The Best 14 Consciousness Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Consciousness jokes. There are some consciousness cardiology jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these consciousness miraculously puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Consciousness Jokes and Puns

What happened?

A passerby saw a man laid flat on the sidewalk in front of the local beauty shop and ran to offer assistance. As the man came blinking into consciousness, the passerby asked, What happened?

The man rubbed the back of his head and said, I don't know! Last thing I remember, my wife was coming out of the salon there and I said, Well, at least they tried.

As I regained consciousness in the hospital from last night's car crash

the doctors were trying to convince me I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.

The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.

She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.

"911 emergency, how can we help you."

"Wife in bed. She so hot."

"Okay... good for you."

Consciousness joke, The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.

Liberace dies an regains consciousness outside the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, I'm sorry, Liberace, but you can't come in. It says right here you ate a parrot. That's God's favorite bird. There's no way I can let you in. Liberace responds, No, no! You got the wrong guy! I never ate a parrot!...

...Now, I mighta ate a cockatoo...

A car driver hits a low flying parrot

He takes the unconscious parrot, home and cares for it.
The next day it regains consciousness and finds himself in a cage. It gets surprised and says, " W-w-wait, jail? Did the car driver die?"


A man gets run over by a car. As he is losing consciousness he's sees the light.

It was a second car

A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.

After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell.

After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.

The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain. Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."

Consciousness joke, A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly.

There's a quantum observation theory where only police have consciousness

cop didn't see it I didn't do it

A guy regains consciousness in hospital with a golf clup imbedded in his skull.

The doctor acked him if he can remember what happened.

"Well, I remember I was playing golf with my wife. She sliced her tee shot into the cow paddock next to the fairway. We looked for her ball for a while but couldn't find it. On the off-chance, I lifted a cows' tail, and sure enough there was a ball lodged there. I turned and said to my wife, 'honey, this looks like yours', next thing I know I'm in here..."

Does anyone else ever suddenly get all existential and acutely aware of their own self-awareness and that other people around you have their own consciousness?

Just making sure it's not just me.

Tonight you will be bound and beaten until you almost loose consciousness and your tear ducts are dry

Sorry wrong sub

You can explore consciousness signal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean consciousness regain dad jokes. There are also consciousness puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a mollusc that's just short of consciousness?

A Conch.

In the USSR's School system it was very important not to fall asleep while the teacher was talking

Or you would fail to achieve class consciousness.

Police officer receives a call to a 17 year old male going in and out of consciousness...

The 17 year olds girlfriend's name is consciousness.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the consciousness balance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working consciousness frantically piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes