The Best 41 Conservatives Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Conservatives jokes. There are some conservatives leftists jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these conservatives fundamentalists puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Conservatives Jokes and Puns

Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit.

Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work.

How ironic is it that gay marriage is legal, but conservatives are the ones getting butthurt?

What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters?

You'll never de-fetus.

Conservatives joke, What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters?

The IRA have been fighting for Irish reunification since the 70s. . .

All they needed to do was vote for the Conservatives.

why can't conservatives work at a checkout counter?

Because they don't like change...


In the U.S., why are liberals better racecar drivers than conservatives?

They only take left turns.

What is the definition of a Saint?

A dead liberal that is worshipped by living conservatives.

Conservatives joke, What is the definition of a Saint?

Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.

For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.

Conservatives keep telling me to find Jesus

How am I supposed to find him if they want him sent back to mexico and want a wall to keep him out?

Conservatives want to repeal Obamacare

and replace it with a single prayer healthcare plan

Liberals are more generous than conservatives

Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!

(This is just a joke sorry)

You can explore conservatives centrist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean conservatives obamacare dad jokes. There are also conservatives puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are conservatives climate change deniers?

Because they want to melt the snowflakes!

Shouldn't conservatives advocate for publicly funded abortion clinics?

The waiting lines will become so long, the baby will practically be born by the time the mother gets to the clinic.

You know why I hate conservatives?

They all make huge generalizations about liberals

It's not a coincidence that a lot of conservatives who oppose abortions are also hunters

They know that anything they kill, they have to eat.

How can conservatives be christian

if Jesus isn't even a US citizen

Conservatives joke, How can conservatives be christian

What do conservatives hate about mixed ethnicity math classes?

There's too much integration

Why are so many conservatives rednecks?

They refuse to apply sunblock liberally.

Why are conservatives bad programmers?

Because they keep getting triggered by the .libs


With this new Janus Supreme Court Decision

A lot of Conservatives are finally going to be able to secede from the Union.

If conservatives have 4chan and liberals have tumblr, what do centrists have?

A life.

Why wont America ever switch to using coins like in the EU?

Because conservatives don't like change.

The ironic thing about the James Gunn situation

I am seeing a lot of conservatives being anti Gunn

With all this stuff about the Guardians of the Galaxy director being fired,

the biggest surprise is seeing conservatives rally against a Gunn.

Liberals who watch Rupal Drag Race cannot make fun of conservatives for liking Nascar.

Illegal drag racing or street racing can become as dangerous or even more dangerous than a Nascar pileup.

What do conservatives, republicans, liberals, and democrats all have in common?

They're all boring people for getting so involved in politics

Why don't conservatives believe in global warming?

Because of all the snowflakes.

How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb?

10.
One to change at nine to talk about how good it was a in the past.

What's the difference between an American soldier and a Muslim?

Conservatives spend a lot of money getting the Muslims out of the streets.

Why don't conservatives use conditioner on their hair?

Because the bottle says Apply liberally

Why do conservatives like irrational numbers?

They like things non-terminating

Why are jokes about conservatives getting dumber and dumber?

Because Republicans have started to make them up themselves.

Despite what you think, conservatives care about more than just profits.

They also care about prophets.

Classic Brexit Joke

How many Conservatives does it take to install a lightbulb?

One to promise a brighter future and the others to screw it up.

What did all the naughty climate denying conservatives get for christmas this year?

Solar Panels

I have no idea why liberals think a video of Ocasio-Cortez dancing angers the conservatives

She lives in the USA, not some repressed muslim shithole.

Conservatives believe good government is X + Y. Liberals believe it's X + Z.

Which is why Liberals call every conservative a "Not Z"

Why aren't more conservatives protesting the sales of pre-shredded cheese?

I thought we were trying to make America grate again.

r/conservative is furious that their voices are being censored and that people are picking and choosing who can be heard

"This thread is for conservatives only"

Why are conservatives known as rednecks?

They don't use sunscreen because the bottle says to apply liberally.

A Republican and a Democrat found a magic lamp

The genie said "I will grant one wish per person". The Republican immediately jumped forward and said "I wish all Republicans and conservatives had their own planet, separate from all these libs." The genie nodded and the Republican vanished. The Democrat then asked "Are they all on their own planet?" "Yes" said the genie. "Are you sure? All of them?" The genie said "Yes" one more time. Then the Democrat said "I guess I'll just have a glass of water then."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the conservatives liberal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working conservatives tory piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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