The Best 56 Constipation Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Constipation jokes. There are some constipation flatulence jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these constipation stomachache puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Constipation Jokes and Puns

Have you heard about that new movie Constipation?

Oh wait - it hasn't come out yet!

*ba dum tss*

Have you ever seen the movie "Constipation"?

It never came out.

Did you ever see that movie about constipation?

of course not, it never came out.

Constipation joke, Did you ever see that movie about constipation?

How are bad dubstep and constipation similar?

Both leave you waiting for the drop.

I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation.

Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already.

did you hear about that new movie called constipation?

i can't wait for it to come out!

Did you see the movie Constipation?

It hasn't come out yet.

Constipation joke, Did you see the movie Constipation?

Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?

Of course you haven't.. it hasn't came out yet.

ANOTHER nun sat outside a bar in Ireland...

Sipping from a bottle of whiskey, and quite inebriated, when the local Gard walks past.

"Sister Mary", he asks "what in God's name are you doing?!"

"Not to worry, sergeant. I'm trying to *hic* cure the Mother Superior's constipation."

"And how is you being in this state going to help the Mother Superior with her constipation exactly?!"

"Cos when she sees me like this", Sister Mary replied, "she'll be shittin a brick!"

Have you heard of the film constipation?

It hasn't come out yet.

Dad asks me have you heard of the new movie constipation? I was all like what, no.

And he said, It never came out.

You can explore constipation diarrhea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean constipation digestion dad jokes. There are also constipation puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Did you hear about that book on constipation?

It hasn't come out yet.

Which ten letter word beginning with 'N' and ending with 'N' also means constipation?


I registered to a website for constipation sufferers.

It won't let me logout.

What do you call painful constipation?

Excretiating pain

I'm not sure if I have constipation or diarrhoea.

I'll find out by a process of elimination.

Constipation joke, I'm not sure if I have constipation or diarrhoea.

Have you seen this new movie?

Heard this one from my 10 year old cousin.

Him: "Have you seen the new movie about constipation yet?"

Me: "No..."

Him: "It hasn't come out yet. But people are pushing for its release!"

I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation.

She told me it hasn't come out yet

Thank you for calling the constipation hotline...

Please hold.

Have you seen that new documentary about constipation?

Oh that's right, it hasn't come out yet..

I've just been diagnosed with paranoia and constipation.

I'm scared shitless.

Did you watch the movie constipation?

It never came out.

How does a mathematician solve their constipation?

They work it out with a pencil

What is the German Word for Constipation?


Did you hear about that movie they were making called "Constipation"?

It never came out

Have you seen the movie constipation?


That's cause it's not out yet

I wanted to see the movie about constipation...

....But it never came out

I told my doctor I was getting really stressed out about my chronic constipation.

He prescribed me a relaxative.

How did the mathematian get rid of his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

The steps involved in constipation:

1) Sit on the toilet.

There is no number two.

I'm not looking for the #1 constipation relief medicine in the market.

A #2 would do.

The doctor diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation.

I was worried shitless.

I wanted to go see the movie "Constipation"

But it is not out yet.

How did the math professor solve his constipation problem?

He worked it out with a pencil.

What's the Chinese word for constipation?

Hung dung

Have you seen the new movie?

Have you seen the new movie "Constipation"? Probably not... It never came out.

Joke credit goes to a 10 year old.

Doctor says banana is good for preventing constipation. It didn't work for me

...until I found out that he meant I should eat the banana.

I heard they're making a film about constipation.

But it's not come out yet.

Saw the movie titled Constipation?

I bet you didn't because it isn't out yet.

/crappy joke , I know ;-)

How did the lumberjack cure his constipation?

He dropped a log.

Have you seen that new movie called constipation .

Oh my bad..... I don't think it has come out yet.

How does baby Yoda pooped when he was constipated?

He forces it out.

Constipation puns aren't my favorite jokes...

but they're a solid number two.

What spell does Harry Potter use for constipation?


Do you want to play constipation?

Sorry, it's not out yet.

Sh***y Joke I came up with when I was little

A man was talking to his pet ox. He asked the ox Hey ox, what's your favorite number? The ox replied, I don't know. I guess I'll go with 1. The man thought for a second then exclaimed, But Ox, why not number 2? The ox replied, Constipation .

Have you seen the movie Constipation ?

Neither have I, it hasn't come out yet.

I asked my boss if I can have the day off due to severe constipation

He said no because I'm full of shit

I took a sick day and lied that I had constipation

My boss bought it and even said he hopes I get well soon and stop being so full of shit

A man walks into a bookstore and asks the young assistant,

"Do you have the book on constipation?"
She replies, "It's not out yet"
"Yep, that's the one"

Have you seen the movie, "Constipation?"

Of course not, it won't be out for a while.

Btw, I am a teacher and a 3rd grader told me that today.

Have you seen the new movie Constipation ? No?

That's because it hasn't come out yet


Same shit different day

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?


---courtesy, my Dad.

My teacher recently said that she has constipation

So I was like: "No shit?"

How does an accountant fix constipation?

Works it out with a pencil

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the constipation ibs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working constipation diarrhoea piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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