constitution Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious constitution puns

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…

…the NSA will finally read it.

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If we all email the constitution to each other

The NSA might finally read it

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Impeachment joke -

Pamela Karlan during Impeachment Hearing:
The Constitution says there can be no titles of nobility, so while the president Trump can name his son Barron, he can’t make him a baron.

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Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.

One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".

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Con is the opposite of pro, and con is bad.

So if we want to turn the constitution into something better, then we should change it to...

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Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution.

Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.

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Maybe if we all emailed the constitution to each other...

The Spanish Inquisition.

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Armenian Radio

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon.

Then, what is a horizon?

We're answering: Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.

**And another one for good measure.**

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR?

Both guarantee freedom of speech.

We're answering: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.

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I like to read the Constitution for the articles.

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Pros are good and cons are bad, so...

What's the opposite of constitution?

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Why did the blonde wear a tanktop to school?

Because the constitution says you have the right to bear arms.

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If the opposite of con is pro...

...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution.

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What's the first amendment in Super Mario's constitution?

Freedom of Peach

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If pro goes with con,

Then what goes with the Constitution?

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Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?

She was let down by a weak Constitution.

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Someone should tell trump and his fellow Republicans that the constitution isn't a bible

You can't pick and choose which parts you want to obey.

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If cons are opposite of pros... that means congress is the opposite of progress, and...

Constitution is the opposite of prostitution?

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What's the opposite of the constitution?

The prostitution.

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comrade, what is difference between constitution of Russian motherland and the Finland?

Both constitutions guarantee freedom of speech, but only in finland do you get freedom after speech.

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Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out?

It gave people the right to bare arms.

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What are the first three words of the Constitution of the Vatican?

We the papal...

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Why Do The Iroquois Mention Lord's in Their Constitution?

Because they'll never be royals.....

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Why did China write such a shit constitution?

Because two Wongs can't make a right!

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What is a Republican's favorite Choose Your Own Adventure?

The U.S. Constitution.

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Donald Trump tweeted the he wants to resign today.

But it was a typo. He tweeted moments later he wants to re-sign the U.S Constitution with only his name on it.

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Have you heard of the Junta's new constitution?

It's really Thai-ing down the people.

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What would Nicholas Cage ' main stat be if he was a class in an RPG?

Constitution.

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Is it a coincidence that the 18th amendment of the US Constitution outlawed alcohol while the 21st made it legal again?

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What does the Vatican City's constitution have in common with the constitution of the United States?

Both are by the papal, for the papal.

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Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution?

It's fucking ancient.

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Which grocery department is great for digestion and your "constitution"?

Pro-deuce.

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How did George Washington survive being shot so many times in war and duels?

He put all of his points into Constitution.

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Donald Trump 'complained hand towels on Air Force One are not soft enough'

After He Wiped His Ass With The Constitution

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How are cartoon women and the word "constitution" similar?

They both have one tit in the middle.

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With all the political debate raging in the U.S. right now, I thought it would be constructive to briefly review the first article in the Constitution

It's "the."

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What are the most funny Constitution jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Constitution? Well, here are the best Constitution dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Constitution pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes