Console Jokes
135 console jokes and hilarious console puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about console that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Forget the console wars, it's time to find out who has the best console jokes! In this article, put aside the debate of which console is better and enjoy some laughs as we explore the humorous side of the world of console gaming. From Sega to Playstation and Xbox, it's time to figure out who the king of the console peasants is. Read on for some of the best console jokes around!
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Funniest Console Short Jokes
Short console jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The console humour may include short terminal jokes also.
- My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held
- My son was so upset when he didn't get a gaming pc for his birthday luckily, this playstation was able to..........console him
- I saw a 5 legged woman crying and I asked her why She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said at least your knickers fit like a glove
- I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch
- My friend can't decide what video game system to get for Christmas ... ... Nobody can console him.
- My wife left me because "I am addicted to video games".. I was so sad I could hardly console myself
- My friend invented a machine that can take a disc out of a console, then put a new one in It's a game changer
- What is French people's favorite gaming console ? The "Oui" ! (Wii)
- Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life? They don't have anti-aliasing
- What console does a mute chicken have? Ex-Bawks
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Console One Liners
Which console one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with console? I can suggest the ones about command and calculator.
- Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
- What's the police's favorite gaming console? WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U
- Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum? Too many frames.
- Why are PC gamers always so sad? Because they can't console each other.
- What's a cop's favorite game console? A Wii U
- Why did the console player faint at the museum? Because there were so many frames!
- The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- American politicians must be console gamers So many of them rant about being anti-PC
- Why couldn't the PC gamer stop crying? He refused to be consoled.
- What do you call a gaming console that used to be yours? An ex box
- You know why all elephants are console gamers? 'Cause they're afraid of the mouse
- What happens when old Nintendo consoles become obsolete? People Switch.
- If EA made a console It would be the paystation
- How did scorpion console Sub-Zero when he broke up with his girlfriend? GET OVER HER!!
- Why did the console gamer die in the art gallary? There was too many frames.
Console Game Jokes
Here is a list of funny console game jokes and even better console game puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What are the French's favorite gaming console The oui
- What's the chicken's favorite gaming console? The X-bawks!
- What's the favorite game console for Japanese priests? PlayStation
- I used to have 100 gaming consoles, until somebody stole my Nintendo Switch Now I have 99 consoles, but a Switch ain't one.
- A talk between video game consoles... NINTENDO: Do you remember when we were the video consoles all people wanted to have?
SEGA: I do.
ATARI: I have no memory. - What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common? No one can agree on which generation is the best.
- I invented a robot to remove the cartridge from my gaming console and replace it with another. It was a game changer!
- Why did the game console leave her husband? He was trying to controller
- Which gaming console is preferred by most fruits? The kiwii.
- What game console do Latinos use most? XBOX JUAN
Gaming Console Jokes
Here is a list of funny gaming console jokes and even better gaming console puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the difference between a game console and a butchery? One is a Sony Playstation and the other is a pony slaystation.
- Kids these days Kids these days are so lucky getting computers and game consoles for Christmas. When I was a kid my mom had to cut holes in my pockets that way I had something to play with
- I bought a new console today It was a total game changer.
- FBI open up!!! So why did the games console get put on the FBI watch list?
Because it kept getting turned on by kids. - What do you call a Mexican gaming console? An Xbox Juan
- I asked for a new gaming console for Christmas, instead I got some torn up cardboard, I asked why "I thought you asked for an ex-box?"
- what do you call a person obsessed with japanese gaming consoles? A Wiib.
Don't touch my mustache. - What's the most immature gaming console? Ninutendo 69
- Call of Duty should make a game about the greatest war of all time the console war
- What is a firefighter's favorite video game console? Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U
HINT: Say it outloud
Console War Jokes
Here is a list of funny console war jokes and even better console war puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why were the console wars started? Because neither side could find a clear resolution
Console Peasant Jokes
Here is a list of funny console peasant jokes and even better console peasant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the console peasant cross the road? To exchange the Xbox with the red ring of death.
Hilarious Fun Console Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about console you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monitor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make console pranks.
So a guy walks into a bar...
So a guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Whiskey?"
"No," says the customer, "just water; i was so drunk last night that I went home and blew Chunks."
The bartender tries to console him, saying "Oh come now, everyone gets a bit wasted from time to time."
To which the guy replies, "No, you don't understand: Chunks is my dog."
My ex-girlfriend called me to let me know she had AIDS...
I didn't know how to console her and make her feel better, so I just said, "I know."
Hi. I am here. First post, go easy on me.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
A console gamer walks into a bar...
...only to buy a free drink for 60$
To anyone wondering this joke is not made by me but i just had to share it. Credit goes to /u/Unbiased_Bob
What console does god use?
Praystation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Child walks in on parents in c**...
Mummy and Daddy are having s**... and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son.
son: mummy, what's going on?
mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy to flatten his belly
son: but why mummy? there's no point. the nanny just comes and blows it back up again.
How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the console peasant cross the street?
To render the building on the other side!
What is Ling Ling's (from King Pow) favorite video game console?
Wii U Wii U Wiiiiiii U
If a developer console gets a deadly illness,
... Would it be considered terminal?
Backwards Compatibility.
People hated on the new console generation because they weren't backwards compatible, the Internet practically crucified Sony and Microsoft. But really people have always been like this.
Did you see what they did to that Jesus guy when he announced Christianity was no longer backwards compatible with Judaism?
Why are stormtroopers so bad at aiming?
Because they're playing on console.
What console did I leave behind when i switched to PC?
Ex-Box
A console gamer was walking in the street
A bar popped up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox.
Do you know why they call it the Nintendo Switch?
Because you try it once then you switch to another console.
So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.
Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.
Nintendo was going to convert a car factory to manufacture their new console.
But the factory owner didn't want to make the switch.
A soap bar was trying to console another soap bar
Soap1- *crying uncontrollably*
Soap2- Stop crying, I know you're acting
Soap1- it's the glycerin
Why is Wii the most adult console?
Because it has a sensor bar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
E3 2017
Xbox: We have a new console with tons of good specs, VR support, and a badass name.
Sony: We have Kojima, God of War, c**... Bandicoot, and Spider-Man
Nintendo: We have plumbers and bunnies.
The XBox One X is Microsoft's new console
The short of that is XBOX, they've now come full circle, or 360.
What is the Doctor from Doctor Who's preferred console?
_Wiiii U_
da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum
da-da-da-dum, da-da-da-dum
_Wiiii U_, Wii-ii-ii U…
Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.
Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.
Little girl sits crying on a park bench
An kindly old lady stops and asks her what's the matter?
The girl says 'I had six kittens, but my mommy drowned five of them!'
The old lady tries to console her 'That's terrible, dear, but at least you still have one kitten...'
'I know,' replies the girl, 'but she promised I could drown all six.'
The Bison.
My son and I were hiking one day when a bison charged towards him as he was taking a leak. I shouted Bison but it was already too late and he died. My wife tried to console me and said Atleast you were able to say goodbye .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is driving with his girlfriend Erin. He called her 'E' for short.
E was feeling frisky so she decided to give him road head. He was so excited he drove off the road and crashed into a ditch.
E lost the use of her legs. Her parents were very upset and he tried to console them.
He apologized for getting E-wrecked while he was driving.
After a Year of use I can say without a doubt that the Nintendo Switch is the perfect console for Me
The Nintendo Sub was too under powered and the Nintendo Dom is more than I can handle.......
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
What is Karl Marx's favorite console?
The Wii
What's a communist's favorite console?
The Wii
My son says that Detroit: Become Human wont run on his console
That's weird, everyone usually run so fast in Detroit...
Fathers Day Joke
A small boy was at the zoo with his father. They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.
Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…
Yes, son? the father asked, ready to console him.
…Which bus would I take home?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend was upset and kept asking me to console her.
So I hit her with my Xbox.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed s**....
I said, Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the grammar n**...'s friend say to console them?
There, they're, their
A man was sobbing next to his ex-wife in the hospital who had just been hit by a bus..
He kept saying "It should have been me... it should have been me" over and over, with tears flowing out of his eyes.
The nurse tried to console him, telling him "Don't be too harsh on yourself. For all you know you couldn't have changed it, even had you been there"
To which he replied : "I guess you're right. After all, I don't even know how to drive a bus"
My friend said no terrible puns could console him after seeing Han Solo get frozen in carbonite. 'Relax,' I told him,
'Harrison thawed'.
Why are console players bad at hunting games?
Their consoles can't render the models at far away
What is a jews favorite gaming console?
Auschwitz
Mobile-Update
Tablet-Update
Laptop-Update
Tv-update
Gaming console- Update
Somehow I'm afraid to plug in the iron.
What is a cops favorite video game console?
A Wii U!
They like it so much they make their cars sirens sound like it.... Wii u Wii u Wii u Wii u
PC has a joke for console
PC: Wanna hear a joke?
Console: Sure
PC: 144 FPS
Console: I don't get it?
PC: I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How many soulja boys does it take to make a soulja man?
A game console
I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console
I had to get a Wiifund
A man went fishin and tied a nintendo console to his line
classic bait'n Switch
One evening when I was playing on my console..
One evening when I was playing on my console I noticed my girlfriend, who was sitting right next to me on the couch, looking all gloomy and sad.
Naturally I asked her what was wrong but she didn't answer.
So I turned of my console and she goes "why did you stop ?". I told her there's something much better than my console.
She looked really happy.
Until I turned on my PC.
My friend doesn't know if he wants the new Xbox X or PS5
A couple of us have tried giving him advice but he's still very troubled about the decision. Nobody can console him.
I played with my childhood console this morning.
It was a good Wiiunion.
A couple sees a man sobbing on his knees at a cemetery.
The man is yelling out "why did you have to die?", "I cannot live like this!"
The couple come over to console him, and notice the tombstone is of someone of similar age as the distraught man.
"Sir, who was this?" Asks the woman, "was it your brother? Your friend?"
The man looks up at them "my wife used to be married to him until he passed away".
Continues crying out: "Please come back, I cannot take her any longer!"
