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Consequences Jokes

35 consequences jokes and hilarious consequences puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about consequences that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Consequences Short Jokes

Short consequences jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The consequences humour may include short repercussions jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between police officers and pizza delivery drivers? Pizza delivery drivers actually face consequences when their jobs aren't done right.
  2. This is an awfully hard time for me financially. Last month I was unable to pay the bills to my exorcist and as a consequence I have been repossessed.
  3. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending an email with the phrase "Regards" again.
  4. Facing the consequences A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.
  5. Why did the musician get fired Because he couldn't fix a minor problem that ended with major consequences and got himself in treble.
  6. Prof.X died the other day whilst hooked up to his mind machine. As a consequence, everyone on earth was frozen in time.
    It's a terrible condition... Cerebro Pausey
  7. I have no doubt prince andrew will walk away from all of the accusations alleged toward him without any consequences No sweat
  8. Procrastination finally caught up to me and I faced the consequences I'll tell you all about it later.
  9. One round of Russian roulette gives you better-than-even odds of surviving, but consequences of not surviving is.... Mind Blowing!
  10. My dad told me never to listen to rumours. Consequently my copy of Tusk is completely shagged out.

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Consequences One Liners

Which consequences one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with consequences? I can suggest the ones about complications and benefits.

  1. What is the consequence for a cringey pun? A Punishment
  2. Why can you lie infront of short people without consequences? It goes over their heads.
  3. What is the consequence of a bad tackle in chicken football [soccer]? A fowl.
  4. Beside financial reasons, what is the consequence of working from home?
  5. h**... your wife without consequences. Hah. Made you look.
  6. What are the consequences of smoking w**...? The reefercussions

Consequences joke, What are the consequences of smoking w**...?

Share Hilarious Consequences Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about consequences you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean symptoms jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make consequences pranks.

A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?"

"Yes, there was"
answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.
"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"
"Yes, absolutely"
answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.

A boy in Russia asks his Grandpa...

Grandpa? asked a little boy, Is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Plant?
Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted his grandson's head.
Is it also true that no one was harmed and there were no consequences whatsoever?
Yes, it's true, said the grandpa, and patted the grandson's second head.

Bill is sitting in the ladies beauty parlour waiting area....

A pretty woman came to him, pressed his shoulders gently & said: come let's go.
Bro Bill looked left & right, started sweating a bit & anticipating dire consequences said: I am married & waiting for my wife.
Lady: look carefully, it is me!

A Russian boy walks up to his grandfather...

"Grandpa, is it true that there was a nuclear disaster at the Chernobyl Power Plant?" he says. "Yes, there was." replied the Grandfather, patting the boy's head.
The boy then says "And is it true that there were absolutely no consequences of it whatsoever?". The Grandpa says "Yep. None at all." and pats the boy's second head

A professor in a Logic class says "Alright class, if you know what 'affirming the consequent' means, then raise your hand."

A student raises her hand.

The Professor says "Ah, yes. You know what it is?"

The student says "No, why would you think so?"

Choices and Consequences

A man and his wife are having dinner for their tenth wedding anniversary. Suddenly the man bursts into tears.
"What's wrong?" the wife asks.
"I was just thinking," the man says, "about when I asked you to marry me. Your father came to me and said 'I know about all that money you embezzled from work. If you don't marry that ugly daughter of mine, I'm turning you in." The man cries harder as he says "And if I'd turned him down I'd be a free man now!"

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

I kicked a n**... habit today.

Consequently, the nun wearing it filed assault charges against me.

Changing a "C" to a "G" can have fatal consequences...

because some Clockwork suddenly turns into a drive-by shooting.

A man filled his a mine cart with fresh ore and pushed it out of the cave

After a long day of work, he decided to play some sports with his friends. There was an accident, which caused the man to die.
This shows that miner errors can have huge consequences.

I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed...

But now I'm dreading the consequences.

I founded a religion devoted entirely to pens called Penism...

...being a member is pretty much the same as not; I just liked how fun they are to hold and how using them has permanent consequences.

If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?

I can do nothing. If the devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.

There was a b**... in silicon valley. The event was assumed to have drastic consequences, but...

apparently he was just going for a walk.

I've been vegan for a while, but I haven't told anyone since I'm afraid of the social consequences.

I guess you could say I'm trapped in the root cellar

Using a smartphone is the prefect metaphor for getting laid.

It feels so much better without protection, but it's way riskier, and you probably can't afford the consequences.

Consequences joke, Using a smartphone is the prefect metaphor for getting laid.