The Best 57 Consent Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Consent jokes. There are some consent accord jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these consent technicality puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Consent Jokes and Puns

Today I was asked, "What is something you prefer from a sexual partner, but could go without?"


Want to hear a Cosby joke?

Wait ... I told it wrong. I wasn't supposed to ask for consent.

I agree even in marriage, sex without wife's consent is rape, But by same logic isn't spending husband's money by the wife without his consent...Robbery? Why do our films find it funny? How can people joke about it?

Consent joke, I agree even in marriage, sex without wife's consent is rape, But by same logic isn't spending husba

Chant at a pro-sexual consent rally.

"What do we want?"

*-- Consensual intercourse!*

"When do we want it?"

*-- Not right now!*

I kidnapped this girl last night...

And she yelled "Please, I don't want to die a virgin!". If that isn't consent, I don't know what is.

I just love that fragrance you're wearing,

is that Consent?

What's the difference between raping and rapping?

One's mostly done by criminals in shady neighborhoods, and the other is sex without consent.

Consent joke, What's the difference between raping and rapping?

What's the simplest way to prevent rape?


What do Microsoft updates and Brock Turner have in common?

They install at night, while you are asleep, without consent.

You know what's the biggest turn off for me?


Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

You can explore consent condemn reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consent permission dad jokes. There are also consent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What country has the lowest age of consent?

Vatican City

What stops rape every single time?


In light of the DNC event and my own recent experience with the forced install of windows 10.. What do the Clinton's have in common with Bill Gates?

They both no longer need your consent.

I like my sex like I like signing my contracts.

With affirmative consent.

Virginity is like foreskin...

Taken from me shortly after birth without my consent.

Consent joke, Virginity is like foreskin...

You know what ruins a rape?


Whats the age of consent in Thailand?


How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. The socket can't consent.

If adults consent to adultery

Then infants should sign up for infantry.

I prevented a rape today

I gave my consent.

Talking politics these days is a lot like sex:

You need both parties' consent and it only gets worse when the internet is involved

I wish sex was like first aid...

..consent is implied if the person is unconscious

What do you call it when a cow get's milked without consent?


A long-awaited prize

So a rich dude wants to have sex with a virgin, so he puts a girl into a convent until she reaches age of consent.

The big day comes and he's putting some lube on his dingdong and the girls asks "what's that for?" He replies "so it doesn't hurt going in."

She replies "why don't you just spit on it like the monks do?"

Do you know why vampires never run afoul of consent law?

Because they have to have permission to enter.

If you eat a banana without it's consent

Does that make it Ripe?

Consent is golden. Duct tape is sliver.

And sometimes, you gotta come in second place.

What do you call it when a fruit is fertilized without consent?


Did you hear about Matt Lauer?

More like Matt Plow her without consent, amiright?

The fastest way to end rape is to consent.

I heard Roy Moore wouldn't take no for an answer ...

It must be real terrible for him to have something happen against his consent.

Priest: why did u have sex before marriage ? U sinner ! Lady : u need to test a car before you buy it! Just like u test the little boys potential without their consent.

I got in trouble at the swimming pool...

apparently you need consent to do the breast-stroke

It should be fair

A lawyer argued in court...

If physical intimacy with a wife requires her consent and without consent it is termed as rape, then shopping without the husband's consent should be charged in court as robbery.

When someone says "Rape jokes aren't funny," I don't care.

It's not like I asked for their consent anyway.

Have you heard the GDPR joke about the guy from Spain?

I'd like to tell you, but the Data Subject hasn't granted Consent.

Newton's third law of motion

states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Therefore, if you are having sex with a woman without her consent, she is equally having sex with you without your consent, both cancelling eachother out and making rape legal.

Which is more important to women, length or girth?

Turns out it's consent.

I had to contact by ex in Poland.

To confirm that I had her consent for her personal email and phone number and other personal data as per the new European privacy regulations and GDPR guidelines.

A poem for my beloved GDPR

'Twas the night before GDPR,
And all through the house
Any presence of rodents or motion of any creatures at all will not be disclosed without specific informed consent.

Why must melon families always consent to a marriage?

Because they cantaloupe!

The amusement park was taking photos of me on their rides without my consent

When i found out, i was fluming!

If you touch a sculpture below the pants without consent...

Is it called 'statue'tory rape?

How did Helen Keller consent?

She stopped struggling.

Interview with a vampire

Interviewer: How do you know a woman gave you consent to boof her?
Brett Kavanaugh: When she accepted the roofied drink from my hand.

And finally my wife agreed that I can marry for the 2nd time...

provided I get written consent from the Saudi consulate in Istanbul. ☠

Why does a shower feel good but rain feels bad?


please downvote

Consent is my kink, I just can't have sex without it

My SO: if we have children, we need ti teach them about consent

Me: That goes without saying

What does c in rape stands for?


Therapists only want one thing.

No consent.

An inmate asked his cell mate what he was in for.

The man said he was in for murdering a man. He asked what he was in for.

Honestly I shouldn't be in here. They said it was because I had sex with a woman.

The man raised an eyebrow and asked did she consent?

Yes. She consented.

How old was she?


Then why did they put you in here?

The man scoffed and replied, they said dog years don't count.

Rape jokes aren't funny

Unless told without consent

You would think if a girl undresses you, that would be a sign of consent right?

But the hospital says otherwise

In a sex-ed class, the teacher asked me,"What was missing in your first sexual experience?"

Apparently, my answer "Consent" was wrong.

What's the difference between rain and a shower?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the consent paedophilia jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working consent decapitation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes