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Constable Jokes

7 constable jokes and hilarious constable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about constable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Humorous Constable Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What is a good constable joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar

So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.
'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.

A small boy parks his bicycle nearby the Parliament house and walks on...

A police constable stops him and asks: "Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know about this road? Many politicians pass from here".
The boy innocently replies, "Don't worry, I have locked my bicycle".

Police want to interview a man suspected for a string of robberies wearing stockings and suspenders.

However, the Chief Constable has insisted they wear their normal uniform.

A constable receives notification about a theft from McGregor's farm near Nottingham. The dispatcher tells him that farmer McGregor reports the theft of 2033 pigs...

The constable starts writing the report, but decides to double-check the exact amount of the pigs. He calls McGregor and asks: "Mr McGregor, are you absolutely sure that there were 2033 pigs stolen?"
"Oh, yeth, conthtable, abtholutely!" McGregor answers.
The constable thanks him and continues to write the report: "Victim McGregor lost 2 sows and 33 pigs".

What do you call a constipated policemen?

constable

Safe Neighbourhood

Now that my wife and I have a child we want to ensure that we live somewhere with excellent emergency services.
Turns out we're already in a great spot; there's firetrucks and constables everywhere!

Constable

A week after a brazilian.


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