

Maybe if we all emailed the constitution to each other...

The Spanish Inquisition.

I like to read the Constitution for the articles.

Pros are good and cons are bad, so...

What's the opposite of constitution?

Why did the blonde wear a tanktop to school?

Because the constitution says you have the right to bear arms.


If the opposite of con is pro...

...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution.

What's the first amendment in Super Mario's constitution?

Freedom of Peach

Someone should tell trump and his fellow Republicans that the constitution isn't a bible

You can't pick and choose which parts you want to obey.

If pro goes with con,

Then what goes with the Constitution?

Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?

She was let down by a weak Constitution.

A blonde and a police officer get into a argument after she questions why the blonde is wearing a bear suit

"I have rights you know!" says the blonde, "It says in the constitution that I have a right to bear arms".

If cons are opposite of pros... that means congress is the opposite of progress, and...

Constitution is the opposite of prostitution?

What's the opposite of the constitution?

The prostitution.


comrade, what is difference between constitution of Russian motherland and the Finland?

Both constitutions guarantee freedom of speech, but only in finland do you get freedom after speech.

Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out?

It gave people the right to bare arms.

What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican?

We the papal...

Donald Trump tweeted the he wants to resign today.

But it was a typo. He tweeted moments later he wants to re-sign the U.S Constitution with only his name on it.

What is a Republican's favorite Choose Your Own Adventure?

The U.S. Constitution.

What does the Vatican City's constitution have in common with the constitution of the United States?

Both are by the papal, for the papal.

The United States would be a very weak country in Dungeons & Dragons.

They only have 1 Constitution.

A Parisian walks into a books store and asks for a copy of the French constitution. The store owner says "We don't sell periodicals."

With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution

It's "the."

Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?

Have you heard of the Junta's new constitution?

It's really Thai-ing down the people.

How did George Washington survive being shot so many times in war and duels?

He put all of his points into Constitution.

What would Nicholas Cage ' main stat be if he was a class in an RPG?

Constitution.

Why Do The Iroquois Mention Lord's in Their Constitution?

Because they'll never be royals.....

There is an abundance of jurisprudence jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 33 funniest jokes and constitution puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any republic witze you can hear about constitution.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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