Consequences Jokes

Following is our collection of punishments puns and potent one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Consequences jokes for adults, dirty outcome jokes and clean catastrophic dad gags for kids.

The Best Consequences Puns

What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers?

Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.

How to kill your wife without consequences.

Hah. Made you look.

A boy in Russia asks his Grandpa...

Grandpa? asked a little boy, Is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Plant?

Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted his grandson's head.

Is it also true that no one was harmed and there were no consequences whatsoever?

Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted the grandson's second head.

Facing the consequences

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.

Bill is sitting in the ladies beauty parlour waiting area....

A pretty woman came to him, pressed his shoulders gently & said: come let's go.

Bro Bill looked left & right, started sweating a bit & anticipating dire consequences said: I am married & waiting for my wife.

Lady: look carefully, it is me!

Why did the musician get fired

Because he couldn't fix a minor problem that ended with major consequences and got himself in treble.

A Russian boy walks up to his grandfather...

"Grandpa, is it true that there was a nuclear disaster at the Chernobyl Power Plant?" he says. "Yes, there was." replied the Grandfather, patting the boy's head.

The boy then says "And is it true that there were absolutely no consequences of it whatsoever?". The Grandpa says "Yep. None at all." and pats the boy's second head

I have no doubt Prince Andrew will walk away from all of the accusations alleged toward him without any consequences

No sweat

Procrastination finally caught up to me and I faced the consequences

I'll tell you all about it later.

Choices and Consequences

A man and his wife are having dinner for their tenth wedding anniversary. Suddenly the man bursts into tears.
"What's wrong?" the wife asks.
"I was just thinking," the man says, "about when I asked you to marry me. Your father came to me and said 'I know about all that money you embezzled from work. If you don't marry that ugly daughter of mine, I'm turning you in." The man cries harder as he says "And if I'd turned him down I'd be a free man now!"

One round of Russian roulette gives you better-than-even odds of surviving, but consequences of not surviving is....

Mind Blowing!

Changing a "C" to a "G" can have fatal consequences...

because some Clockwork suddenly turns into a drive-by shooting.

Why can you lie infront of short people without consequences?

It goes over their heads.

If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?

I can do nothing. If the devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

I founded a religion devoted entirely to pens called Penism...

...being a member is pretty much the same as not; I just liked how fun they are to hold and how using them has permanent consequences.

A man filled his a mine cart with fresh ore and pushed it out of the cave

After a long day of work, he decided to play some sports with his friends. There was an accident, which caused the man to die.

This shows that miner errors can have huge consequences.

When you have too many spoilt drumsets and cymbals in a band...

It might have consequences for the music. One might even say there will be serious...


Using a smartphone is the prefect metaphor for getting laid.

It feels so much better without protection, but it's way riskier, and you probably can't afford the consequences.

I've been vegan for a while, but I haven't told anyone since I'm afraid of the social consequences.

I guess you could say I'm trapped in the root cellar

I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed...

But now I'm dreading the consequences.

AT&T buying Time Warner has so much unforeseen consequences...

But at least we know DC films will continue to be phoned in.

There was a blackout in silicon valley. The event was assumed to have drastic consequences, but...

apparently he was just going for a walk.

What are the consequences of smoking weed?

The reefercussions

My New Years resolution is to exercise more

because the consequences of my bad habits have started to weigh on me

Consequences of asking women age

broken head
a guy running naked on the streets

in some serious cases Death also

I left my front door open and my Roomba got out, and now I can't find it. What are the consequences of this? It has no natural predators...

Nature abhors a vacuum

Being baptized is like having antivirus for a PC

It helps protect you from consequences of sinning going forward (but not guaranteed)

Recently, I hired a group of clowns for my sons birthday party...

...I warned him there would be consequences if he didn't clean his room! Maybe next time he'll listen!

[Pun] What is it that the Ocean's were, that the Ocean's ignored, that lead to Ocean's more?


There is an abundance of effect jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes and consequences puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any predictions witze you can hear about consequences.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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